Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

Discussion in 'Chester Bennington' started by Kevin, Jul 24, 2017.

  1. Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    Hey Lynn. Slowly slowly getting there I think. So much music I can't yet listen to but I am starting to want to at last. Hope today was a better day for you
     
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  2. Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    I think it's great how we have all pulled together and supported each other but wish the circumstances were so very different
     
  3. Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    We are here for you. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. xxxx
     
  4. BreakingTheHeartbeat

    BreakingTheHeartbeat Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose

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    @Doridorica, all my condolences!!!


    I feel a little better today. It's the first day I managed to not think to Chester all the day and when what happened to him comes to my mind it's no more as if the new of his death hit me for the first time. It's hard yes but last week I had the stupid feeling that maybe something was wrong, maybe he was still with us. Now I know... and I am starting to accept the fact and trying to fix on good memories and telling me he at least dosen't suffer anymore.
    But listening to some songs is still realy hard for me as I always have the feeling he is screaming his pain and asking for help... and I feel so powerless ...

    Despite the fact it gets better, the hard times of last week increased my anxiety and have trouble sleeping. Still asking me if I am going to a therapist or not ... A part of me still wants to escape and get better but another part remains indifferent to the fact that I am I dead or alive.


    And you ? How was your day? Hope it gets a little better everyday for everyone here !
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2017
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  5. Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God Nets 2021 LPA Super VIP

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    Please don't feel guilty, there's no blame to be put on you. We all react differently to each person's passing. And sometimes it doesn't come to us right away or at the moment we think it should. Give yourself time and be strong pls. All my condolence stories to you and your family
     
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  6. Janni_LP

    Janni_LP Member

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    The best thing for me i to talk, especially with other fans, either physically or online. Some days I feel like I've accepted the truth, still feeling the void he has left, but some days I just have these waves of sadness.

    I wrote an open letter to him at one of the memorials. I wasn't able to attend because of work, but someone from our wonderful Linkin Park family was able to print it out and place it at a memorial in London. It gave me a lot of relief and peace to know I had been a part of it in some capacity.

    Dearest Chester,

    Where do I begin? Since that awful day, I've been coping by expressing myself through writing about the intensity of my grief, about you, and what you have given me for 16 years of my life. I’ve written about depression and coping with devastating loss. I realized that I could write a novel, and it would never be enough. I’ve lost many people close to me in recent years, many of them too sudden and too soon. The pain was exactly the same when you left; I lost a dear friend. This all too familiar emptiness is unmistakable. The heart doesn’t lie.

    I’ve been through all stages of grief; from straight on denial, to fits of anger and bouts of violent sobbing. I’ve gone from feeling nothing to being hit with reality and feeling everything at once. Once I finally acknowledged the loss, I decided I would focus on the things about you that made and still makes me happy. The first thing I remember about meeting you was your luminous presence. You always shun like the sun.

    I'm happy you got to be such an all important part of my life. I’m happy about the people I’ve met because of you. I'm happy I got to meet you. I'm beyond happy, that you remembered me the second time we met. I'm happy about the astounding amount of love and support in the Linkin Park family during this difficult time. I'm happy thinking back on the countless times you’ve kept me above water during the darkest periods of my life. Most of all, I’m happy and thankful that I can still feel your presence when listening to your voice. But it still hurts. It hurts so,so badly, and I know it will for a long time. The pain is still raw, but somehow I’m glad I feel it so intensely.

    Words cannot express my gratitude. I firmly believe you made me a better person, daughter, sister and friend. You will always be an inspiration to me; in being honest about who I am, what I’m feeling and in pursuing my dreams. I can never thank you enough. Rest in peace, angel. “The sun will set for you”.

    All my love,
    - Janni

     
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  7. AndreyKamensky

    AndreyKamensky hakuna matata

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    To each one his own pace. It's ok to still be broken about it if you are. I still cry when I hear OML and it brings me back to that horrible day...
    My condolences. I hope you're ok and can be there for your Mum.
     
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  8. AndreyKamensky

    AndreyKamensky hakuna matata

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    That's good to hear! even if it's a small improvement. I can relate to most of the things you described, and as hard as it is I try to keep in mind that he's probably in a better place now, Celebrating with his friend Chris. And part of him will always live in us. So we need to carry on for him and for us of course.
    I hope that with each day it'll get better for you, whether you go to a therapist or not. But don't be indifferent! you should be happy you're alive - you can only go forward from here. And we're all here for you!
     
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  9. Blake

    Blake Leave a Trace LPA Super Member

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    Hello guys, I just wanted to share a playlist I just made. Chester's death was the second major death that broke me down to levels that nothing else has before. Back in 2012 was the first tragic death in my life and I made a similar playlist but it was way smaller and had some songs that didnt even fit the subject matter at hand and were songs I just enjoyed listening to at the time. When it comes to sad events and tragedies in our lives we often find solace in listening to sad songs about life's struggles. A few days before Chester's death I actually got this idea inside of my head that I should make a Spotify playlist about death. At the time I thought nothing of it but now I see it as a foreshadowing with the voices inside of my head telling me that "You are going to need this soon." Because of work and other things I never got around to making the playlist when the idea came to my head and then boom, Chester's death (RIP [​IMG]). So today I decided I would finally make that playlist. The playlist ended up pretty lengthy. I share this with you guys so that maybe you guys can find new music or revisit old music that can help you during this tragedy or tragedies in the future.

