3 an odd song

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by saunderitos, Jul 25, 2005.

  1. #1
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    I wrote this song from inspiration of the recent terrrorist attacks on London.


    Start with a small rumbling, growing louder then and explosion


    What’s going on??
    Terrorist bomb??
    Something’s wrong
    People stare
    Its mister Blair
    He doesn’t care
    Condolences seen on TV
    He doesn’t give a damn about me
    Why he’s careless I don’t see


    People have died
    For which I have cried
    They should have survived
    Said I’m sorry to everyone
    They think I do it for fun
    I do care they lost their son
    In streets people stare
    Just because I’m Mister Blair
    really I do care


    People will die in my name
    Give my comrades fame
    People burning in my flame
    I do it for my pulsing hate
    I do have stable mental state
    Kill these men I cannot wait
    This all makes sense to me
    Make my religion free!
    If not, pay the fee.



    I wrote this song to include three points of view,the first,is the victim

    The second is Mr.Blair and the third is the terrorist

    I am trying to help people see that they cannot see and/or understand the reasons behind others action.The world is not perfect.Things will go wrong,however we must live with it,and try not to find fault in everything.

    I hope you enjoy this song,and that it helps you understand the many points of view in this vast earth
     
  2. #2
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    sorry but i don't like it :(

    i think you can do much better than this :thumbsup:
     
  3. #3
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    :) thanks for being honest

    i find i cant always trust everyones "its good" comments,i dont think everyone could like my writing
     
  4. #4
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Sorry but this is just bad :lol:


    Your other work is far supierior to this B)
     
  5. #5
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    It's ok but you should put more work into it.
     
  6. #6
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    frankly..it's very flat, but i love the way you've been very diplomatic and given equal power to the view points of the three categories of people who have been effected...now, that's hard to do!... it's more a prose-poem...a very ood attempt though! ^_^
     
  7. #7
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    thanks for your input guys,i wrote it more as a way to help people see different points of view,rather than lyrical greatness ^^

    but thanks again :)
     
  8. #8
    JohnnyB

    JohnnyB Well-Known Member

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    I like it. Lyrically, its far from genious, but you really got your point across. So kudos for that.
     
  9. #9
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    thanks :chemist: :chemist: :chemist:
     
  10. #10
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    I have to agree, i havn't seen anything completely amazing by you but your writing has been quite good, but this i have to say it was a flop, it felt like some very ametuer rapper was singing it in my head to words off the top of their head, i didn't feel any passion from it, as freakolp said, it was very flat,

    Hey but not everything you write is going to be great, i'm sure your next piece will be better. Don't give up because of this. ;)
     
  11. #11
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    i thought this last bit has potential. but other than that, i have to agree with the others.

    however, it's very brave of you to right about something so sensitive and i think you should try again with this subject matter.

    if it's written in the right way, it can become a very powerful piece of writing.

    keep at it cause i can see potential in you to be a real fab writer!
     
  12. #12
    Glenn

    Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

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    mmmmm kudos. :p
     
  13. #13
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    what the heck is kudos ^^

    and thankyou for input guys
     
  14. #14
    bennylp

    bennylp Guest




    Hell, its better than anything i could write :unsure:
     

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