An open letter to my father.

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Rachel, Mar 27, 2008.

  1. #1
    Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

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    I need all of your opinions on if I should send this to my father.

    Note: I'm a bisexual liberal Pagan, and my father is a conservative Jehovah's Witness. That might put things into perspective for you in regards to this letter.

     
  2. #2
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    That's so amazingly deep...

    I literally felt emotional when I was reading that.

    I wish I could write a letter to my father telling him exactly how I feel, unfortunatly I don't know where the fuck he is.
     
  3. #3
    Omar

    Omar Administrator LPA Super Member

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    While I appreciate your openness, keep in mind that anyone, anywhere can read this. You may not want such personal information out there.

    But in regards to your question, I don't think you should send the letter. If your mother knows (and is comfortable), have her act as a mediary between you two. If she's hesitant, remind her that it's her responsibility as a mother. I think a face to face talk will be much more productive.

    The other thing is to wait it out. All parents love their children -- it's pre-programmed within them. It may take some time, but he'll soften up as you both get older. If he doesn't, then you obviously don't need him in your life.

    I really hope things work out for you :)
     
  4. #4
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    That's...

    Wow. I'm tearing up.

    I think you should send it. Sometimes, words on paper can act stronger than words in person. Even though that also works vice versa, something like this seems best written as a letter. I can see why Omar thinks you shouldn't and I partially agree with him. However, you seemed to put a lot into this. You should send it.

    I also really, really hope that things work out for you.
     
  5. #5
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    It's 4:00 AM here, and I don't know you, so I'm terribly sorry if this is an inadequate reply, but I wanted to say something to this.


    I think it's incredibly brave. And honest, and lucid, and you've said everything you could possibly say. From what I've read- well, this- you need this. You need to tell your father this. The fact that it's been eating you enough to sit, write this, compose this, feel so much while writing this. It's the fact that it's a bit of who you are, and you clearly don't want to hide it. So, what's the point in keeping it bottled up further?

    It'll be tough, I know. And the reaction may not be the ideal one. It may even being a counter productive reaction from your father. No story has a garunteed happy ending.

    But, well. You won't be truly comfortable with yourself, until you send him. Atleast it'll be all out. And then, you can help it all get sorted out.

    I'm sorry if this is incoherent or doesn't make sense. I hope whatever happens, it's for the best :hug:
     
  6. #6
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Hum.


    That's a very emotional letter, I hope everything goes fine.


    On the other hand, I'm saddened to know that you feel you have to write a letter like this and that different beliefs can come between family members.



    I really do hope everything works out well :)
     
  7. #7
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    ...

    I don't know what to say.

    I just really want to let you know:

    I'm wishing you the very best of wishes. And I'd also like to let you know:

    What you wrote is actually even going to stick with ME...it's...amazing...in a very saddening, painful and yet uplifting way.

    :hug:
     
  8. #8
    Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

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    Thank you everyone so much.

    I think I will send it. I'm not afraid of what he's going to say anymore. this is who I am and if he doesn't like it, he can shove it.
     
  9. #9
    John

    John LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    yes!, you shouldn't be afraid, dear. You are who you are and anyone can't change it.
     
  10. #10
    Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

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    As I type this, my letter is in the mail.

    Yes, I snail mailed that letter. It'll give me time to be at peace with my admission before the father decides to berate me.
     
  11. #11
    Iain

    Iain i am a sloth LPA Super Member

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    I sincerely wish you the best of luck Rachel, and I hope your father will learn to accept you for who you are.
     
  12. #12
    Andrea

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

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    I admire what you wrote. I'm sure that took a lot of guts and courage to pour your heart and soul like that out to him. Stay strong and best of luck!

    Let us know what happens. <3
     
  13. #13
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    It was VERY emotional and I sincerely hope that everything will come to work out between you two.
     
  14. #14
    Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

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    I'm not expecting any miracles, but I thank you all for the support :)

    I'm not asking to change his mind, I'm just asking to accept that this is who I am. If he doesn't disown me, it's all good :lol:
     
  15. #15
    Messy Marj

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    I think you're very brave Rachel! I hope he reacts understanding and will accept you the way you are. When I read the first half I was wondering if it would maybe be better to hide it since you're with Jay anyway (like I'm doing with my parents lol), but I can see you really really want to tell him, so I wish you good luck! :)
     
  16. #16
    Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

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    So I told my mother about the letter this morning.

    "Why would you go and do that? You're setting yourself up for an argument"
    *5 minutes later after telling her how I feel*
    "You know what Rach? I am. So I understand how you feel, and I know you want to get married and have kids, and I'm happy with Doug and it's fine. I'm happy that you want him to find out by you, not by your Myspace. You're an adult now, and I think you should have done it in an email, but I understand that you don't want to be updating Yahoo every 3 seconds to see if he replied. Just don't expect him to be suddenly changed. I love you."

    <3

    So the madre is supportive, and will probably run as a buffer zone for the both of us.
     
  17. #17
    aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Rachel, like everyone here has said, that is a brilliantly written letter and it is awfully brave of you.

    However, somehow I fear that using words like "embarrassed" may hurt him. As in, if he does (hopefully not) attack you with arguments, that may give him extra reasons to do so.


    But, I think it's best that you did what you did. And even though it may hurt him, things will surely turn up in the long run. He'll be happy that you told him.

    Your mother seems very understanding, and it's amazing that you have such a support. It seems that she will stand by you through whatever, including this. So you don't have to fear. You have her, and you have us.
     
  18. #18
    John

    John LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Let us know what happens, best of luck to you.
     
  19. #19
    Janie Jones

    Janie Jones Meghna is a Headcase

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    I'm glad you decided to send it. Best of luck.
     
  20. #20
    Nick

    Nick Great Job! LPA Super VIP

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    Wow, that is a REALLY good and informative letter.I can tell you put a lot of thought into it.

    It's good your being yourself and not worrying about his response, rather making sure he knows about things just because.

    Keep us updated.
     

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