More of the latter, but I grew up a Presbyterian and was "schooled" as one for 14+ years of my life. And you can argue what a Christian should or shouldn't do, but that doesn't change the fact that the latter takes place. I was replying specifically to the one situation brought up by the other member. You can debate with her if you wish upon the finer points of whatever brand of Christianity you see as right. At the end of the day, it will most likely come down to "that's just what I believe." You're allowed to do that with religion. You can escape any sort of fallacy by claiming it your individual belief. Your own version of Christianity that suits you. Many do this. You may not see it in the right, but it takes place. You could bring up verses to counter anything anyone thought that contradicted your own belief, but the truth is, they could bring up a verse from Leviticus asking why you don't sell your daughter into slavery, or some other irrelevant or trite phrase from the mass of text. That's ultimately what it boils down to. Your "Christianity" is not the exact same as everyone elses "Christianity." You may agree on key cornerstones of the faith, but when it gets down to the most minute particulars, people tend to pick out what they want to hear from scripture, and what they want to hear from their pastor, and apply it to their lives to suit themselves. You are no different. Of course, what you see as your belief is right. You obviously wouldn't believe it if it were wrong in your mind (save if you were involved in some Oceaniac culture). The same can be applied to everyone else.