Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I agree with the rest Arlene. There are times where you'll have doubts, but you'll see you won't have this much trouble anymore if you're longer in the relationship. These things happen. I'm sure it's nothing.

 

I agree with everyone else. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, Arlene.
Just a little paranoia.

==

I wonder when all of this stuff with my family is going to blow over (drug abuse, bad health... the usual). I'm trying to get my shit together with school and a job, but I'm so stressed out all the time that I can't seem to get things moving. I think I need to spend less time looking for a support system and more time worrying about my own well being. I'm not going to get help from anyone, so why should I hope for it?

 

First off, I apologize for my ranting again. Technically, this is the last straw with this "man".

The stalker coach I talked about has been acting so much of an asshole lately to my friend and I. He's exactly the kind of person I don't want to associate myself with. You see, my friend and I sometimes take turns in which of our parents would pick us up from games. The policy is that the coach has to wait until each player leaves the place, but since we end games around 6pm, it can get frustrating. Also, I wasn't really supposed the join the team because my parents had a hard time picking me up last year. Since my friend joined, she assisted me this whole season.

First time:
The game ended somewhat later than usual. It was my friend's mom who was going to pick us up and we were the last ones waiting there. Her mom called earlier saying she'd be there in 2 minutes. My coach comes over and we explain the situation, so he leaves us to go to his car to drop something off. However, her mom calls back saying that she got detoured and ends up a town relatively far from the gamesite. (I find that understandable, considering the detour itself, additional traffic, and it already being nighttime and hard to see...)

My coach comes back again and she tells him about the detour. He simply replies that it's ridiculous and thinks my friend is lying to him despite the fact that it really did happen to her mom. So they pretty much blabber on, fighting for a few minutes until they come to the conclusion of letting my coach talk to her mom directly. They talk and he tries to act all funny saying: "Oh guess what?! She'll be here in 2 minutes!" Finally, he leaves which left us cursing him off in every way the second he walked out the door.

Although it may not seem bad from the way I wrote it, it was much more frustrating. I was involved indirectly because it was a night before one of our exams, so he goes to me: "Hey...*waves at me 3 times, but I didn't notice him from watching an LP video on my ipod*...don't you have an English midterm tomorrow? Aren't you going to study?" I indicated at him that I had a review sheet in my purse, but shrugged after. He does the same to my friend, but he does in a more forceful way, literally slapping the paper onto her lap before leaving us. Thing is: What right does he have in order to tell us when to study or not? He's not our father, not our guardian, nor do we actually have him as our teacher in school this year.

Second time:
A similar event happened today. However, you can say that it became more aggrivating. When some team members don't have a ride from the site, you go back to school and get picked up there. So...since he wanted to go home soon, he rushes my friend's mom to actually get there or else we have to return to school in 5 minutes. Now, my friend and I basically live a town away, not far whatsoever. What I thought: "Would it hurt to just be a little more patient and wait an extra few minutes for our ride to arrive? Heck, why don't you just leave?" I even explained to him directly what I thought and he still didn't listen. Then I called my mom on the brink of tears that I screamed angrily in front of everybody. She even volunteered to pick us up herself. They talk and my mom yelled at him on the phone too, thank goodness, but he fought back. His reason for not leaving us that it is policy and it's a responsibility.

We understand that, but you're just being impatient and unlogical. So, you want us to go back to school and tell her mom just as she arrives at the gamesite to turn all the way around and follow us to school? (which is about 40 minutes away while the gamesite is about 5 minutes away from our homes) Sheesh, the f-ing bus passed our actual HOUSES. We could have just been dropped off right then and there. He just made things 10x more complicated than it was.

All in all, he likes to manipulate and control me. I'm not very assertive, very shy, and introverted. I'm a girl and I still look like a child sometimes. Now, that makes me a perfect target for people like him and he knows that I can't talk back no matter what, which is why he has an advantage. My friend protects me and he knows that he can't do much when she's there. However, when my friend gets in trouble and she's not with me, he redirects the punishment to me because I'm her friend. There was this other time where he was joking around with her on the week's schedule of games, and basically used me as a re-enforcement for his statement. I didn't reply at first, but he gave me this look and said it with a scary tone...as if he we about to abuse me if I didn't agree. It's no fair. Plus, he was so mad with my friend today that he banned her from coming to the state finals tomorrow, more in the way: "Do me a favor, don't even come tomorrow. I don't want to see you anymore."

 

Kev, Marj, Tim, thanks you guys too. Seeing what other people think does help. Plus, I was just talking to him, and he was indeed driving up to Syracuse, he's just getting there, and he has his phone so I don't have to worry about that. I just need to not think sometimes, . I tend to overthink things and make myself panic. It's stupid. Oh well. But thanks a lot guys, really.

Tim: I think you need to focus on yourself and what you need to do for you. If you ever need to talk 'bout anything, I'm always around.

Moniku, that guy sounds like an ass hole. Not really sure what to tell ya besides...he's...a dick. And don't let him take advantage of you or your friend. Learn to assert yourself, especially to an ass hole like him. Good luck with the situation.

