Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

I can totally understand where you're coming from. I never knew of Chris Cornell until he tragically passed away. Having struggled with suicide myself, I know how difficult it can be to find a reason to live. That being said, a small horrible part of me blames Chris for Chester's death. I know it's not true at all, that you cannot blame suicide on another person, but I'm only human and can't help be resentful that someone I looked up to and loved so much was taken away from me so suddenly. I think that like you, I'm just looking for someone to blame for this, even though that's not really the case, you know? I hate that this thought comes into my mind, because Chris's passing didn't really affect me at all, so I think that's just the easy way out of all the pain and confusion surrounding Chester's death.

 

What a great idea

 

Hey, guys! So I am not dealing well.
I started listening to Linkin Park in 2008 after Minutes to Midnight came out. Of course, I've heard Numb and What I've Done before, but it all started with Leave Out All The Rest (which now playing in my room). I saw the video and I already was calling them my favourite band. It's the first band that I've started listening to. First album that I've heard is theirs (Minutes to Midnight).
They got me through my school years. They were there for me in my darkest times. I would always turn to their music whenever I had a breakdown. I don't think I would exist if not for them. I wouldn't be the same person.
I have never been to their concert. I never got to meet them. It was my dream to meet all of them and tell them how much I love you and how much they mean to me. I always loved Chester's voice more than anyone else's. I always thought of him as the strongest person I've ever known.
I still can't believe it. I can't believe it happened to my favourite band. Not Chester, not Linkin Park.
When in happened to Chris I thought that if it happens to Linkin Park I won't be able handle it. Then I quickly calm myself down by saying that it Chester is safe. I would never think he could do it. I never thought he was in that much pain. He was so alive. I don't think I will ever get over it.
When I saw the news, I broke down in tears. Then I couldn't even cry more. 3 days after I could cry again. I didn't want all these headlines, all these tweets and instagrams. I wanted him to be alive.
I know that I should be strong, remember only good and celebrate his life, but it's so hard. I'm doing a bit better though. I don't know if someone else has it, but it's like when something really bad happens to me, I feel that pain in my heart. Like there's a giant stone in my heart. Literally, I feel that. It's getting lighter and lighter, but it's still there.

 

I felt like a lead weight was in my heart. He has been laid to rest now and so a new angel is watching over us and keeping us safe.

 

I feel the exact same. Don't have anything to say. I'm just a ball of feelings. Talking to my friends and family is not the same because they don't fully understand. This place makes me feel that I'm not alone.

 

Antidepressants and mood stabilizers take 2 - 6 weeks to start alleviating symptoms. However, that being said medications may not work for everyone.

For anyone reading, please talk to your doctor if you feel unstable. There are also nonpharmacological / psychotherapy options.

 

I hear you! I have all those horrible thoughts too. But adding feeling guilty about my thoughts or feelings won't do me any good. As if it isn't hard enough already. I wasn't affected by Chris Cornell's death. I didn't know him. But since Chester died I am blaming Chris - well not exactly him but that he died. Chester needed more time to fully heal from what he went through in 2015. And I think this huge loss for him came at a very wrong time. After he battled through his depression he was finally better this year and then another tragedy for him. I think we do blame people out of anger. I'm so angry that he is gone, and that he took is own life and that it happend because of the loss of Chris. So I wished he never met Chris or became friends with him or that Chris died. Angry at Chester for killing himself, for not calling someone when he noticed that it was really bad. Angry at the people around him who shouldn't have let him be alone with his thoughts and definitely not on the day of Chris's birthday. Angry at him fo drinking again. Just angry at everything that happend in those hours prior his death and his death itself.

I get bitter when I see that now everyone is talking about suicide prevention and awareness of mental illness. I'm thinking then for a moment "Well too fucking late!" "Why now and not sooner"? "Well won't help Chester whom I want back so badly!".

Then everytime I read someone talking about self harm and suicidal thoughts and their stories behind it I think wow that is so bad and they manage to fight and live so why is Chester dead? And I'm not a person who would wish any person ill ever. Or all the stories of how Chester changed people's lives and saved them. And I'm like great but now he is gone so how is that fair. How is it fair that all those people overcame really bad situations but he couldn't handle Chris's death and one weak moment where this bad Chester in his head took over lead to something that can never be undone?

 

Thank you for your work. I hope you take time to let yourself heal as well. I work in mental health as well and I often see my coworkers making themselves go to work for their clients despite their own crumbling mental health. But truly, thanks.

 

The problem is i dont belive a medicine can heal the soul. I have been to a few doctors and psychologist etc, not working.

 

This. Mental illness takes serious and professional help. I was one of those people who thought that doctors and nurses didn't get it. that was to my own detriment. You can't help yourself if you can't see what's happening from the outside.

 

I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling and hurting. I really hope you keep fighting.

The challenge of mental health is that there is no easy "cure". It takes a lot of time and hard work. Different things work for different people. There are going to be good days and there are going to be bad days. We unfortunately lost Chester in one of his bad days. He broke down a lot of the stigma around depression by talking about it publicly. He was a role model and a spokesperson for mental health. It really pains me to know he is gone and that we lost him to the very thing he was battling.

 

One step forward, 10 steps back. I WAS doing okay until I saw an article I wish I hadn't.......lets just say paparazzi really ARE scum of the earth.

 

Thank you, i am fighting. But its not easy and to be fair i dont see any light in the dark. And not to mention that i have this all on my back carrying, my bf betrayed me after i gave up my future and everything for him. Its been too much weight.

 

If articles like that drag you down that much, walk away from your computer screen. It's easier to not click on articles if you just walk away and close out the Internet for a second.

 

I didn't even click on it that's the sad part just the title set me off because I knew the content without even clicking.......I'm staying off social media from now on (except here, that doens't count)

 

Do you mean that intrusive article about the funeral? They didn't understand the word private.

 

uh huh.....EXACTLY what I mean

 

Everything kinda came back to me. My mood has dropped completely. I just feel so down right now. Not much to be happy about.

 

This has been happening to me a lot. At some point every day, my mood hits a low. Go find a friend to talk to when you're feeling down. Or go distract yourself. Perhaps go outside for a walk or watch a favorite TV show. I find that if I stay in the low too long, it just gets worse. Let yourself feel the pain but keep it to smaller doses.