Djinni's Resolve. (Or How to Destroy Dreams.)

Rules are simple. One poster makes a wish, the next can either grant the wish perfectly, or grant a modified version of the wish that has a really horrible result. Labeled "Granted" or "Destroyed"

Ex.

First poster: I wish TimeSpree and Xero2.0 were in the shoutbox for maximum hilarity.
Second poster: Wish granted. The shoutbox has gone on to become legendary and is included in school history books for generations.

I wish I had a new hat.

Third person: Destroyed: You receive a new hat but attract a flock of hipsters who decide to stalk you.

So let's play.
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I wish I had a PS4.

 

Destroyed: You will receive a PS4 but the hardrive will only have 2GB and the only game you can play is Knack.


I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.

 

Destroyed: You receive a giant mutated sentient Oscar Meyer Wiener Monster which consumes you on a giant bun.

I wish I weren't so forgetful.

 

Destroyed: You never forget things and the mistakes from your past haunt you forever and drive you to insanity.

I wish winter was over and there wouldn't be any snow.

 

Destroyed. You now have eternal summer. #firenation

I wish things get better.

 

Wish granted. I decide to grant the wish instead of being an asshole.

I wish I'd been an asshole.

 

Wish granted. You were an asshole and as a result Filip becomes a hobo selling tacky nick nacks in cold streets of Russia to KGB agents looking for cheap presents for their grandmothers.

I wish I could travel the world.

 

Wish destroyed. You travel the world but your last stop is North Korea and you're stranded.

 

No wish then?

 

I wish my college life would be great.

 

Granted; There will be good grades, LSD and awkward sexual experiences a plenty!

I wish to see more concerts this year.

 

Destroyed. You'll see many more concerts this year. Concerts by these bands:

Nickelback
Red
Avenged Sevenfold
Hollywood Undead
Black Veil Brides
Skillet
Limp Bizkit
Bon Jovi
Disturbed [Courtesy of your post in the "Least Favourite Bands" thread]



I wish I had the guts to talk to the girl I like.

 

Destroyed. You have the literal guts to talk to her now. She is horrified.

I wish I was The Doctor's companion.

 

Destroyed. You become a nurse.

I wish tomorrow is a good day.

 

Destroyed. It will be a good day... For the commies!

I wish my food would get here already.

 

^How do you know I'm not a commie

Destroyed. You get one of these foods.


I wish (or is it hope?) they find MH370. (Come on, you can't destroy this!)

 

Damn it! Is it set in stone?

 

So it shall be for the rest of your days!

Granted, It turns out they just saw a yard sale.

I wish to reach total enlightenment.

 

Wish destroyed. You are enlightened by way of being caught on fire.

 

lol gotta make your wish homie.

I wish Netflix would get caught up on Doctor Who.