 

I think I should quit while I'm ahead. It's getting ridiculous and it's probably not worth it.

And Arlene, I really would worry about it, like the others said. I would continue on, but then I'd just be repeating what everyone else said. Yous needs to gets on AIM sometimes, btw.

 

I would assume that you meant "wouldn't"?

And I am...sometimes. I should be around tomorrow night and on Sunday for part of the day. I wanna know how things have been going!!

 

Yea, I mean't wouldn't. I'm not with it.

 

Qwerty10: True he is.

Thing is...he's also a history teacher in our school and authority above us. If we were to really get in trouble with him, he'd tell the school that we might end up getting in trouble with administration or get detention, suspended, expelled, or whatever. Another thing, if we were to have him as a teacher, I know he will give us hell in class. I'm pretty sure my friend won't have him, but I'm kind of scared because he teaches that advanced classes...I'm already afraid of what will happen when we see each other at school.

 

Arlene, I wouldn't normally be so blatant, but I think you're worrying over nothing.

Not to put you down, I know how easy it is to get paranoid.

 

Harlz: Nah, doesn't put me down. I'm just paranoid I guess. Maybe it's because I know that he's 4 hours away and I'm not seeing him til next Sunday...*sigh*. Thanks for the reassurance. <3

 

To be honest, I was going to mention your paranoia might stem from the fact you're not going to get to see him this weekend, but I wasn't sure how often you got to see him in the first place.

I know exactly how you're feeling, because my first girlfriend moved almost an hour and a half away from me about two months into our relationship, and I was paranoid about it all the time.

What you're feeling is completely normal, but like I said before, you shouldn't put too much thought into it, because it's probably nothing. <3

 

Thanks Will, really.
We normally see each other every Sunday, 'cause that's the day he gets off of work. Sometimes he has to work so I'll go a week without seeing him, but that hasn't been often recently. He lives an hour away from me, so there's always a bit of a commute, but I always talk to him and whatnot, so we're closer than ever. But I definitley think that you're right about the paranoia being mainly because I'm not seeing him this weekend, also because he's just under 4 hours away from me.

I'm trying not to think about it too much, because if it IS nothing, and I let it eat me up inside, it'll drive me crazy and I'll end up sabotaging our relationship, which I really can't afford to do, because I really can't imagine myself without him. That would be a very, very bad thing.

But I know he's being genuine when he tells me that he loves me, and that he really misses me and everything, so I just need to stop thinking that he has devious plans....

[/endramble] Again, thanks Will. <3

 

Love problems suck don't they?

 

Yeah, terribly.

 

@Arlene: Thanks for the nice words.

I know where you're coming from with the paranoia thing. I have a tendency
to read too much into things as well. Sometimes you just have to try not to worry so much. If you're anything like me, though, that might be hard to
do.

 

Okay, I recently moved (again), and I'm not normally good at meeting mew people, because, contrary to popular belief, I'm really shy around people I don't know. If you don't talk to me first, chances are, you're not gonna get a word outta me. But surprisingly, I've actually been able to talk to some people around here, and make a few friends. Most of the people in this neighborhood are black or hispanic, and even though I have no problems with other races, I do have a problem with people trying to "convert me to ghetto."

Since the first day I met my neighbor, she's been trying to get me to change my shoes, slouch when I walk, talk like I'm stupid, etc. I have no problem with people poking fun at me occasionally, because I poke fun at everyone, including me. However, I hate having to explain why I do everything. For instance, when I bought my last pair of tennis shoes, I bought orange laces, because I love orange. Now, every time I turn around, I'm being told to change my laces, because it's stupid and makes me look "uncool." I have no problem with that, I get that a lot. However, I also like to do my hair into mohawks, as you've seen. That, coupled with my distaste for baggy jeans that make me look like I'm packing a load of shit, has translated into several homophobic remarks. That hurts, especially when you just met someone. I don't want to have to explain myself to everyone. I'm more into the rock culture, they're more into the black culture. It's that simple. I shouldn't have to explain why it's that way, should I? I shouldn't have to defend my style of dress, or my speech, or my posture, or even my education, should I?

This whole thing is really making me question whether or not I should even be around these people, because at times, it makes me feel highly insecure. One can only blow stuff off so much.

 

If people don't accept you for who you are then why wasting your time on them?
I understand you want to meet new people, but if they don't understand why you're not like them then I don't think they ever will.

 

Yeah, so far today I haven't thought about it. Waiting for him to gimme a call, he said he'd give me a call around 2:45 or 3, so I should hear from him soon. I feel bad for doubting him. And it does sound like we're very similar in that way. Thanks, Tim.

Violet: I agree with Marj. I understand that you want to meet new people and make friends and stuff but...if they don't accept you for who you are, what's the point, right? Good luck hun.

 

first, I was just giving it a little bit to see if they'd eventually accept me as I was. But they didn't, so I started telling them that I'm me, and they should accept that. Most of them didn't. I don't think I'm going to associate with them, and they get to firgure out why.

 

You'll meet others.