Linkin Park's Chester Bennington Dead at 41

It has been many years since I frequented these forums. Yet when I heard the news, this was the first place I turned. I have so many good memories from this site and the community it built. I was never the most prolific poster, but I fondly remember the rap battle threads, the political discussions, and, of course, the music leak alert thread. It brings some comfort to find these forums alive and well, and to see so many names I remember from years past.

Thanks to all who've created and supported this community. I wish this wasn't the circumstance that brought me to reconnect with it, but I'm sure glad it's here nonetheless.

 

I posted this on facebook and i'd like to share it here as well
I have no words to speak. I'm absolutely shocked, shattered and devastated. Anybody who know me know what Linkin Park means to me. They were not just my childhood but they were my Gods. Chester's voice touched my soul and spoke to me whenever i was alone or depressed. Its so sad to see him go like this.

Chester had something special. Something that saved many lives, helped them to get through their difficulties including me. He meant so much to me and all of us who were fond of Linkin Park.He was one of the happiest and cheerful people i've ever seen, so much so that we never discovered what was underneath his cheerful face.

Its funny because, i've never met him yet i feel like i lost an integral part of my life. If a person can touch millions of hearts and can make you feel like i did, you know how influential and special he was.

A lot was going through my mind today, i tried to resist listening to Linkin Park songs but i couldn't. I cried a lot like most of us did and couldn't control. Its me, someone who never knew him personally. I can't Imagine whats going through the band members' mind. He hope they can go go through this with as much less pain as they could but its not easy. The silence from Mike, Brad and other Linkin Park Members speak a thousand words.

I know what went through his mind when he wrote "Halfway Right". "All you said to do was slow down, but i was already gone". Damn, this hurts. I have no more words to speak.

Its his voice that brought us all together. I hope the whole Linkin Park Family can go through this loss.

Still feels unreal and unbelievable.

 

I haven't been here in quite a while, but God, it's good to know that there's still a place where we can support each other. It all feels so unreal, I randomly stop and realize that he is actually gone, and then it stops making sense again. There's still so much denial. Seeing interviews on TV with the band, with Chester, it feels so weird, this is about people I've met, people whose music always gave me something to hold onto, and now one of them is gone. I can't make sense out of it. He wasn't 'just a singer' to me - his music always helped me and made me feel better when I needed it. There was so much energy, so much spirit. Chester saved lives, and I'm devestated and heartbroken that, in the end, he felt like he had to take his own.

Thank you, Chester, for everything you've given the world. Your music, your kindness, your strength. I hope you find peace, and I hope that his family and the band will be able to work through the pain.

 

My friend on Facebook believes this. Believes they were murdered by the same people

 

wow...

 

Chester will always be in my heart, I am going to see this that he just left Linkin Park and retired. He can never die for me.

 

My heart hasn't stopped hurting. Chester was my childhood.

 

Linkin Park were one of the things in my life that made me happy. A comfort blanket. I feel selfish to hurt this bad when I'm not his family or even a friend, all of whom must be in immense pain and I hope somehow everyone's love and admiration for Chester can help them maybe just a tiny bit. this feels like such a personal loss and I'm really struggling.

 

It's like I've always listened to LP from my point of view, instead of listening to it from Chester's point of view.

 