    I don't know how many of you listen to a lot of different genres but I listen to all the genres. The playlist ended up mainly various forms of Rock music but it also includes Country, Rap, and Pop.

    If you guys do check it out, I hope you enjoy it [​IMG]:)

    I should also note a fair chunk of these songs are Suicide songs and I think can be used to help people with such thoughts.

    https://open.spotify.com/user/123591090/playlist/1fnREEvQloTw82XVtKOPtZ
     
  10. Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    So true @Carla I wish we would have met without this happening.

    I also wrote a letter (3 pages) to him and placed it there when I was at the memorial last weekend. Going there helped me a lot I guess, you're all right for telling me to go. I'm still sad everyday and when I think longer the feeling in my chest comes back too but I'm better at pushing it away and thinking or doing positive thoughts and things. However. This will last for a long time for he was just my angel even tho he was still here. You can't just lose your savior and then move on like nothing ever happened. But we'll get closer to our wellbeing again. Together it's not impossible. We'll heal.
     
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  11. Masha

    Masha New Member

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    I feel you. I really do.
    Like I felt better, but the next day boom! it started again.
    When I found out that something happened (my sister told me) I immidiately went on Twitter. And there was this picture. And I was like "Why does this tweet has so many likes and retweets?". Then I checked the replies and found that Chester is dead. My first thought "Oh, he got hit by a car or something". Cause, as I said, I never thought he was in that much pain. Then I saw the reply that said that he committed suicide. I just couldn't believe it. I still don't.
    I dm'ed someone really lovely and they said to think about all the good memories I have of him. Which I do, and it's really helpful. But at first I was like "I don't wannta do that! I want him to be alive!"
     
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  12. Amanda

    Amanda RIP Chester LPA Super VIP

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    I'm having a hard day today. I thought the memorial would bring me some kind of closure but it hasn't. At least not in the way I hoped it would.
    I finally sat down and watched the Talking to Myself video. Can't even believe it was released the same day...
    I don't even know what I'm feeling at this point.
     
  13. Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    I don't really get the point why I felt pretty ok two or three days ago but today I feel like having a pretty big relapse. I lit a candle because it's two weeks today but I don't feel really good. As always when I think it's getting better it gets worse.
     
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  14. Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    @Lynn that's so beautifully put I'm glad you went to a memorial and it helped you
     
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  15. Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    I feel it too @Lynn. Spent a good part of the day crying and distracted by thoughts of Chester and his family and friends. I thought about everyone here too and hoped you were all ok today
     
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  16. Joh

    Joh Active Member

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    I so do wish the circumstances were different :(
    For some strange reasons if I am feeling so down with Chester passing my brain comes up with "hey, let's see if we can do anything better in the future". Let's at least take this situation now and go connect more to people, donate for suicide prevention, call an old friend and see how they are doing and tell another artist how you appreciate their work.

    But at the same time...

    ... if I am okay and good my brain pops up with "the reminder of everything" and it hits me again.

    But I am okay with that being the process...

    Just currently not being able to listen to their songs - except "heavy".
     
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  17. BreakingTheHeartbeat

    BreakingTheHeartbeat Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose

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    Thank you for your words!!! It means a lot to me!
    It's hard not to feel indifferent because everytime I feel a little better it's even worse just after like I don't deserve to be happy, like I'm doomed to failure. I fight... and I fall down just faster.
    It's totally unfair what happened to Chester. I have the feeling sometimes everything seems to be against some people and the kinder and the more sensitive they are the worse it seems. Why? It seems like my mind just tries to protect / save itself by feeling nothing at all... Just let it go, it's better than pain...
    But thanks to you on this forum the part of me who still wants to fight is trying to take more place now.
    It's weird how, in real life, I haven't managed to open my heart like that with anyone ... Behind a screen, everyone seems more open and people share and show their feeling even if they don't know each other. I find it very sad how people are hypocrite and indiffrent to others in real life... But I think everyone has the feeling inside to be more and more lonely... and the lonelier they feel the least they open to others. I know I may be like that too but I find sad the world which is so individually focused leaves everyone more isolated!

    Totally can relate to this point!
    It's weird how in one hand I need their music and his voice so much and how on the other hand it hurts when I listen to the songs now.
     
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  18. brady

    brady I am the LPA LPA Super Member

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    Went to Hershey Park yesterday with my girlfriend. It really sucked seeing the stadium sitting there empty. It was just a reminder that I didn't get to see them live, and that Chester is gone forever.
     
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  19. Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    @BreakingTheHeartbeat so true... I could listen to two songs today and then I had to stop cause it just hurts too much. This fact makes me so sad cause I love them so much but can't stand it at the moment. They always helped me but now I can't find anything in their songs except pain and loss. Hope this will get better too.
    @Carla thank you for your kind words, always. I hoped everyone will be better today as well... I feel like Thursdays will forever be sad. It's still so unreal, tho I saw the death certificate today on the internet...
     
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  20. Sonic

    Sonic Searching for the last Chaos Emerald... LPA Super Member

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    :(

    With that, you don't live far from me.
     

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