Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Todd, Apr 2, 2007.
Don't do anything bad to yourself, dear.
I'm stranded up at school and find out that my aunt is dilated for her labor some more, and now that my mom is engaged.
I hate being so far away
Aaah, I know exactly what you mean. Being far away from home really sucks. When will you see your family again?
when my aunt has her baby.
Oh, but that's really fast.
That's not a guarenteed trip home though. I'm assuming that Jay will be able to pick me up. He'll have some excuse as to why he can't though. It's my luck.
And you know what? You're wrong.
I can't stand this anymore. I can't do anything right according to them, no matter what I do. I love them, but I can't take being around them anymore.
Why does NOTHING ever work for me? Does God really hate me THAT much?
Sometimes, it's too much...
Post of the year!!! i feel the same, i was just about to post this. damn u read my mind
Something tells me its not unique to us.
It happens all the time
I generally don't like people.
People including I.
Ugh, Why It be sunday.
Thank you guys for this great evening. Watching planes fly over you while eating pizza is fun!
My parents just had a go at me for my eating habits.
Skipping meals, eating unhealthily when I do eat, skewed sleep patterns = skewed eating patterns and being underweight.
Is there anything I can't do wrong? -.-
You've got to admit, that's not a good thing. You should try straightening that out. You'll feel a lot better.
Yeah, I know it's not exactly a good thing to be doing. I mean, they have a reason to be worried.
It's just damn hard. I did do well today though.
Thanks for the concern.
It's not concern so much as it's fear of finding you wrapped around a tree because the wind caught you and carried you along for a ride.
I'm just kidding. My dad used to tell me that all the time.
Try to eat at the same time every day, and try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. It'll be really hard at first, but your body will get used to the schedule.
It worked for me for a while, until I sort of fell out of the schedule.
Yeah I'll definitely give that a go. The eating schedule I reckon I can stick to. The waking up probably not, since different college start times and work shifts mess it up. Plus, I like sleeping in like hell when I can.
I'm sorry I'm a shit friend. That's all I can give you. I'm selfish and self absorbed and anti social and if you call in the middle of the day when I'm messing about doing random things online and I don't feel like talking, it's just who I am. I don't want to open my mouth and be witty or insightful or smart or communicate or care. And I'm sorry you had a rough day, but I'm no fucking mind reader and maybe you should've just told me instead of fucking yelling at me when I can't tell and don't feel like talking. I'm sorry. I really am. But I don't feel like talking.
I know you listened to me when I was upset, and I know you listened to all my random bullshit and everytime I felt upset or whatever, but so did I. You insist I didn't, I can't convince you otherwise. You care more about me and my opinions than you should. I'm sorry. I can't help it if you feel this way about me. I can't be a better friend than this. This is who I am. I don't understand deeper emotions, I'm more interested in football than you, I won't understand why me making fun of you matters to you as much as i does, I'll be distracted and read football articles while you're on the phone, I won't fall at your fucking feet and beg for forgiveness if you get mad at every fucking thing I do or say.
You've been a good friend, but I'm sick of this. I'm sick of having some emotional overtly dramatic arguement everytime I talk to you. I'm sick of feeling emo and taking it out on friends or my livejournal and making myself look like some fucking emo sixteen year old girl who doesn't know how lucky she is for everything she has or is emo about stupid things she shouldn't be emo about. I'm sick of you attacking me all the time. I'm sick of you saying I'm being sarcastic when I say sorry, or ask you how I can make it up to you. I'm sick of you constantly calling me selfish, constantly bringing up old fights, holding grudges. Stop judging me for not having a life, stop judging me for not wanting to talk to people, stop praising me to high heavens one second and bringing me down like fuck the other, stop - just stop- insulting me and telling me how worthless I am. Please. Stop it. top talking to me. I just end up feeling like shit. And you know what fucking else? I'll go out with him if I want. I don't care what you think of him. Or if he's asked out everyone else, or whatever. Maybe this is what I need.
I'm sorry. This is who I am. Losing you will probably mean I'll have only one friend left or whatever, and I'm incapable of making more, usually. I couldn't care less. Atleast I'd stop being emo to people online who don't deserve my shit. Or being depressed and fucking apathetic and feeling like a total loser. I don't want your emotional baggage. Again, I'm a shit friend. I'm sorry. This is who I am. I can't help it. This whole year has been as tough for you as it has for me. Just because I get high marks doesn't mean it's been easy for me. I've had so many expectations shoved down my throat I could scream and cry, except I don't.
I'm probably never going to tell you this, because you'll never understand. And I'll probably keep talking to you and being bored and distracted or selfish or whatever and you'll keep yelling at me and shattering my confidence and ego and I'll be emo and drive all my other friends away. I don't know. Life goes on, I guess. I just needed to get this off my chest. Wish the relationship with my old home friends wasn't this awkward. Want to just go out with people, forget, and have a fun time.
Eh. Life goes on, I guess. Whatever.
EDIT: Wow. Long rant. Sorry for this, I just came out here and I'm spewing all my shit already. And I'm sorry for the excessive use of the word emo, I'm not anti- emo or anything, my poor vocabulary allows me to use no other word in it's place.
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