I posted this on the Linkin Park subreddit, but because the LPA has been with me since the ATS era and I love you guys with all my heart, I definitely feel I needed to let you guys know how I've been doing lately, so here's a re-post. ___________________________________________________ After being shellshocked and hurt and heartbroken for the past week--and after a few moments where the demons Chester helped me overcome came back and tried to overtake me again--I've finally been able to somehow smile and love my life again. In a way, I've been able to finally (and slowly) accept Chester being gone by celebrating his amazing legacy and life, and listening to Linkin Park 24/7--mostly all of One More Light, actually. In addition to that, I visited his Hard Rock memorial, got a customized hat from Lids commemorating him, and my manager/friend at work--who understood my pain entirely because she's an Avenged Sevenfold diehard who lost The Rev--made me a "Chester 1976-2017" label to put under my name on my nametag. At my friend's going-away party--where I put on "Sorry For Now" over the speakers at one point--one of my friends requested "In the End", and I found myself jumping up and down shouting the song along with the rest of my (drunk) friends. I've also bought that amazing drawing one of the Redditors, the Kerrang! magazine of Chester, and donated to MFR. Does Chester being gone still hit me like a ton of bricks? Oh yeah. Every day. But I'm not depressed anymore. I think he's in a much better place now, away from the negativity in this world, and--I'm Catholic--I've continually prayed for him, Talinda, his kids, his family and friends, and of course the guys. Chester always made me learn to love myself and my life, and fight against and overcome anything that threatened to ruin them, and I'm being reminded of that today. I'll be getting the new LP logo and some OML lyrics tatted on my right forearm to honor him and LP, and I'm going to the memorial at Planet Hollywood in September here in Vegas. If you need someone to reach out or talk to, just know that I'll always be here for you guys, because I know everyone else is still in pain, and that's totally understandable. I'll be wearing my customized Chester hat at the memorial We are one family under Linkin Park, and I love you guys so so so much. Let's never forget to celebrate this amazing man who touched our lives and left such a huge mark on them. I love you with all my heart and soul, Chester. Thank you.
Great post! I'm not quite where you are just yet, but I'm getting there. Actually I don't know, maybe I am. Wait nah, really close though!
Whenever I think of Chester my stomach turns and my heart sinks. I think it'll be that way forever. The shock has disappeared, but i'm as confused as ever.