RANDOM THOUGHTS 25

WTF?

 

It's kind of fun pretending the world will end Friday.

 

My world ends today! I don't want to see you anymore! Understand that! Remember when you told me that you will come to me but you didn't? Do you know how much it hurt? How can I trust you? You only talk but you never did what you promised! Every promised meeting failed! This tells something! Just go! Leave me alone!

 

I can only speak for myself, so I have no fuckin' idea.

 

HOW?!

 

Never lost my voice before... Nobody told me how awesome it is...

 

I was gonna ask if a clown followed you home or visited your school, but decided that sounded too creepy. Turns out I was almost right.

 

Agreed! haha

 

Ha ha!

 

You don't understand, do you? I've told you from the beginning that I am not ready but with the time passing it has become more clearly for me that the only path I deeply need to follow is the one of gaining my independence. This is me and this is how I feel. I've given too much from my soul to other people and I always ended deceived. This is one reason for this madness should stop. I'm scared to get involved now in another relationship. Another reason is that I'm a bad example for my kid. I want to show myself, to my kid and, why not, to my effin husband that I can do this and I don't need him to make my life beautiful. I can't give in anymore. I need to do things for myself. The time is passing and I can't afford to lose it anymore. I have a duty to be one of the best moms. This is one thing that mainly describes me and I don't want to screw it now. When I came here and started to write to you I was searching for a little fun because I was passing through some horrible feelings. I didn't expect things to twist like this. I feel that I've reached a moment in life when I should redefine myself and the first step is to redefine myself alone. I've traveled between this thirst for independence and the wish of being with you, every day. I had doubts every moment since than. Now I know what I want to do. I'm not ready to give in to you. I may sound crazy but I think that you had the opportunity to see that I am a little different. So this really is the end. I am determined to stop this madness right now. I'm sorry! I can't go forward. Wish you only well!

 

I repeat:

 

That's not good for me, can we reschedule till Sunday ?

 

I've been playing to The Binding of Isaac a LOT, haven't got bored of it since I got it. I guess I should blame one of the purple people here who recommended it to me (can't remember who he was lol ).

No but seriously, THANK YOU.

 

It had to be Louis