Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

2 Checks didn't pass a few weeks ago, I go to the bank and give more money to make sure that the second time they DO pass. Again, they don't pass. I look at my account and guess what? The bank stole the money to make up for 'all the troubles' they had to go through the first time. That's €200 they took. LOLZ.

Not. I cried my eyes out ofcourse since we're very, extremely short on money this month.

 

They bounced two checks and charged you for it?

 

That's right. And when you make sure there's enough money for the 2 checks the bank keeps it for themselves.

 

Wow... I don't even know what to say about that.

 

Yeah it's pretty fucked up. Maxime will make a letter tuesday to ask the money back since they do that in some situations...it's upto them though so I don't think they will. In that case I will close my account and turn my back to them.

Thanks baby.

 

I really really really really really don't need her telling me she loves me right now.

Good luck with that anyway, Marj.

 

As some might've read, Daniel attacked me in the Vic Hotel last night. This is how it all started, I'm shaken up about it still.

We had an argument this afternoon about food. He wanted to go to McDonalds and have McDonalds there and come back to his place, and I said
"Why can't you go to Maccas and bring it back to eat here?" He cracked the shits about it. So then he told me that he was going out with Al to drink. I said to him that if he gets drunk and I somehow find out about it, he owes me the money he spent on drinks.
So I went to Sam's 19th at Italian resturant downtown. Had a grand old time (uploading the pics as I speak) had two strawberry magaritas, yummy as! And then everyone went to the Vic. We then got told to come back to Coles for the cake that Sam and Liz had just gotten so we went back to the mall to sing happy bday to her. And then everyone headed off back to the Vic while Brie and that went to the Duke. I happen to ran into Daniel piss drunk and so I said -
"Where's my cash? You've broken the deal."
So he was like no no no, and then I ordered a Goon Sunrise and poured the whole thing into his beer. He was pissed. And then I told him -
"You've had enough, let's go home. You're drunk."
"Get fucked."
So I grabbed his hands and tried to pull him towards the door but he wouldn't budge. So he got up from his bar stool and then I still hadn't let go. I kept on telling him that he was drunk. But he kept denying it even though he had openly admitted it that he was drunk minutes before. So he was like -
"Let go of me,"
"Only if you come home and sober up"
"Fuck off bitch"
He started pushing and shoving me at first, freeing my hand of course, but Al soon restrained him. Al went away to the bathroom. So he grabbed my hand and we started to exchange idle threats about hocking my appliances that I had at his place etc etc etc. So he started to bend my fingers backwards.
"Are you gonna let go?"
"You're drunk, I'm trying to do you a favour!"
So he continued bending my fingers backwards. By this time I was in severe pain and I felt like any moment my bones would snap. It was that forceful that not even my piercings had experienced such pain (they still really hurt now).
"Are you gonna let go?"
"Daniel, stop it you're hurting me," - self-defence motive, I slapped him across the face with my spare hand, tried pinching him, tried to get away from his grip, but he was too strong.
"Are you gonna let go?"
"Yeah,"
"Are you gonna let go?"
"I just said fucking yes! Let go of me now!"
He let go and he raced off to the bathroom, leaving me wtf to do. So I went upstairs with the rest of my friends and told Phil (ran into Hamish btw, uber hot guy) and he told me what to do - go tell the bouncers. So I did and they removed him from the Vic Hotel. I ran into Heather and by the look in my eye, god that woman knows me well!
"Let me guess, Daniel's done shit again?" Heather asked me looking concerned as she knew what had happened before. I told her and so on I said Happy Bday to her (it's hers and sam's today!). So I then tried to make myself happier by dancing didn't work, so I told Liam and Liam escorted me down to the police station cos he had convinced me to record the event just in case anything else happened. Seriously taking that man to court and placing a restraining order on him. He had that look in his eye, the same one that he had when he slammed down his fist on the table the other time, he looked like he was going to seriously do some damage to me.

AND THIS WAS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHO WAS BLIND DRUNK ... but I was quite the sober person for once.

