I posted this last night but the issue this morning deleted it. I wrote this last night after watching Sin City with my friends. Every main character has an inner monologue, so on the way home, I started thinking of things. Not about me now, about me in the future. I doubt any of this will be true but it's what I have done so far. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm sitting at the bar, drinking what must be my tenth glass of Jack. At least it feels like it. Been this way for months. If it's a Saturday night, the guys know where to find me. But tonight they were out. Out with the girls. Why didn't I join them? Simple answer. Didn't feel up to it. Maybe it was the jealousy, who knows. Jealous that they found the right girls. Heh, or maybe just random girls. But I missed out. Missed out on the one girl who ever gave a God damn about me. I know I could've let it go, but I didn't. I wonder what she's doing now? Probably with her boyfriend of this month. That dark angel. The demon that tortured me. I can still remember her like it was yesterday. I never forgot her. Hair as black as a crow, yet a face as white as milk. She had that smile......the smile that could melt me. A smile I haven't seen face to face in three years. Awful long time to hold onto someone. Never had that problem before. There was the first two, but those memories faded. Maybe I drank them away, who knows? Doesn't matter now. Glass number eleven? Feels like it. This shit begins to taste like candy to me. It doesn't even burn. Christ. They put on the country music again. The music of pain, that's all I say. Who's this girl sitting next to me? Nice legs from what I can see. I won't look up. No need to. Stare at the glass man, stare at the glass. That's all you do. Then I bet you'll get up in an hour and walk to your car. Then what? Go home? Yeah, what's there for you besides a tv and an empty bed? Hmm. Bed's sounding pretty good right now. Ah well, the night's young. The time? Damn, 2:35 in the morning. I have work tomorrow don't I? Shit. Yeah I do. Stuck in this job for over four years now. How pathetic. Just waiting for that call. Please let them call. Then it'll all be over. I pray for this job. Something new, something I want. 'Dj'ing this club? I'd love to,' I said. It's been three weeks. No call. Bastards.... Maybe that's enough for the drinks. I pay my tab, and walk to the car. I can't even figure out which key is which. Can I drive? Yeah, why not. Good! Right key. There's that girl again. Who is she? Why does she keep following me? Why is she getting closer? Familiar look to her. It's dark, I'm drunk. Who can tell? Hair looks red to me. Dark red. That's dyed. Why is she getting in my car? Fuck it. Let her. I'm just going home, she can do whatever then. She's talking, I'm not listening. I won't even say a word. It's a five minute drive home, I can do it. Straight shot the whole way. Home sweet home. Apartment 205. Small, but who needs something big? Pretty pointless if you ask me. The girl is following me in now. I ask her name, she won't answer. What's the big deal? Tell me your name! Whatever, I need to drink something else. Where's the water? I go back into my room, there she is. Sitting there, staring at me. I haven't even turned the lights on, but I know she's staring. I can hear her breath. It's shaky, like she's crying. I sit next to her and glare at the dark figure in front of me. The light from the passing cars outside isn't enough to show me her face. I drink some more of that water before I start putting it together. I'm sobering up now. It's been a good hour since the last drink. I get up and flick on the small lamp next to my bed. I turn and it's her. That demon. After three years of nothing, she sits before me. Words can't even touch my lips. I choke back the pain. Don't let her see it man, do not let her. She's out of your life now, keep her out! You wanted this. You hated it but you knew it was right. Just walk out. Don't stay there, she's only going to say something that will make you weak again. Just. Leave. So I do. I get out of that apartment quicker than anything I've ever done. I know she's following me. I get outside. It's raining. Guess I was too numb to feel it before. As soaked as I am, I run. Where am I running? Doesn't matter. Just go. I reach the corner of the street. I look back to see her standing there, hand over her face. Be strong. Don't let her see it. She broke you once. Don't let her see it. Shes coming closer. I've run out of road. Nothing left to do now. Guess I have to face her. Shit.
It's really really interesting, and very different. I don't know how to describe it, but it has a mysterious, almost abstract feel to it, which I mean in a positive manner. I also really like the internal thoughts. Nice writing Nate!
Hey Nate, I didn't know you wrote. It's really powerful. Very different from most things I've read..I like the sense of narration (I think that's a word?). I'd love to see where this is going.
Grr to the hackers. My comment is gone and I don't know what I said so I'll just go with "This is fucking amazing, you're a genius writer."
Ooh lovely use of a first person narrative, Nate. I haven't seen a good thought progression story in a while. Nicely done. =]