Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

Discussion in 'Chester Bennington' started by Kevin, Jul 24, 2017.

  1. #41
    K. Nolen

    K. Nolen Member

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    To hell with the people who say"get over it". No one has the right to tell anyone how to mourn or how to feel about losing someone who means so much. He means a lot to SO MANY PEOPLE, who are absolutely crushed and lost. You aren't alone. Tell those people to say that to the millions of others who are in feeling the exact same as you. Whatever you do, don't harm yourself. Honor Chester by living. By beating this demon. Do it for him.
     
  2. #42
    Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    Yes Mostly when I wake up in the morning or go to sleep
     
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  3. #43
    Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    All if the time
     
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  4. #44
    Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    I feel you so much... I got mental illness too and I'm struggling so much not to hurt myself again when it gets really hard. I've been over it but these times I just dunno. Feel like crying everyday and I just want to feel nothing but I also don't want to forget and keep reading everything I can get in my hands ..
     
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  5. #45
    Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    I
    I battle all day every day to win this war. It's hard and LP/Chester helped, but now so painful to listen to them. In Chester's memory I will continue to fight and have spoken out to ask for help (again).
     
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  6. #46
    Deepti Prasad

    Deepti Prasad Member

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    Yes barush. It happens to me as well. This morning I woke up with faint in my head. The two hours of sleep I got was filled with Chester's voice and I ended up waking up with Faint going on in my head. And then i go through the same emotions, with the same intensity as when I first found out about his death.
     
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  7. #47
    Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    Coming from someone who used to hurt themselves, adding pain to pain will not take the hurt away. It might seem like you need to match the pain that you're feeling mentally with physical pain, but by doing that, you are going to be hurting twice as much. It took me a long time to understand that. Please, do not hurt yourself. If you feel like you are going to, I highly encourage you to take your mind off of it if you can or find someone that you can talk to until you are calmed back down. It is absolutely not worth hurting yourself and I can guarantee you that is the last thing that Chester would want.
     
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  8. #48
    Sinead

    Sinead New Member

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    Thank you for sharing your very brace
     
  9. #49
    barush

    barush Active Member

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    I'm sorry you guys are going through the same thing, but at the same time I'm glad I'm not the only one <3 I've been okay for the past hour or so, but now I'm crying again. Wonder if it'll ever stop.
     
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  10. #50
    Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    It will stop. Day by day we will heal together. We are all united by this as we were united by Linkin Park as a whole. Chester would want us all to remember him happy. You tube has great videos of them being funny, I stopped crying for a few minutes and even laughed. ´┐╝hugs to all suffering :hug:
     
  11. #51
    dreamerpoet

    dreamerpoet Well-Known Member

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    I'm fighting like hell to keep my head above water. I feel so lost, this is already a hard MONTH for me due to dates associated with those who I have loved and lost, literally every week. Adding to this, one of those dates is coming up in two days, and literally the only thing that kept me from spiraling so low into depression I couldn't come back was LP, and listening to Shadow of the Day on repeat for weeks.... and I'm not ready to listen yet. I keep reminding myself I'm still here, and I'm still breathing but this has cut right to the core. No one else really gets it......
     
  12. #52
    Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    We get it. Everyone here gets it. I share your pain and wish I could help you to relieve some of it. You are still here. Contract with yourself (or me if you want) to hang in there for a day at a time. Talk, it helps
     
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  13. #53
    dreamerpoet

    dreamerpoet Well-Known Member

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    You're right, talking helps. It helped just to type all that up and get it off my chest. It helps to be around others who knows what this pain is like......it's just one hour at a time and sometimes one minute at a time right now, but right now I'm gonna put one foot forward even though it's just a baby step.
     
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  14. #54
    Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    Spoken like a true soldier. Step by step. We need to learn to crawl before we walk and this is the same. We need to grieve before we heal. Keep in touch and stay safe
     
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  15. #55
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    Of course! Glad I can be helpful. Reach out at any time. Here for you!

    It's really great to hear stories about how people got into the group - and for how long people have been a fan! It reminds us all why we're here at the LPA and in other fan communities. I'm sorry to hear about the rough upbringing you've had - I cannot say that I have that experience, and I can only imagine how difficult that time must have been for you. Linkin Park definitely has helped a lot of people through very trying circumstances, and I'm glad they did so for you.

    And I think you speak to what so many people are feeling: the loss of a role model, someone we looked up to, admired, respected - which is incredibly painful and devastating. No one can ever expect or prepare for loss, so I can understand why you feel the way you do. That is normal - but it is important that we focus our attention onto the positive impact that Chester and Linkin Park had, and appreciate what Chester did for us when he was alive.

