Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Todd, Apr 2, 2007.
I have never been this afraid in my entire life. I'm so afraid that I've been sick and just down right out of touch. My girlfriend might be pregnant. I'm only 17, she's only 16, and I can't afford to have a baby yet. I never wanted one, but no, I had to not think. The first time she had sex, she didn't let me use a condom because she was on birth control and said she hates condoms, she was like, no condom or no sex basically. We've done it so many times without one, I know birth control is effective, but I'm starting to get scared because she is supposed to get her period this week and she hasn't yet. I want her to get a pregnancy test, but I'm so afraid of the results. I don't know what to do, this isn't all my fault, it's her's too for not letting me use a condom. I'm all for an abortion too, if she is indeed pregnant, her on the other hand, I have no clue. I wish there was a way out of this, but there isn't. I'm a fuck up, I hate myself.
Don't hate yourself. She's only 16 years old, when you're around that age your hormones are everywhere so the period might still come. She needs to take a test though, just in case. And please ask her opinion about abortion, and respect it because I know alot of girls who are against it, like me. Don't freak out, but take responsibility for your actions.
How is it all my fault? It takes two, and she was the one that refused for me to wear a condom.
Did you see me typing 'it's all your fault'? No. All I'm saying is that you're a part of this and you shouldn't freak out. Just go and talk to your girlfriend and tell her to take a test.
Always been, man... xD
Not to sound like a dick or anything, but you two asked for it by not using a condom. With or without birth control.
Who cares if she likes it more without it, I'm sure it wouldn't have been worth it if you end up with a kid at 17. It's just plain stupid not to take all the necessary actions to prevent it that you can.
Whatever dude. I guess I learn from my mistakes.
Guys, let's not be too harsh on him. What Fear is going through right now, as I would probably imagine, is an extremely difficult time.
I hope for you and your girlfriend's sake that she isn't pregnant. Like everyone said, precautions need to be made with pre-marital sex, but we all make mistakes. Hopefully the birth control was enough, but, there's still a chance that she may be pregnant. As others have advised, have her take a pregnancy test. Take several of them. If she doesn't end up pregnant, good, but be careful in the future and do not make the same mistake. If she is, consider your options, and the best of luck to you both.
But, I can't help but think: Is she really worth it if she won't let you take the right precautions, if she won't let you proceed with what might be best for your relationship? These things need to be mutual. If a relationship isn't mutual, it is bound to fail, and even worse, end up in your situation or other similar situations (such as a sexually transmitted disease). Consider this.
Otherwise, I hope that it all works out for you two.
Why are people bashing him? If the girl is actually on birth control then they are being somewhat responsible. But I guess it is a matter of trust here regarding his girlfriend...
So FEAR, I would say calm down dude. Take a breath. First off, you said shes on birth control correct? Has she missed any of her pills? Is she on antibiotics or having diarrhea? No you don't need to answer all those questions on here, just think about them. Now if the answers to the last 2 questions are NO, you are probably in the clear. I say PROBABLY because the pill is over 99% effective, but yeah, there is that small probability of failure. So assuming she has been taking it correctly and she has been on it for a while now (you shouldn't be having sex the first 2 weeks or so taking it I believe)...the statistics are in your favor. A delayed period can result from a lot of things like stress and change in a girls diet.
Now as the others said, she should get a pregnancy test asap. Make sure she takes one in the morning. Take a few if you want. Thats the best way to be sure dude. If she does turn out to be pregnant you should seek a family planning center near you...they are completely confidential and they'll discuss your options with you as well as help you out. Good luck man.
Like I said, I wasn't trying to be a dick, but there's only so many ways you can say something.
"I'd rather be safe than sorry" comes to mind in this situation. Whether or not she is on birth control shouldn't matter. A condom is a very responsible and simple means to better ensure something like this doesn't happen. He isn't fully to blame and neither is she, but they shouldn't have had sex if one of them wasn't willing to take the necessary measures to make sure that they are very well protected.
My girlfriend is on birth control but there is no way I would have sex with her without a condom, because there is no way in hell I could afford to risk having a kid right now. Now, I do hope that she isn't pregnant and everything works out because no one is ready for a kid at that age and that would be terrible.
its not as though it works anyway
Look it's a serious matter.
No one was bashing him or saying that it's all his fault. It's true that it takes two people but if you're willing to sacrifice something that you hate "wearing" then you should consider the fact that it has many consequences- such as babies!
Dude, I'm not going to say that you should have thought about it because what's done is done and you have to think about the future. Plus she's my age and trust me as Marj even said periods have an imbalance; they may come now or after many days! Just get her tested and don't rely on the "no-periods-shit-she's-pregnant" method.
Abortion is hard and sweetheart, even if it's bad on you it's probably worse on her. Console her and get her opinion on the whole matter aswell as on abortion. If she's willing to keep the baby (if you guys DO have one) then support her. DON'T back out. Right now is when she needs you the most.
Condoms do work. Not 100% of the time but 90% of the time, if you know how to use one.
Using a condom and birth control together is a very effective method to prevent pregnancy.
To be honest, me and Maxime don't use condoms, I'm on birthcontrol and that's it. We've been together for over 2 years and I still have no baby lol.
It's still no garantie that you will never get pregnant that way...
It's ok when you know each other after all that time, but you still have to be careful.
People, why wouldn't you use a condom? It's not just to prevent getting pregnant...
I can't believe people are actually arguing about this. Go look up the numbers, aids and other diseases are spreading like crazy and people die because they don't use a condom. Don't be stupid.
Maxime doesn't have any diseases, nor have I. <.<
Unless it's a girlfriend/wife, I don't care if a woman says she's on the pill... I'm still wearing a fucking condom. The last thing I need to have is a kid... or syphilis.
I don't think anyone is debating that using a condom with birth control is the 100% effective method. However, I think when two people actually know each other for a while and trust each other it is not irresponsible to make the mutual decision of not wearing a condom while a girl is on birth control. Birth control is over 99% effective in preventing pregnancy...and that small percentage of failure could have been due to incorrect usage or usage during episodes of diarrhea/antibiotic use.
But yes, I do agree with you all...if you are hooking up with someone you just met or don't really know that well, wearing a condom could save your life. I was under the impression fear had been dating this girl for a while...Best of luck.
Separate names with a comma.