 

There's this girl who's been one of my best friends for a few years now and, to be totally honest, I've been completely crazy for her for the majority of that time. I love her more than anything and anyone. I guess I've managed to repress it to a point but it kind of came back into the open this week. You can probably guess what happened by continuing to read this but I can't even bring myself to type that in plain terms, hah. I've done pretty well in this respect over the years but when that's happened so many times with the ones you hold in the highest regard it makes you wonder; are you really that great a person? Are you setting your standards too high? Every time she talks about another boy even slightly favourably I feel so fucking jealous. As pathetic as this might come off to some of you I feel completely vile. I don't want to be in this situation at all but obviously it's not something you can pick and choose. It's the middle of Saturday night and normally I'd probably be doing something right now, so I can't really articulate myself further; there's more that I could include but I won't. Whatever I guess. If you actually read this I appreciate it.

 

DS: I wouldn't put up with his shit. That's ridiculous. He obviously has no regard for your feelings. Who cares if he was drunk or not. I'm sorry that that happened.

Dean: Have you ever tried pursuing her? I'm around if you need to talk to someone. <3


I'm glad to read that people are happy. Go you guys. <3

 

Yeah, if I hadn't at least tried I don't think I'd be reacting like that. Thanks, I'll probably pm you later. And thanks Louis.

 

He's also my ex.
I'm lacking a heap of sleep. Still upset about last night's events. I wrote him a letter telling him what I felt of the situation. Unexcusable and immoral.
I want to see his reaction but at the same time I don't wanna see him at all. I said in the letter that he had a couple of options I'm willing to give him and one of them was "#4 Apology - I'm not going to accept it but you can apologise just to make yourself feel better." I said to him also that I've lost respect towards him entirely now, as a friend, as a male and most importantly as a human being. I don't know what to do, the cop I spoke to said I should try and remain civil with him and try to be friends with him....how the fuck can I remain civil after doing what he did and when I was only trying to help him out? He was drunk and I said to him "Let's go home you're too drunk." The worst kind of person I reckon. I said to him as well I'm prepared to delete him out my life entirely, but it didn't need to come down this and that's what is depriving me of my sleep. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it last night, oh well, I spoke to Liam about it and he convinced me to go to the cop station to at least report it...
I've lost respect for him and I'm going to stick to implementing the deletion of him outta my life. His number will be the first thing to go once I deliver the letter and pick up my stuff. If I lose respect for them, it's an automatic deletion (well not automatic at times, but it takes a fair while). I just kick myself now for not listening to my friends about him. I said in the letter as well "As much as you want to roll your eyes at this statement, go ahead, I seriously don't care, but my friends were right. I've lost respect for you entirely. What a messy way to end a friendship, could've gone better, but it didn't need to come down to this." I'm resolving the unresolvable relationship. He just won't exist in my life anymore. And every time that I think of talking to him, yeah, I'll say hi to him in the street and all, that's about it, I'll think about about that record he has now that Liam (gotta txt message him and thank him again for picking me up in a mess and all driving me to the station) persuaded me to put against him. He drew the final line last night.
I'm still kicking myself for not listening to my friends about him - LPF and reality, well Ravyn falls into the catagory of both really. Liam, Mel, I mean how fucking blind was I? Unbelievable. I don't love him anymore, or even like him. He's just so....mean.

 

DS- Dude what shit.

Just stop talking to him for now.

@Marj- What immoral shizz.

 

I have to give him the letter later on today. *hugs back*

 

God, for the third time recently I spent a night sleeping right by her side. As good as it is that we can be so close, it kills me that I can't just reach out and hold her... Aargh.

 

I have a feeling that Daniel's already out to achieve my goal, have an AVO on another. So how did it start?

Well I went over after talking to my brother about the situation, got Maccas and then knocked a couple of times at the door. No answer, so place 3 page letter addressed to Daniel down under door and then he reappears behind the gate. He then told me that he would get my stuff and then the reason why he was behind the gate was because he didn't want us to come in contact with one another. So I sat on the porch and then Kate's bf came out, felt sorry for me for some reason and let me in. So I walked into his room there he was lying on the floor doing nothing, so I went to my corner of the room, dropping the letter down on the ground and telling him "anytime" for him to read it. So he read it and he seemed unimpressed by what was said.

