I need to learn this too. Why is it so hard to just not read some articles or any stuff online bout him. Same with the police call, someone tagged me and I instantly thought - no it's a bad idea to listen to that - what did I do? I listened to it. I felt so away after it. Couldn't feel the ground under my feet. It was days ago and it's not the first thing that comes to my mind but it's still there in a corner of my head. The whole situation still is so crazy and fucked up you know? It's been over a week now and I somehow thought - in a week it will be better - but it's still so freaking hard that I'm having to try my hardest to hold back tears as I write this. I just don't want to think at all but my mind's a fucking machine since Chester left- it can't stop and yeah maybe sometimes the pain in my chest - you're all feeling this as well and I already thought I was crazy 'cause I'm really feeling it physically - gets lighter but than somehow comes back as hard as at the beginning. Life is so crazy. Going forward and going back .