I've been wanting to write here since yesterday, about a particular thing, but I honestly didn't know, and still don't know, where to start.
I hope you guys won't think this is innapropriate or selfish, it's a time to mourn, but beside all the pain and devastation I'm feeling, there's also doubt, and unanswered questions we might not ever get to know. Also, I'm sorry if any of you have touched this subject already, I haven't been able to read everything.
I've been seeing many people post recent interviews from Chester, mainly ones leading up to the release of OML, where he openly talks about his problems/depression, and how 2015/2016 was a really tough period for him. They've been saying the interviews and especially OML were a clear cry for help, and nobody noticed, or listened... And I've just been asking myself if I'm the only one who sees him speak, who listens to the songs, and takes different things from it as well... He talks about how this album was kind of a turning point, how it was like a positive outlet, not only to him but the whole band, how he started therapy, opened up even more to the boys and his family, how he didn't want to be "that other guy", how his mind was indeed a bad place to be, but doing the things he loved and this particular album was helping him deal with what life was giving him, be it something positive or negative, and mainly how he was loving life at the moment and started to be happy again. So I look at OML, and all these interviews, and honestly see hope more than any other thing, even after his passing. Yes, the lyrics have a darkness to it, but just like he explained with Heavy, it sounds more like a "yes, these things are here, but I'm learning how to deal with them, and I'm honestly happy and want you guys to see this as a hopeful message, and not a cry for help". Please don't think I'm saying everything was solved in his life. I've had a depression for many, many years, I lost my aunt to cancer after a long and tough battle for her and all of us around her, and I never take these things lightly, at all. I'm not pretending to know what was going on in his head. I know how the line between "everything is going well" and going back to the darkest of places is so, so thin. I also read how some people think the interviewers were taking everything he was saying lightly, that they weren't understanding... And I honestly wonder, and I hope I can put this down without looking like I'm selfish, or not taking the issue seriously... Wouldn't Chester want us to actually feel that way, a little bit?... Not that he was taking his own problems lightly, but for us to feel that he was dealing with them and there were positive things coming out of it. I mean, that's how C was, right? Even while talking about the most complex of things, he would still find a way of showing so much hope, to himself and to us... So, to me, more than OML or the interviews being a cry for help, I honestly think it was, and still is, somewhat the opposite. He honestly looked happy when talking about the album, when performing it, when giving it all for us. Was everything okay? Of course not... But OML still doesn't feel like a hidden message of crying for help... I honestly think the passing of Chris made him go back to "that other guy" he didn't want to be, and that's maybe when he stopped talking to people and things just got tougher and it ended how it did. Please don't think I'm trying to say what was going on in his head... I don't know, none of us did and we honestly never will, but I just wanted to share this vision I had and still have of OML and his interviews... I'm not saying he didn't need help... But I think OML was actually part of his help, rather than asking for it...
Like I said, I hope this is not innapropriate or selfish... I'm in pain, devastated, sometimes angry and then sad... It comes in waves, like to all of us, and I'm honestly so thankful and grateful to have this beautiful family and we'll support each other through all of this. We'll be here for each other, and for them. They need us and we need them. We'll always, ALWAYS be a big family. I love you all.

 

Was thinking the same thing. It really wasn't one of my favorite tracks on OML but my appreciation for it has risen several levels when I think about it after Chester.

 

Well...except I don't think there will be a day where ANYONE will really understand. Family included, unfortunately.

 

I have been thinking the same exact thing. If Chester sang it, it would be a very depressing song.

 

I have never felt this bad even two days from the info I am an emotional mess. In hindsight I also feel bad about my comments towards OML. I was one of the many that heavily hated on it and, in gneral I never mince words, because even though "unminced" words hurt badly, when you mince your words to me and tell me after, that hurts me even more. Since my prolems with OML as an album, were mostly related with stuff that chester had to do with (lyrics and vocal delivery), I wouldn't say I feel responsible, but I feel bad about saying what I did, because in hindisight I do know where hes coming from. Like for a lack of a better word, it had to come to this to realize how meaningful the lyrics really are.

Chester. I miss you so much. You were like the brother I never got to have.

 

A lot of people have said that, but you shouldn't put your opinions of the album in the category of reasons Chester made that choice. How many years did this band put up with criticism because of a new direction? It wasn't the backlash the album received, and you can't put that on yourself. Chester was deep, deep within his own head for at least the last year, it seems.

 

Now anger is setting in because of this and i've been blasting one step closer all day and when chester says
"I find the answers arent so clear, Wish i can find a way to disappear, all these thoughts they make no sense "
Now i see Chester was struggling all these years from day 1

 

I really need a break, I can't function like this anymore or should I say I don't function. I know we all feel like this so I don't want to sound selfish. I wish my brain would take a break for just one hour, think about something else. This is getitng out of hand, I was driving and couldn't care less if I get fined or drive too fast in curves. I need to start thinking about other things, jusf for an hour or two a day. I have no idea how but otherwise I'll go crazy.

 

Listen to HTEP, it's been there all along. But most of us never took the lyrics seriously in regards to Chester himself just thought of them as lyrics.

RIP Chester

 

I've always considered their lyrics to be about, mostly, his past not his present. It's so sad to think he never got over it