Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Great. I have to go to court because of that bitch. She had no right to say that about Marie and I. I hope Marie's lawyers get her charged with criminal charges along with the insurance fruad that woman has committed. People like that really do make me sick. For a woman of Marie's age, I wouldn't expect her to cry. She cried and I felt helpless, that I couldn't do or say anything to make her better.

Both Marie and I are now accessories to insurance fruad because we know about it.

Since the breakup with my ex, I've been really afraid of courts and police, to the point where I have panic attacks.

 

Apparently I'm fat according to my own father. Great self-esteem booster.

 

Know the feeling, man.

 

Haha, I got excited because I just recently found out I had an astigmatism in the left eye, too.

 

trumps, i have one too, same eye

Does he wanna borrow my glasses??

 

I think I am probably the only guy in the world that wishes his girlfriend would want to call him at night and talk on and on for a while...

My girlfriend hates/is afraid of phone conversations, which started off as great because I never personally enjoy them, but now at this point, I kind of wish we did talk on the phone...

 

for someone thats in Germany (i'm back in singapore now) he sure knows how to cause a wankfest for me and thats over a million miles btw

 

I think I might actually have something here.

 

I'm so sad about my Poppy. He has Parkinson's disease, and from all of the medication he's just always...out of it. He used to be able to still talk to us and really acknowledge that we're there, but...he really can't anymore. It just started with hallucinations and occasionally falling down, but now it's just being somewhere else in his head and he can't even stand on his own.

Today we celebrated his 70th birthday, and I knew that he wouldn't really be able to acknowledge it and I didn't know that it was going to upset me until I sang the first line of "Happy Birthday" and I just started to cry. I was half happy half sad...because he did acknowledge it, sort of. He was smiling and tried to blow out the candles, but then I got so sad BECAUSE I was feeling happy that he could smile and half know that we're there. I wish he could still walk around like normal, and drive, and play that tune on his fiddle that we always used to dance to in the living room. I miss him. I don't even know if he knows who I am anymore. I miss my Poppy.

And on top of that, I found out that an old family friend died, and we weren't even informed of it...we found out by happening upon it in the paper. When I was growing up we used to go to Bluegrass festivals every summer, and Warren (the friend) would always be our buddy...it was always mine and my sisters job to paint his toenails bright blue for the BLUEgrass festival. He was so inspiring, in his music and how he tried to urge me to learn to play the fiddle like my Poppy, which I never did, but for a while I DID feel inspired by him. I mean...I haven't seen Warren in probably 4 or 5 years, but it's still really hard to believe that he's dead. We didn't even know he was sick...it just came out of nowhere. And then his wife didn't even think to let my gramma/us know? My poppy used to play in a band with Warren, camped with him for weeks, was a close family friend, and we didn't even know that he was sick at all. He was only like 58. That just...sucks. That sucks a lot.

How long will it be before someone closer to me is gone?

 

I am sorry Arlene.

 

Wow, what a day it was for you huh?

 

Arlene, hon, I'm so sorry to hear that. You know my email/inbox is always there if you want to talk.

 

I'm sorry to hear this hun. Chin up, I hope you feel better.

 

Thanks guys. Ugh. It's just hard to see, y'know? Slowly watching my Poppy deteriorate year by year, month by month, it's just hard.

 

I know what you mean. Everyone, at some point in their life, goes through something like this, and unfortunately more than once. You just have to stay strong and remember the good times you had with them.

 

the friends i trust my life to are talking shit about me and i don't know why.

 

Great, my the ache in my ear and jaw which i thought was an ear infection turns out to be mumps, the next symptom on the list to get is Orchitis (very painfull swelling of the testicles)

 

Yikes -- I'm really sorry to hear that Arlene. I know it's not easy watching a loved one go through something like that.