Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I find Tom's lack of sideburns disturbing.

 

I was just reading a couple of posts back and I finally read this, I'm glad I didn't miss it.

I just wanted to say that I don't find what you do strange in the least. I think it's awesome that you had such strength to admit such a thing, and I really am proud of you. <3 I think that even though you think down on yourself, that this proves how great and strong a person you truly are. Everyone gets to a rough point in their lives, and whatever makes you happy, makes you happy and I would never think of you any differently. I think that goes the same for mostly everyone on LPA as well. I hope you realize sooner or later that you are an attractive person, inside and out. But that's for you to find out yourself I guess.

So until then, If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you if you need anything. I know alot of people must've said that already, but ah well. I mean it, seriously. I'm done blabbing now though I guess, haha.

 

@Todd: Your story gave me laugh, but in a good way.

Actually, I was bullied alot in elementary school because of my shyness. Plus, there were the many common factors such as getting glasses in Kindergarden, my short height, and voice. I'm also not agressive, so despite my parents telling me to take some kind of action to fight back, I'd just sit back and won't do anything. So, it was really easy for anybody to take advantage of me.

Well...it particuarly started with a girl who was supposedly my "friend" from Kindergarden to 2nd grade. Plus she was my "only" friend because I didn't have the courage to speak to anybody else. At first, it started with simply playing around at snack time. However, I noticed she would always throw blocks at me and hit my hand with this wooden truck. Then she started to make me do favors and would always tell on me for things she did. Around 1st grade, it started to get worse. She would always steal my snack, lunch, or ice cream money everyday, while threatening me to beat me up or not be my friend anymore if I didn't. I sort of became her personal lackey or slave in a sense too. My parents would constantly confront her, but it didn't do anything. (I dunno why they didn't tell the principal)

Oh gosh, I think it was the worse in 2nd grade. That's when she started to actually beat me up. There was just this one certain way in the morning though, it went like:

1. Take off my school shoes and throw them to the fence
2. Swing me around by the arm
3. Throw me onto the ground
4. Repeat steps 2-3

Now, consider that this was all on a concrete playground in the winter.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE FUCK I ALLOWED HER TO DO THAT TO ME.
Sorry....anyways, she actually did leave my school by 3rd grade, to my luck. However, that doesn't mean this would all leave me easily. Around 6th grade, some 7th grade girls started to tease me (indrectly) about my low voice. Another issue was a girl on my bus who would verbally harrass me every day. For both, I acutally stood up for myself and went straight to the principal, since...I wasn't going to take this kind of bullshit anymore. I felt quite proud of myself, because those people now respect me for who I am.

Rest assured, this kind of stuff isn't happening to me in high school now. I've learned from my past and will be very thoughtful of my surroundings. (although I am still a soft spoken person, but not as much as before) Apparently I have a very good reputation and am well known, but I haven't realized it up until now. Plus, it's with both teachers and students despite me not being the smartest or most academically recognized student out there. Word also got out among my teachers that I'm good at art, so now they actually wait on me to see what I do in Color and Design class. It sucks because I'm not that great in that certain class and it gives me pressure. (wtf I'm in a class mixed in with AP Art/Art History and girls who had prior art lessons at Art colleges, there's no competition there XD)

 

Okay, turn of events, I don't want her anymore. It is odd how you can feel someone is so amazing and they turn out to be...not at all.

 

Friskey, you have my absolute and utmost respect for saying what you said. I think that boosting your confidence can only be a good thing, and you're doing it in a perfectly healthy way. *hugs* Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

My best mates dad died today.

Shit...

 

Fuck, I so regret any hard feelings I held towards her.

I'm really worried about her now.


====

Damn HARLZ, that's terrible. I feel for you mate, I do.

 

I'm very sorry to hear that.

 

I like him. I think I like him ALOT.

And he likes me too.


BUT IT"S TOO COMPLICATED.
HE WENT OUT WITH MY BESTFRIEND. HE KISSED HER. MANY TIMES.

I hate him, but I love him.


It's killing my brain.

 

I hope you guys are ok and that you can help eachother through this terrible time

 

I have the same sentiments.

I understand, my friend's father was shot dead a few months ago.


:/

 

I'd like to confess something aswel..

Im actually extremely hot

Nah, I used to be a shy guy with the ladies and stuff but since I had a girlfriend, the one I used to be madly in love with, brought me alot of confidence and made me feel good and stuff. So now I have a girlfriend again sometimes I just really dont care what happens around me That sounds REALLY rude and cruel, but I dont care if I get bad grades and if I do I just think "Ahwell, atleast I have a girlfriend" and thats just bad

At first when I got this new girlfriend I liked her, but not as a girlfriend. Just as a friend yknow. But thank god I really like her right now. Im also in a class with 20 girls, and 2 guys, and in our whole section there are 130 girls and 7 guys So its hard to keep my mind focused on the fact that I have a girlfriend. Watching is okay and talking is fine, but Im not going to do anything with them. Cheating is a big no no.

This is just more like a big random thought than a confess, and its not really a confess anymore Just some random talking, hey random thoughts. Well, I DID won the Most Random Member award.

Im now coming off as a really smooth dude like Dave, but no one beats Dave. Fact. Im still a tiny little shy but its not as bad as it used to be. Im not afraid to make fun of myself and thats always a plus. Im actually always the one who makes sarcastic comments to everyone about how they look, or what they are. Racial jokes, and you cant tell me you've never done that. In fact, I hate racists people and I have no problem with people who have a different color (yeah, way to put that Chris) but.. sometimes the jokes are funneh

So to talk about my girlfriend right now, her name is Marissa, 18 years old and we're together for 5 months and 12 months. "Why the hell would he remmeber that?" you will ask, well, its because its in my MSN name so I wont forget it Im really happy with her, but like I said before in a couple pages back before Kevin had to confess so bad (jk man, jk ) things arent going so well. We arent seeing each other as much as we would like to because she has to work so damn hard. She's babysitter for 1/2 days, works in a restaurant for 4 days and has to study for her exams.. A couple months back she didnt babysit worked 3 days a week, so I was fine with that. But now I hardly see her, maybe once a week. So a couple weeks, maybe 2 weeks, she called me (or I called her, i dont know) and we talked a bit about us and she said that we should better break up and be really good friends. I said to hell with that, just because we dont see eachother that often doesnt mean that we should break up. I said that we'll be fine and I'll try to see you as much as I can. The idiot that I am, I was looking for a solution for the problem, she is the one who needs to find a solution. Its not my fault she works 5/6 days a week. I dont need to suffer under her work situation. Thats just bullshit.

A couple days ago we had a little argument about my other ex, the one I slept with and then I never saw her again. Yes, big time player lol. Nah, I still talk to her and we're still friends. But anywho, she got a little mad about it because I didnt have safe sex with her. It was pretty stupid of me and I totally regret everything about what I did back then. So then I said to her that Im going to stop by next week, when she has time for me, so that we could everything out. About my ex, about us, about everything thats bothering is and we'll see what happens. Im looking forward to it, with a happy and sad face. Maybe things will be alright and she'll cut down the work, or nothing happens and it stays the way it is. And I dont think I'll have the balls at that moment to tell her that she could shove her work up her ass because Im not dealing with that shit. It'll probably end up the way it is now and we'll still have a relationship. I dont wanna lose her, because she's just really great and I love her to death.

So I think thats about it.. Hope it makes sense lol.

 

I can't believe she walked up to my friend, said Hi, then saw me and walked away without saying another word.

I didn't do anything wrong, she has no right to treat me like that.