    It is typically a knowledge gap. If you don't have that experience or that knowledge, either, it's impossible to empathize - which can explain why people who claim that suicide is a selfish act cannot express empathy for those folks. They neither know or understand that pain and suffering, and the ordeal and trauma of mental illness, and thus can't relate to it or empathize with it. It's important to speak up for those folks and to eliminate the harmful stigmas around mental illness, depression, and suicide. No one just decides to die and does so without thinking about the ones they love, right? Such a decision isn't so simple, and we don't do justice or fairness to those people by pretending that it is.

    Logic and reason are good ways to process trauma, but know that talking to people and accepting grief are valuable ways to handle trauma too. In a situation like suicide, we can't rationalize that. We'll never have a reason, and even if we did, it'd never satisfy us. Suicide is not a rational decision and far, far more complicated than most of us can ever understand. So, thinking it out will not get you anywhere - it will always trouble you. The best thing you can do is to grieve and accept that it happened, and do everything you can to help those who need it. This awareness and empowerment is what saves lives.

    We hear you, @Slash Stradlin. We are all feeling terrible, and this thread is indicative of the worry and concern we have for this community at this time. We are here to help, to at least be of some comfort. No one should ever have to feel that suicide is the only way out - so we hope that talking about this openly and processing our grief openly will help raise awareness around it, while the same time helping out this community.

    I think we can all agree with so much of what you've said, @K. Nolen! Chester was a voice for all of us - someone who we could turn to in times of anguish and sorrow. And no, what you've said doesn't sound stupid. Like I've said before, it is completely understandable why we loved him so much. He was a role model, a man worthy of our admiration, and someone who we felt was a friend. Grieving so much over his loss is not stupid - it is human.

    I can empathize with what you're feeling about his music. I think many of us are now facing a very difficult test in listening to Linkin Park, in that lyrics we now related to have now taken on a posthumous, depressed, and perhaps suicidal hue. Things we related to now sound like his cries for help, and while I think this change in perspective is natural following his death, it can be incredibly difficult for us as listeners to listen to and process. In time, you will still be able to enjoy the music for what it was, but understandably it sounds and feels different now. So, if any of you are feeling particularly emotional listening to this group and Chester's lyrics now, just know you're not alone there either.

    I appreciate your willingness to share the trials and tribulations you've experienced - Chester's death brings to light some of our own darkest hours and times. I hope that you have and can continue to overcome those demons, and ask that you seek help every time you need it. However, I hope you continue to give Linkin Park's music a chance to bring you joy. Yes, it will always be bittersweet for every fan, but do not let Chester's death permanently take away what his music always gave. Its impact on you and everyone else cannot be taken away, so do not lose faith in the music.

    I'm glad that this experience has revitalized your passion to help others who may be feeling this way, and remind everyone that if you are experiencing depression or any suicidal thoughts, or know anyone who is, please seek help.

    Thanks for sharing, my friend.

    Like I said before, @Carla, it's understandable to feel this way. Don't listen to people who tell you to get over it. Chester meant something to you, as he did to all of us, so it's okay to feel this way. Do not let your grief overcome your strength. Remember what helped you overcome drugs and alcohol in the first place, and channel that energy. If you are depressed and have felt the need to self-harm, please seek help (which it sounds like you are). As @Hybrid said, this only doubles your pain, when really you are seeking to abolish it. I hope that you get the help and support you need, and remember the strength you channeled to overcome this in the past. If you've done it before, you can do it again. We believe in you and have faith in you, and want what is best for you.

    All the time, @barush. I can very much relate. This comes in waves.

    Please see what @Hybrid and I have written about this. You are not alone in your suffering, but hurting yourself physically only amplifies the pain instead of abolishing it. Please seek professional help and reach out to people who can help and support you. We are here for you, and only want what's best for you. If there is someone close to you that can help you find help and support, please seek them out. We love you, and please know that this gets better.

    Agreed, absolutely.

    It will. Grief is a process, and you have to let it run its due course. Understand and embrace your grief, and you will overcome and accept. I promise.
     
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  16. #56
    Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God Nets 2021 LPA Super VIP

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    Shouts out to Louis for his effort in this thread
     
  17. #57
    K. Nolen

    K. Nolen Member

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    I totally get it. ....
    My thoughts on the tragic suicide of my favorite musician... Please forgive the grammar and punctuation.

    His lyrics speak for so many of us who have struggled with addiction, trauma, mental illness, and issues that we face and suffer from, and spend a lifetime fighting to overcome...To me, he was kind of the representative for the struggling, pained, angry, lost but GOOD souls who are REACHING SO DESPERATELY and needing something to hold onto... LPs MUSIC WAS THAT SOMETHING...(for me anyways.) He was the the voice for so many of us who needed an outlet and just needed to blast and scream to the world how we feel,so everyone could hear...And actually kind of be proud of it just cause it sounded so fucking awesome coming out. He was able to internalize and express what we try to find the words for, and execute the expression of those words with beautiful avengeance. His songs were the anthems for so many of us...., so many of us, whatever we are.


