Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I know what you mean. Well, there's always msn if you want.

 

Yeah, I guess. I've always wanted to do something creative and I know myself, so I know I'll be doing something I like to do otherwise it just won't work. Still it's a pretty daring career choice and I don't know if I'm up for the challenge, definitely not in Belgium 'cause I'd actually do it if it were an American school...

@Dean: I'm okay, man, but thanks. It's hard to predict how everything will turn out, but I guess it'll be all okay.

 

I think one way of dealing with it is to not have any expectations.

 

Maybe, I like to have goals, though.

 

@St0f: i dont think goals is the big helping factor at themoment...though getting a part time job does help...some money plus outtime does help...i think





anyway, the end of my hols are coming soon and i only just fully recovered from a 100 day cold and dengue (fuck mosquitoes) and well i havent done anything vaguely interesting at all except somehow i find myself always heading to my ex's place and just sit outside the condo complex and just look at her room from a bench with a coffee in hand and just sit there and watch, though i know she aint coming out anytime soon (usually quite late when i find myself there)...well the problem is we've been broken up for about two years now, and i still cant get any sense of closure...i wonder why i cant just deal with it without getting any closure...

 

Fuck school. Fuck routine.

 

And If You Look At Your Reflection... Is That All You Want To Be?

 

Yeah, I'll be working this summer, but I'm not 18 yet so you can't work legally during the year here.

 

Yes, yes it is here


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Ok, so i said she could come over and so now I'm gonna have to brace myself for whatever happens

 

Yeah, I feel the same plus the situation with my mother. And her overprotection isn't the only problem between me and her, but I cannot tell the rest here cause it is very personal. But luckily, I have found the solution to end my anger and sadness: leave my mother and go to my aunt's in another city.

And yeah, I know someone here told me to be patient and that if I go, I'll hurt my mother; but the good thing is that I am usually numb: I mean, if someone close to me dies, I will not cry or show sadness. If my mother cries or kills herself because of me, I won't feel guilt/sadness.

But if my partners at school, who have a shitty life with alcohol, sex, drugs and cigarretes, die or if I see them with no clothes, in the streets and asking for money. I will feel something: happiness. I mean, if they continue with their shitty life, it is obvious that they deserve poverty.

 

Wow. I cannot help but think you are one of the most selfish and heartless persons I've ever seen.

 

Do you really believe that?

Poor partners...

 

Yes, my partners deserve poverty in their future, unless they realize the life they're living is not good, and that it will bring bad consequences. Maybe someday they'll regret drugs, promiscuous sex, and alcohol abuse, and change. I still have hopes for some of the guys/girls there.

 

I could easily say the same about you. You have no emotions whatsoever and as far as I read everything from you, you're full of hate against almost everyone.
Just open your mind a little, god.

 

I am not full of anger, I am just saying what is the best for the guys at my school if they wanna live a good life. And I don't hate everyone; In fact, I have some love songs I wanna write, based about my actual crush on a girl. Hey I am a human being, I can feel love and happiness.

 

I don't know. Maybe it's just that I'm Paranoid or Something.

But I just feel like somethings not right.... With Samantha of course. Maybe it's just that I think shes different or shes just...changing ( like growing up ).


Or i'm extreamly paranoid of her cheating.

+_+

 

Well then, I apoligise for calling you emotionless.
But who can tell what is a good life, seriously.

 

I'm scarred and a little pissed that the odds are stacked up against me in terms of having to get a regular job that I'm not happy with. I don't care that much about money, I just want to live a life where I hate something I do every day, but can't get out.

 

He's so selfish i came close to breaking his nose

 

I did that once...yeah, it almost caused a breakup at the time, but still.