Now comes the juicy part.

I basically kept asking him questions because I said I would rather a happily deletion of his character than a bad deletion where questions remained unanswered and that I would only be reappearing back in his life for the answers to these questions. So I gave him the questions and basically, he blamed all last night on me, saying that I was "assaulting" him by tugging at his shirt and pulling at him. And that almost breaking my fingers was an act of defence. And that he removed himself from the Vic and he wasn't kicked out.

I asked where my money was, where my stuff was and where my food was, and he said that I am not going to get any of the above back for going to the cops last night. So I lost control, stood up quickly from my corner and slapped in him across the face. He then stormed out of the house and called the cops. I went back to my corner thought about my actions, decided they were a bit out of control and I needed to regain self control again, thus, I needed to go for a walk. So I got back up, took his phone and stormed out. So I called up Imogen asked her what she was up to and nothing much. Then went to the park and called Liam and told him basically I'm losing control of myself. He said he couldn't do anything because he was about to start work but he said txt him to update him.

One major thing he pointed out was -
"The cops ain't going to do shit. They don't care about break ups. They rather care about black kids bashing people up on the side of the road. If he's gone to get an AVO against you, that's a good six months in the court, he's dragging it on and it's just all words."

Agreed. But the funny thing is, he was taunting me to get an AVO put on him, not the other way around. Jesus, I wasn't even planning to talk to him. He wouldn't let ME get MY stuff and he didn't anyway in the long run! He just loves provoking me that asshole. He knows how to piss me off and in someone with a mind like mine, when I'm pissed off I can lose self-control. I've shown in my history and really, the uni councillor is doing jackshit about helping me. Makes me wanna grab a knife and something, and then we'll see if Daniel is human, if he is, he'll pour out red blood. If he isn't pouring out red blood, there's something fucking wrong with him.

Walking home, pouring down rain. It felt good for it to rain on me. Then Imogen saw me and gave me a lift home. Thank God, no cops. BUT one thing I have to work on, NO YELLING AT THE COPS !!! Fuck, they piss me off. It's in the family. They piss my brother off easily, and they somehow piss me off easily.

And all the people who don't know what an AVO is go to this website >> http://www.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/lawlin.../pages/lc_avo1

I thank modern technology nowadays that I ain't pregnant. Or some shit would've been stirred even more. Especially when he's made it clear to me several times that if I were, he ain't sticking around. Fuck him seriously.

FILE DELETED !

 

less that 12 hours before the memorial service
But I just got home from hanging with friends. They cheered me up and I had a really good night. The ex was there...But I didnt see him most of the night which was good because he likes to start drama. I actually was by someone else that made the night. There was a bonfire and I sat next to him the entire time we even ended up holding hands lol. I always knew there was something between I just never took the step to see if there was. We'll see what happens....

other then that 2pm-6pm will be really depressing
Im not looking forward to seeing everyone crying

 

This shit really isn't going to turn out good at all. Baaad situation. I just feel it.

 

I hope it does turn out good, for your sakes, sweety.

 

It basically involves 4 guys and a girl, hahaha.

Basically, Friend A liked this girl. I told him to keep her to himself, but he didn't listen. So me and this girl become friends, but I can tell she doesn't like Friend A. So one night, me, Friend A, Friend B, Friend C, this girl and another girl all hangout at my place and get drunk. There was a lot of things going on, and this girl ends up making out in my bathroom with Friend C. Whatever, they were drunk.

Last weekend I had off Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Everyone knows by now that she doesn't like Friend A, even he knows that. This girl tells me she actually thinks she might like Friend B, and somehow or another me and this girl endup having intercourse after she telles me this. The next day she tells Friend B that she doesn't like him because she doesn't really know him that well and she doesn't really want a relationship at the moment. He agrees. So the other day me, Friend B & C go out get some drinks and I endup telling them what happened. No big deal, we all reacted as all guys would. A+.

So basically everyone knows except Friend A, who originally liked this girl and introduced her to us all. Now I don't have feelings for this girl at all, just friends. No one does except Friend A. So tonight everyone is coming over again for another night of drinking, and I have no idea what's going to happen.