I didn't think suicide right away, just to make it clear. <3 I'm sure people around him picked up on his grief. Even Mike spoke about it. But I knew chester loved Chris very much. And we all know Chester felt with his whole being. They got extremely close really fast. He was godfather of one of Chris' children. They have had the same struggles with addiction and they held each other above water in that department. That, and I had this ugly feeling that just wouldn't leave. You know, when someone you care about deeply is hurt or in trouble, you just feel it in your gut. It was that same feeling of worry and "I really hope he's ok" and "Chester is strong, stop thinking like that". Then I thought about Chris yet again. He was on the top of the world. He was in a good place. But yet, he couldn't bear life any longer. I always thought that Chris was the one of the great rock frontmen we got to keep, a success story among all the tragedy in the music world we've seen lately. So when he died, I thought that if he, of all people passed away... It could be anyone. And then I thought of Chester again. I hate myself for it, I have always believed in him, but the thought wouldn't leave my mind. One of the many reasons for me thinking lik this is because, as I said, many of my family's losses the last five years were sudden and many. We never knew when it would happen, it just kept happening, so therefore we prepared for the worst and loved fiercely. And I just had that same feeling. Life is precious, but so unpredicatble, and tragedy can happen any moment. I know it's depressing to write, I'm sorry, but it's just how I feel, and I couldn't hold it in any longer.