Got Something You Want To Let Out?

My sister is better.



Taro has maggots, I am taking him to the vet tommorow.

 

Drama in a crew that has been drama-less for a year and a half. It was complete and utter bullshit.

So there is me, austin, pat, caleb, and kyle. together we make up what we like to call ourselves and the school knows us as "the Krew" we're the tightest friends. today we got senior priveleges which is basically off campus lunch. so we were all gonna go to calebs house for lunch according to pat, caleb and kyle. austin didnt have that in mind and i didnt even know. so austin said na i want some mc donalds, and caleb tripped out. cuz he randomly does. so austin was like what the hell, okay. so i went to calebs and austin went whereever and i spoke to caleb. he brought up a bunch of shit that didnt need to be said, and said he didnt want to hang with austin ever again. so i related it to austin. and austin told caleb he could go to hell with his bullshit, caleb said something so austin punched him in the face. caleb and pat were shocked, austin was pissed, and i was like what the hell. then caleb looked at me after ausitn left and halls cleared and he was like what did you do? i was like i just told him what you said to me. except i didnt tell caleb i told austin about all the needles things caleb said. so austin and caleb patched things up in the office, and after school i went up to caleb and he was like jon im more pissed at you than i am at austin. i was like fuck dude, he punched you and your pissed at me cuz i told him you were running your mouth. but he just walked off.

Thats such a load. Gah. He can be an ass hole sometimes. Secretly im glad austin nailed him cuz he needed it to knock some sense into him. We told him to meet us tonight so we could sort things out. he didnt show. so heres what im going to do. if he gives me any hell come monday, hes gonna wish it were austin punching him again, cuz im gonna take a level him. because he knows i could, and would. but hopefully it wont come to that

so anyways, long post. you probably didnt read all of it, and if you did, you have nothing else better to do. i basically just wanted to rant, but didnt want to post it in a blog.

 

ok, here's the soap opera that is my life:

i've had a crush on this guy that i've liked for 2 years and finally did something about. after we graduated we started to hang out together alot more, but i didn't know if he was really interested in me or not. i finally get my first kiss ever from my crush. after that i totally froze whenever i was around him and about a month later, we broke up.

about 3 weeks later at a party my friend was having, my ex-boyfriend that i still have feelings for was flirting with my best friend (of three years). what really bothers me was that she was flirting back at him and when i tried to talk to her about it she said that she was "only playing along". a few hours later when my best friend was drunk, and my ex-boyfriend was passed out somewhere, i talked to her about flirting with him and how either one of us wouldn't go after the other person's ex. she told me that he wasn't her type and that she knew how much i still really care for him and that she was only using him for her own flirting reasons. so i thought nothing of it after that.

fast forward to last friday when she asks me how i'm taking the break up. i knew it was suspicious because she rarely talks to me about it. she then asks me if i would be over it if he got a new girlfriend and i told her "yeah, sure i guess so." then she got really quiet and she had this look on her face that i could tell that i knew she was hiding something from me. i asked her what she was hiding from me and she said "i told matt i like him". i'm totally shocked when she said this and i had no idea what to say, so i said nothing for a while. then she asked me how i felt about it and i said to her "but i thought you said he wasn't your type, that he was just a friend. you told me you didn't even like him when i was first seeing him" and i continued to rant about it. and i didn't talk to her for the rest of the weekend.

on tuesday, i get a call from her saying that my ex-boyfriend(matt) told my best friend that he likes her back. then she asks me if i'm ok about going out with him and she tells me "if you don't want me to go out with him, just tell me and i won't" i didn't know what to say so i told her to just go for it and that there's nothing i could do about it.

then today i talk to her and she says that matt wants to talk to me and make sure everything's ok between me and him. knowing matt like i do, i knew he wasn't going to call me, and he didn't.

so, now i don't know what to do about my firend. she totally lied to me about not going after my ex-boyfriend, and now she wants to know if i'm ok about it. the thing is, this isn't the first time she's done stuff like this to me before. she always tries to put herself in the best possible light and at the same time making herself look like she's the victim in this whole mess.

if anyone has any advice, i'll greatly appreciate it.

thanks for reading my rant.

 

im strangely frightened that she knows that i know what her blog is....hmm, she always so good at pretending nothing was wrong but so was i....heh

 

matt - arg. that really sucks, but you're right. the unexpected can happen at any time, you just gotta be prepared to react and not freeze up when it's your turn for the moment.

aisha - *hugs* What about the dishes? You forgot the dishes!

jon[athan] - Ahh, shit happens. I'm sure the dust will settle eventually with your friends. Just try to keep them cool and not pissed at each other.

uberness - She's at least asking for your permission, right? At least she (and your ex) aren't going behind your back secretly and going out without you knowing it, which would lead to you being 10x more pissed than you currently are (which you shouldn't be). Maybe she didn't quite like him before, then he grew on her. It seriously happens. Just don't get too pissed over it. If you really want him, then take him back, otherwise stop getting so frustrated about it, as it won't do you any good in the end. =]

evan - 'Awkward' comes to mind. Just keep calm, the world's not gonna end tomorrow, right? [i hope.]


