Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

My sister has swine flu and I'm pregnant. Great.

 

Okay, so the closeness with Callum and the comparitive lack of sex make sense now. But to be honest the reason for this probably hurts me more. Given what was said I think I handled it incredibly well.

And it seems Yoshi's practically infatuated with her. Which makes what's happened so far today that much worse. I'd wanted to take her to the movies for a bit over a week now, and she'd said on Monday how much she appreciates that and how I treat her and such. So we've got it organised for tonight, and to be honest I kind of wanted it to just be us two, it's been a while since we've had a "date" as such. And she contacts me today saying "Yoshi texted me saying him and his mate are going to be there too. They wanna join us, is that okay baby?" . Jesus, I give her so much freedom but I swear sometimes she takes the piss. A lot of the time it's like she doesn't even consider how some of the things she says and does hurt me like hell. *head fucking desk*

I mean, I'll readily admit that she's been through more than someone her age should have, and I can't even begin to imagine how things like her depression must affect her, but it's not right that they almost seem to be excuses for treating me like shit. Especially when I try so, so hard to help with it, biting my tongue when I should really stand up for myself, letting her do things which hurt me purely because I know they make her happy. I hate to say it but I can liken her to an emotional wrecking ball, and as melodramatic as this may sound, I don't know what I'm actually going to have left to give should we come to an end.


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Sarah, fuck, that's horrible. One of my friends is actually quarantined with it at the moment. Is your sister alright?

 

I echo what everyone else has said, as long as you realise what it might take. You obviously want it, and it doesn't seem as though she doesn't.

Daniel... I'd like to be able to say something to you, but I'm not sure what. I would suggest explaining some of it in conversation with her, but then you'd probably be treading a thin line. It could be the best way around this but it could also be really damagin.

 

Fuck. It might be all in my head, but I think things might be going to shit already...
The last four times we've been together she's barely kissed me, and her arms don't stay around me for more than a couple of seconds. I've gotten a totally random phone call from a mutual friend asking if things are going badly, because it didn't look good to her on Sunday night. And another friend overheard a bit of a conversation, and from that it seems like things aren't good...
I don't understand because a week and a half ago, things were absolutely perfect, more than I ever expected.


I don't know how I've managed to fuck things up already. Or maybe she's just come to her senses...

 

[BTW, Daniel, check your email.]

Who needs friends, anyway? Way to make me feel included, homes. She knew I love DD, and I loved them before her, and now she goes complaining about how there's no one to go with to the festival, without even telling me about it. And [other] she and I agreed to meet while we were both vacaying in the same city, she says she'll call/text, and she doesn't do it. While talking to other people a lot more often and a lot more involved. Way to go, friends, way to go.

 

My god I'm stuck. I know Max so well, I'm not even exagerrating if I say I know him as well as myself, and now the surprises are gone...nothing left to discover, and I'm bored. Incredibly bored.

 

Bored with Max, the relationship, or both? That doesn't bode well. ".

 

Bored with the relationship which automatically makes me bored with Max as well, I hate how mean that sounds!! It sounds horrible, but I feel the need to slut around, not sleep around but just, you know, snug up to other people. But if I think about Max doing to that other people I get jealous. I'm so hypocrite.

 

I really don't know what to say. Why don't you talk to Max a bit? Propose you do some new things together... go parachuting! For example.

 

Grrr. fuck off already. I won't be forgiving this time....

 

God dammit... She can't do anything Friday because her cousin from Georgia is in town and is being forced to spend time with her instead.

Great, I had a shitty last weekend, haven't done anything this week because I thought Friday was gonna be awesome and now this. Laaaame. I was really looking forward to hanging out with her.

I could make plans with someone else, but it's sad that I don't even want to..

 

tell you this.

It never hurts to just flirt around lightly with others.

it's good for you, especially when you do it "just for fun but not serious at all" kind of way.

 

Yeah, I do that all the time, Max too apparently, I only found out yesterday. But the thing is, normally it's all innocent flirting, but now both our mini crushes are getting pretty serious. I think it's because we're not doing well at all together and we're both trying to find some physical contact with others, pretty natural I suppose but it hurts like a motherfucker. My head is a whirlwind, what if we do break up? I'm gonna miss him so much!! When I look at him, I see myself, I have put so much into our relationship, I left my family for him, I moved to another country...Where will I be when we do break up..?

 

Have you guys ever thought about the possiblity of having an open relationship?

 

I asked him last night but he doesn't want to kiss more persons in one day. This year really sucks!

 

I don't really know what to say. I guess a short separation where you two see other people would be out of the question, since you guys live together--things could get awkward in that scenario.

I'm sorry you're having such a cruddy year.

 

It's what I've been worrying about...We both agreed that we love living together, but what if he gets a new gf and me a new bf? I know I'll scratch her eyes out.

Thanks hunnybumps

 

Hmm I can understand that. I don't know what to say...I really wish I could be of more help. I just hope things get better for you soon thouh Marj, you're a really nice person and don't deserve such a crummy situation.

 

Where you are now?


I dont know if you can, but if you planned to take yourself or himself on a vacation for like 2 weeks without him, like say you give him a ticket to some place somewhere for a few weeks and after a while, Im pretty sure that'd be the best thing you could do.