Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

most likely, she wants u to think about her. well there is 1% that maybe she isn't doing it on purpose but i can't really say since i don't know your history.

 

It's the 1%, mate.

 

fuck all of the fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just thought i'd say that to get it out of me...i've had a horrible day at school and with teachers and finals....and my parents and family aren't helping. so ya.....

 

I'm pissed.

 

My Chemical Romance has just pulled their last straw with me, as a fan. I've been a fan for about 4 years now and I've attended 6 shows here of theirs and met them 3 times a LONG time ago. They've turned into this joke band that really just tries to be as big as they can possibly be. The Black Parade is a solid album, I'll give them that, but they are NOT the band they used to be and do not treat the fans how they used to. It seems as though all the fans who have stuck with the band since the beginning (or before Three Cheers) have been left out in the cold and they don't even fucking care. Not to mention they try to say that The Black Parade is a concept album when its really not. If people knew the band, they'd know it's just Gerard's life story and they're lying to the fans calling it a concept record when the relation to Gerard's life is just so apparent.

The teenagers video has really set me off. Yes, its just a video, but it is NOT them. Seriously, a performance dressed up as an assembly in a high school where they get attacked on stage? Great concept guys. I don't know what the hell happened to this band but I think it's quite obvious that the fame has gone to their heads. I don't know if I'm even interested in watching them at Projekt Revolution.

 

This past Monday was 1 month since my grandmother passed away. My mom got the phone bill yesterday and wondered why it was so high. She looked at it and saw a lot of April 28th calls, which was when my grandmother died. Seeing April 28th on the phone bill really set my mom off into a depression, especially seeing the first phone call on that date. There is always something to bring back that date and it's really hard to put it behind me and to go on living my life. Ever since then my mom hasn't been the same. She doesn't want to do anything and doesn't sleep well at all. I just wish there was something I could do. There really isn't except continuing to be the strong one and to comfort her through this whole ordeal but I always feel it's never enough or it's not helping.

 

I've seen this logo popping up in several websites and I'm just glad that a lotta people like it. I take it as an encouragement. Thank you.

 

Oh, Andrea

 

Thank you. <333

 

Well.
He's leaving soon and it just doesn't feel real. It's like i'm dreaming he's not leaving but in reality he is and there's nothing I can do to keep him here. It's like I did something wrong and life is taking him away. It sucks. The worst part is I think we're going to seperate. We aren't deciding anything yet but I just know that we are going to let go for now. We were emailing and this is one thing that was said..."I love you Alicia no matter what happens, and if we do choose to seperate im sure someday our fates would again intertwine if it was meant to be"
But on another note
2 days left of high school! I'm so glad to get out of this place.
I have a final next hour that I didn't study for. I suppose I should.

 

I can't get into an assignment completing mood -.-

 

I had a big fight with my mom again...it's not that I'm the only one to fight with his parents. But ever since dad moved to the states, it keeps getting harder to be with her. Yesterday she started yelling at me, cuz I didn't fully agree with her on when a person is fully grown. I told her that I believe that no-one's ever really grown up...and she took that to mean that I was saying she was childish and stuff like that. She sent me to my room, cuz I refused to apologize for yelling back at her. (It's always hard for me to apologize for something I don't feel sorry for...Kinda got that from her) A few minutes later she came down and told me I better apologize or I'm grounded. I told her she could ground me...that I didn't mind. And she bitchslapped me for it. I started shouting at her and the neighbours started taking a peek at what was going on...which was about when my mom ran out the door and left for her boyfriends house....I just fell to my knees, slammed my head against the door 3-4 times and started crying...I know I was lying there for about 3 hours yelling and crying that I wish I could be any other way cuz I knew what time it was when she left and what time it was when I finally got back up...Then I went into the bathroom cuz I was feeling sick...spent the next hour their glaring at my reflection in the mirror. threw up, passed out and woke up on the couch next morning...yeah...so basically this morning. I still feel kinda...weird...I'm ashamed that I spent 3 hours crying and wishing I were something else. Still can't really look at myself in the mirror...I try to avoid it.

 

I know how you feel, because my grandpa passed away and for awhile, my mom was depressed too. She was never happy and didn't want to do anything anymore. I didn't really know what to do either, but I was there for her and she seems to be getting better but my grandpa's birthday is tomorrow, so I know it's going to be a rough time for my family. It's bad when it's how you feel but when it's someone as close to you as your parents and you have to sit there and watch because you can't really do anything, it's the worst.

 

for Doc.

--

Okay, I quarrelled with my mother. I'm currently not speaking to my da right now, so this isn't cool. I want some damn pancakes. I need to make myeslf feel better.

 

*gives pancakes*

Parents can be a real pain...

 

I went through the exact same thing about 5 months ago. And right now it may not seem like you'll ever move on, I know for me it was almost impossible to see how my mum, or myself for that matter, could move on and recover from what happened. But eventually you will, it gets easier with time.

And by the sounds of things, you're doing a great job by supporting your mum, thered nothing more anyone could possibly ask or expect of you.

Keep it up, and good on you for being strong.

 

I stopped trying to believe anything. Life is just so fucked and everyone is so dishonest towards me as of late.

 

My lying cheating bastard ex boyfriend needs to goddamned stop being cute.