As for myself, there's this grade 10 girl that I've made friends with that rides on my bus with me. Can you guess where this is going? Yeah, well, she sent me an email asking what I would think about going out with her. Hello awkward. Talk about moving way too fast. I like her as a friend, but that's the end of the staircase. Hopefully she didn't take my email badly, I tried to word it as nicely as possible. I still need to make a proper group of friends, never mind a girlfriend. Although, I'm getting pretty good at the making friends part. Just thought I might share that with you all. *shrug*

 

@Tomi- the dishes can't be washed now . really, these cuts are so deep I think that I'd be having a scar for all my life. I hope that's not it.

My mother just told me that Itrat is paralyzed. It affected half of her body, she's only eleven. This is horrible. Apparently it happened at school, I don't know the detail.
I'll be taking Taro to the vet today.
And studying for my tests. WHO said that Environment Management is easy? Though it's better than having Add maths, and all three sciences. I've taken:

Environment Managment/Environment Sciences,
Biology,
Economics,
Sociology

Apart from these I have compulsories.
Urdu
English Literature
English Language
Pakistan History
Pakistan Geography
Islamiyat
Mathematics

 

Yikes, Aisha!
About both the studies, and Itart., Best of luck with Taro, love.


Tomi- Amazing news! Great to hear that you're making more friends!

 

Oh wow, all the best to everyone, good luck, good spirits, and all

 

Yesterday, a girl I used to really like, was at my school.

We were becoming friends a few years ago but then she went to a different school than I did... I don't think she was into me that much, though. You know, she didn't even see me yesterday.

I'm so lame with girls.

 

That's because you never went up to her and said "hey, remember me?".

 

Yeah, well. If I did that she probably would've said "No, who are you ?" and that would've been too painfull.

Besides she knows other people that go to my school and they were talking to her. Those other people aren't my best friends either.

 

Wow she has guts, I could never ever get myself to ask a guy out. What grade are you in? I'm a tenth grader myself, and trust me it's a time when we get a shit load of studies (atleast in Olevels) so maybe her mind's been bazooka'ed with all the cramming or maybe she finds you cute or maybe both. Is she pretty? I'm glad you have friends now though and she sounds promising (not the Dr()g$ r K3wl!!1!! type) keep close to her, she might turn out to be a good friend. I just hope things don't get too awkward between you both.

 

i miss cutting.

 

I'm in grade 11. I'd just rather keep her as a close friend, than a girlfriend. I hope things don't get awkward either, which I'm kinda worried might happen.

 

My dad's a fucking douche bag.

I hate how he's allowed to do shit but the second someone else does that same exact thing they're in the wrong.

He yells at us all the time to help around the house but he doesn't have to lift a damn finger.

When he tries being funny in a serious situation it's alright but when someone else tries it they're being stupid.

When he yells at the dog it's okay but when someone else does it it's wrong.

He can do what ever he wants and he's never wrong but when someone does the exact same thing he just did they're wrong.

You're an asshole.

 

He's allowed to be a hypocrite, but if it's someone else; "idiot!"

I kind of know how you feel.

 

do i like her or not? im not sure...i possibly do, but then again i probably dont...ive known her for close to two years and i still dont know what i feel....oh well...

 

I like this girl so much, i haven;'t talk to her i just see her sometimes on campus especially on mondays/wednesdays, just real quick though

but she;s so pretty it leaves me speechless for 10 or more mins lol!

What in the world can i do to talk to her? or even worse, when can i talk to her?!?! i don;t think she has any free time when i'm available, crap i just want to know her name or something!! her beauty is amazing

 

You should be careful about this. I was in that situation once, and I thought this girl was so great, but it turned out she was stuck up, unbelievably ditzy, and had turned her back on her best friends to become a cheerleader.

Find out as much as you can about her before you try anything. Then, if you still want to talk to her, you should have some idea of what to say.



Homecoming was tonight. Must've been the craziest time I've had in a while. It sort of reminded me of Romeo and Juliet, because while I was there, I wasn't having any fun until I thought "Screw this. There's no point in trying so hard to get her if I have to wait so long." After that, I just went crazy with everyone else.

However, after that, I was struck again by a near-silent treatment from her. She never even said goodbye to me when I did to her. It seems to me like I'm never really there to her.

 

I think I know why I've had that depressed feeling that I've had for ages now. [note: I'm not actually depressed, it's just that weird feeling.]

I currently have no direction in my life. Right now, my life is like a paper boat on a still lake; not moving anywhere. I need something to create that current to get that boat moving, but what? That's the question. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to do something, but I don't know what. It's so confusing.

I sit here on my computer all day, because I have nothing better to do. I read forums and news all day because I don't have anything productive to do. I want to do something productive, but I don't know what. Again, it's like that missing current. Sometimes I have a general idea of what I want to do, but I can't figure out the specifics of what I really want, and what will work out.

My dad thinks I'm depressed sometimes. I won't quite call it depression. Depression would be being sad and not wanting to really do anything at all, just wanting to avoid everything. Meanwhile, I want to do something, but I don't know what. I don't know if there's a term for that. If there is, do tell.

I was hoping by moving to Kelowna, maybe something would come up and sort me out, but as of yet, nothing. The wind still hasn't found my paper boat.