    .....HEART BREAKING to see the man who was my voice, in which I admired and loved for being so amazing it was inconceivable...The man that I saw in concert twice and was looking forward to seeing many more times to come. The man that gave me goosebumps as I watched on stage in awe as my eyes filled with tears of joy and other feelings I can't describe.. While simultaniously belting out his songs, LPs songs, the songs that LP created, but they were my songs too. The songs of my life. The man that I admired for screaming these feelings that I had, (that I was made to feel were stupid, silly, shameful and weak feelings) so loudly and beautifully..... The man that I could turn to and would press the"play" button and listened to for hours a day, and could depend on to give me that comfort in connecting with and singing along with.....Even though he didn't know I exsist, I loved him so much and appreciated this service. I loved him as much as a person could love someone they never met. (As stupid as that sounds...)

    THAT MAN......, whom I so much admired and looked up to, has surccumbed to that VERY SAME pain us fans endure, yet turn to HIS music to help us get through. I use to feel empowered by LPs music and now I feel dispair. Thoughts and images of what Chester was enduring and what he was feeling keep possessing my mind, Just like the thoughts that possessed his. Only because I have been there many times where he was at that moment mentally. Just one level above his in severity. But so close, right there, surrounded by the terrifying evil, the devil, the darkness. Terrified that this demon will never fucking leave me lone. Feeling like there is only one way to escape. With the bottle in my hand emptier with each swallow. The liquid perfectly representing my care, my desire to live, my faith, my life,........ My time left. This tragedy is the toughest hit possible for me when it comes to "celebrities"...He was my all time favorite.... He was SO MUCH more than that to me. And to find out he was battling and fighting the same battle that I do and lost, Its like a part of me died too. But I thank him for the music. I thank him for the courage he had to put these feelings out in the world. BUT the music will never give me the joy it use to.....EVER AGAIN. I will try to remain grateful for the feelings the music once gave me and for being blessed enough to actually be so fortunate to see Chester Bennington in concert not only once, but twice. I will try my best to hold on to those memories....
    .. Here is a true statement that I once said at a Linkin Park concert,...... "this is the only time I have ever felt at "home", I wish this would never end."....

    I love you forever Chester Bennington No one will ever be anything like you EVER. I will continue fighting and will never give up. I vow to put to rest and forbid entertaining the thought of suicide ever again. And I forbid suicide from ever being possibility for my fate ever again, In your honor and in the honor of all the others battling this mental illness, abused, traumatized, addiction stricken, suicidal epidemic hell we are living in. For the ones who are still fighting, for the ones who once did, and or the ones who have lost the fight.
     
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  18. #58
    YoMarques

    YoMarques Linkin Park Soldier. LPUer.

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    Thank you so much for doing all of this, you guys are the best :')
    The worst of it all for me is knowing that the band, Chester, were the biggest help in keeping me going... The thought of never ever having that again makes me panic, makes me want to end it all... I'm sorry if this sounds selfish...
     
  19. #59
    TobinKnowsBest

    TobinKnowsBest 20.03.1976 - 20.07.2017 LPA VIP

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    You do still have it my friend. Those songs, those messages that you depended on will never ever go away, you will always have them.

    Not only do you have those songs, but you have us. Your panic and your thoughts are only natural but ending it all is not the way to go. After all, that's what caused all this pain in the first place. Time heals all wounds and if you stick with us, I promise you things will get better
     
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  20. #60
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    @YoMarques - You are not alone. So many people really relied on this band and their music to get through some very trying times. It is hard to reconcile with the reality that Linkin Park, as we've known them for so long, is no more - but their music, spirit, and impact lives on. You will never lose that music and what it meant to you. And this band doesn't seem intent on being done as musicians forever - time will tell what they choose to do.

    First, I want to say that thinking that way is not selfish. It is natural to feel scared and to feel panicked when you feel like you've lost a support system. Losing someone who meant so much to you can make you feel that way.

    Second, and more importantly, I really hope you choose not to end it all. Chester would not want that, and none of us want that. We know how tough this is and will continue to be, and we are all suffering through it together. We promise, this gets better. We've all lost someone great in Chester, but it is through us, our spirit, our never-ending drive to persevere in the face of darkness, that his memory lives on.

    If you are thinking about ending your life - first, I implore you not to, because this world is better with you in it than without you. Second, I implore you to find help. Talk to someone you love about how you are feeling, and ask to receive help. There are people far more qualified than me who can really help you through. There are ways to deal with and abolish pain, grief and suffering that do not involve taking your own life. There is so much happiness, so much love, and so much more this world has to offer that we ask you not to give up on.

    So please, talk to somebody. We love you and want you here, and we know that if you get the help you need, things will get better. We promise.

    And as always, we are here for you. I extend to you the offer to message me privately to talk, should you want that.
     
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