heres one that's alittle darker. i stand and stare up at the wall and feel like it's all been worth while cause the hurt you caused me made me do this and it all started from that first kiss back then it all seemed so perfect the love was there and we thought we would make it to lovers paradise, i thought we would be there then all of a sudden you didn't seem to care then it started to chage in a whirl i no longer felt like your girl just someone who was there to blame i got so fed up with playing your game so i picked up the gun and put it in your face no longer will you be on my case bang goes the gun and down you go on the floor i have no regrets even with your blood on the door i stand and stare up at the wall i still feel it's been worth while to get you out of my life for good cause this way was the only way i could ok then, lets hear you thoughts please
Hey! that's a nice one! I really can't believe your progress, its really amazing! I believe you are trying a little bit hard to rhyme sometimes, but just in a few lines. lol it happens to me all the time, but I believe you are getting sooooooooooooo better every damn day!!! Don't you ever worry if anything happens, cuz we all have to start from one point. no genius is born knowing everything! you just keep on writing, you are a very talented person and i can see deep inside of you the powerful desire of express your thoughts and feelings and be heard by others. that's just admirable way to go!!!
Err, 'm not too good with the speeches, but methinks that this is bloody brilliant! It's great, the emotions, the way you rhymed, though it was a little bit awkward; the rhyming scheme. But I love the way you kind of poured your emotions into this poem ... at least I like to think that you did that. Keep it up!