Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

It also brightens up my day too... <3

These days I am listening to the OML album on repeat and repeat and repeat and I am constantly having the two feelings at the same time:
On the one Hand it is SUCH a great album . It is literally SO good. But at the same time it is SO hard to listen to it because it's so so SAD .
It's a masterpiece.

 

Ryan and a few others are coming to it too. I will go because I know I would regret if I didnt.

 

@kcg

In a way I can relate to this. I used to have thoughts like that and I'm worried for you. Personally I found that councelling didn't help me very much when I was at my lowest.
The only thing that kept me going was the thought that it gets better eventually and that I just have to be patient.

You need to break the cycle of negative thoughts in your head.
It starts with looking in the mirror everyday and telling yourself that you're perfect the way you are, that you love yourself and that you're loved by others aswell.
The other thing that is really important is to accept your past for what it is and trying not to look back. You have to forgive yourself for all your flaws and all the mistakes you've done and then try to forgive all the people that have hurt you.

After a while of practising this I started feeling a little bit better and I knew that I was on the right path and that I just had to continue like that.
Don't lose your hope mate. Life is hard. It's really hard but you're a fighter and you can do it!

 

Kcg I understand it's difficult to open up and that you think nobody can help you but I'd keep trying even if it means changing a counsellor because it is difficult to find a good one, the one tht can help you find techniques that will work when negative thoughts come. What I found useful and have mentioned it a couple of times here is a reasoning technique in which you ask yourself questions and answer them whenever a negative thought appears. "I'm afraid I have hurt my friend by saying this" "Ok, has this happened before with other people and how did he react? How long have you known each other?" It may be a stupid example but I hope you get a point. The other thing that helped me was writing down all the things I have to stop worrying about, have to do better and have achieved and stick it somewhere visible so I can remind myself and literally say stop to my brain when negative thoughts appeared. I also used to write in my journal and creatively express myself by writing stories.
I know it's hard work, it took me six months just to get out of the house and years to overcome issues I had and I still have to work on them almost daily but it's possible with a good counsellor and using different techniques when you're alone. When I remember what sort of person I was 10 years ago it was like an alien was inside my body not me.
As for myself I hope going to the memorial on Saturday will give me much needed closure because listening to anything except OML is still so hard, it's like I'm stuck between "he's gone" and "no, he can't be gone, he's working on new stuff".

 

I am inside planet Hollywood right now walking to my job and as I am passing club tattoo and heavy starts playing and I am all like crying

 

It even breaks my heart tho I'm not even there ... keep fighting

 

im currently in the anger stage of depression but I could never be angry at him so I'm angry at the lack of time travel or technology or magic to change the past; like not jokingly, I swear I'm just mad that there's nothing that can change it.

 

just uploaded my tribute.. hope you guys can watch and tell me how u felt.

 

Thanks! ♡♡

 

I was visiting a friend that battles clinical depression and I was doing my best to try and make her laugh and I saw her trying her hardest not to laugh and I told her it's okay to laugh and she said to me that she doesn't deserve to laugh. Depression is a vicious beast

 

This is so so sad. I'm heartbroken.

 

While I feel the same way sometimes, I try to remind myself of my Aunt, who died of a heart attack at 49 a few years ago. She battled severe depression and destroyed herself with drugs, alcohol, and terrible food choices. The thing is, my family did EVERYTHING we could to help correct her life, even having her stay with us for a year. She moved out at the end of may 2009, and was dead by that October. You can do everything possible to help a person, but ultimately its up to them as an individual as to what direction they take with their lives.

 

It really is. I worry for my friend.

 

I'm pretty sure your friendship helps her a lot. I wish the best for you and her. Hope she finds the strength and one day she'll see that she deserves to be happy ... Recovery is a hard and a long way...

 

I think that is the easiest and best way to approach it but I don't really believe in that; there are people who can and maybe will only get better if there's someone or something there; to leave it ultimately on their own is usually a mistake. I may be reading your comment wrong tho!

Anyway I just mustered the strength to hear one more light for the first time in a month and boy was it a mistake!

 

It's not about leaving people on their own. It's about being there for them but understanding that other people being there sometimes isn't enough. When it comes to it only you can save yourself cause the strength needs to come from within. Other people aren't medicine. They help but you gotta be your own help in the first way.

 

Exactly. As someone who has battled depression for many years, that's one of the first things I had to learn and come to terms with. I've gone through many phases, had 5 psychologists before finding the right one, and in the beginning I was many times angry at people, for thinking they weren't helping enough. I simply wasn't mentally ready to take the steps I deep down knew I had to take, because the most of it has to come ultimately from you. People can be there, even the meds can be there, but those alone won't make you step out of the darkness completely. You have to aknowledge that first, and then work to change it. People will always be there for you, but it's important to know that getting their help and support doesn't mean solving all your problems for you. If you, being the one who's going through those problems, don't want to change anything, for example, and there were times I really didn't want it at all, then those people can't help you take that step for you, even if that's the thing they want the most.

Also, I hope you guys are holding on. Even when I'm not writing here, I'm still reading you guys all the time. I'm always here for you!

 

I know this isn't really the best place to ask this. However I am curious as when and how you guys realized you are actually depressed?. Like how do you know you've reached that point and need to seek help , that it's just not a phase in which you are extremely sad.

 

Thank you very much. Just know that we're here for you too <3 I'm reading everything as well tho I'm not writing everyday.

 

I'm borderline and I knew it very early. I selfharmed first when I was about 14 and I always was someone who thought too much about everything and I did this even back then when I was a little kid.
By the age of 19 or 20 I went to a psychologist and told him that I have borderline personality disorder and she said that I'm right with that. I knew it by myself cause I read about it and I spent much time thinking bout my own personality.
I don't take any medication not do I go to a psychologist anymore cause I found that I'm better off helping myself somehow. I don't harm myself anymore and things..

Sorry for doubleposting.