The pain and anguish is still immense. This will be a gaping hole I will forever carry in my life. I cannot imagine a future without my favourite band's music or my idol in it.
I was talking with my friend, and I think one of the reasons it hurts so much, is how despite already having 7 albums, and 20 years in the business...he felt like he was just getting started. His singing voice on One More Light was at it's peak. Even his screaming in live performances had improved over prior years this cycle. It felt like he had truly beat his demons and was ready to approach the next stage of his career with renewed determination. He had this huge US tour up ahead, a reunion show with Grey Daze, and loads of other things that were planned (including a photoshoot the day of his death). It's why people need to understand this likely wasn't some long planned out decision. His demons may have just been too much to bear that day, and unlike prior moments where he was able to pull himself up and keep going...the pain felt in that moment simply became too much for him to defeat. It's heartbreaking, because he truly went before his time. I just can only hope he's no longer hurting.
I agree with all of this. He had so much good going for him and coming up. I think it was the pain of Chris Cornell's birthday and the alcohol he drank. I wouldn't be surprised if it was planned since Chris Cornell died but anything before that seems illogical. It's strange to me because OML now reads like a suicide note but I don't think he was planning it during recording that album.
Yes, it is more painful because I believed he was starting a new path in life. He seemed to be at peace and eager to take on any challenge now rather than wallow in the why and what if. In all the recent interviews, I saw and heard wisdom and experience. I'm going through pain in my own life. I looked to Chester for advice on where to turn because in every interview he was letting us now how he moved on with his life. I wish he was still here.
Because of the boards "No personal life discussion" this doesn't really get discussed, but I'm curious as to just how many relapses he's had with drugs and alcohol. I know when he was promoting Dead By Sunrise he readily admitted he had fallen hard into it around that time, so there's at least one I know of. Then there's the story of him annoying the rest of the band with an alcoholic drink to celebrate singing with Paul McCartney years ago. Who knows how far removed from that lifestyle he really was at any given time, he could have been fighting off suicidal urges constantly throughout the entire run of the band for all anyone knows. People keep saying this, but I think it should be kept in mind Mike, Brad, and external songwriters wrote all the songs, with Chester only contributing to Heavy. According to credits, anyway. I assume most of LPA realizes that but I've been seeing that brought up a ton lately with the whole "Someone probably could have stopped it, listen to the lyrics of the new album!", but if anything that'd be Mikes cry for help.
He kind of struggled on and off with it his entire life from what I understood. Periods of sobriety and then relapses. I think the most publicly documented time was during DBS. But I wouldn't be surprised if it happened during 2015-2016 when he had that really bad period he was discussing.
I just hope someone is there to remind them they shouldn't feel guilt about Chester's death too much or at all. I had to learn that myself. I just want them to not be crippled by trauma. Though I'm certain they're strong enough
Hmmm, you bring up a good point. Ive always thought of Chester as heavily influencing the band's lyrics regardless of Mike and Brad being the genius behind the songs.
I've been late. I've talked to many people on many different places, but not here. Linkin Park is the best band of all time, and Chester was the best singer of all time. When I heard news of the suicide, I broke. I cried, vomited, and even thought about self-harm. I was never as sad as I was at that moment. My life feels empty. RIP, Chester Bennington. One last light has went out, and the room is pitch black.
Please don't self harm because of this tragedy. Chester would not have wanted that. We can all make it through this together. You are loved and we are all here for each other and will make it through.
I was going through a range of emotions at the time. It really upset me, and it still does. It makes me feel empty... But I won't. If I have those thoughts again, I'll try my best to get rid of them. This community as we know it will never be the same. I remember this community as being charming and funny at times, and we'd all talk about new releases and what's to come etc. I don't think we will have that anymore, though...
Just wanted to post something cool that Vans Warped Tour and "Can You Here Me?" are doing in honor or Chris and Chester. You are loved. Someone is here to help you. Reach out if you feel alone. You are loved and cared for.
Love you all guys. This fucking hurts more than I ever knew it would, but all we can do is do what we did every time we saw Chester live. We fucking threw our arms around each other, our fists in the air and screamed along with him about how we wouldn't be beaten. We owe it to his legacy to use this pain as a reminder of what matters, what's important. Love you all, we will get through this.
I stopped by Warner Bros. Records earlier today. Wish I talked to some of the fellow fans there, but man the mood is just so somber, I almost starting crying but I'm glad I went. It's all really starting to sink in.
Hi everyone. I haven't made any post in this forum long time ago but today I thought about making one since the shocking and heartbreaking news about Chester. I haven't made any post because I was mad and angry for the band recent new style in every album, so I thought why would I come here and bother you guys with my opinions. But when I heard the news, I thought about how much I love that band, and I don't care about any style they change to. Most important thing is that each one of them is in a safe condition, and you too guys. I wish everyone health and safe life. I don't mean to be rude with my comment or to talk about someone's personal life. Maybe the thing I'm gonna say won't satisfy some people, but I'm gonna say it. I REALLY got sad, felt heartbroken when I knew about Chester, but at the same time I felt it wasn't necessary for him to choose that path. He should've been thought about who will take care of his wife & 6 children after his suicide. I'm sorry guys but I really wish things didn't go in the way it did on the 20th July 2017. I'm worried about the future of the band, worried about mike, and was worried about Derek but i'm glad I saw his post few days ago. Derek i'm so sorry buddy for the lost of your beloved one's including your father. We had some fights in this forum loooong time ago when we were teenagers When Chester was alive I remember those days and i laugh now. Coz nothing more important than knowing everybody here is safe. Thank you very much guys. Have a nice day.
I relate to so many thoughts and feelings posted here and on the LPU site (where i have written some of them down). I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said already. It's so comforting to know that Chester and LP's music has helped and means so much to others as it does to me. A feeling of helplessness has set in amongst the intense sense of loss. I hope that his family, the band and his friends get to see all the messages and that they find some kind of comfort from them some day. My heart goes out to them all (as well as you guys). Rest in peace Chester. Thanks for so many reasons. You will always be loved and never forgotten.
Anyone got a better resolution of this picture of him ? This is my favorite photo of him. http://imgur.com/8Iw6Eog
I'm still in denial most of the time, like I can listen to HT and be ok because nothing is wrong, Chester is still here and they're just on a break from European tour. Then I have to remind myself that he's gone and it hurts, breaking down in tears randomly. I'm not sure if talking is good or not because everybody I talked to just says you'll be fine, give yourself time. I fucking know that but don't push me and give me time! Don't treat me like I'm a teenager just because I feel like this over celebrity's death! I know they're probably trying to help but this isn't a way, I need someone to talk to and right now it feels like I'm alone. Coming here has helped a lot because I need a constant reminder that he's gone and we'll never hear his beautiful voice again. Maybe a funeral will give me closure because I need one to accept his death and hope it will happen because denial isn't good. Sometimes I feel angry at Chester (it's totally irrational) like you idiot what did you do?! How could you?! It's irrational because I know depression and suicide are the darkness of the mind and he couldn't help himself. Then I feel guilty for thinking like that and for feeling this much grief and talking to it to my best friend when she and I (she's my cousin) lost her dad and my uncle last year. There was a beautiful newspaper article yesterday where a lady says thank you to Chester because he was a voice of an entire generation and he spoke when none of us couldn't because we were going through awkward age Regarding what you talked earlier I wonder if Chester tried to commit suicide in 2015 because he said in an interview that all his relationships hurt, he started drinking again, was diagnosed with clinical depression and just wanted to lie down in the corner and die. Poor soul