Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Yeah...thanks guys. I feel so sad and I can't stop crying

 

damn arlene! i feel really sorry for you because i can understand your situation to a certain extend. there is nothing to make that easier but i wish you the very best!

 

@ Arlene

Me: Lack of communication in any relationship really fucks things up as I've experienced in the past few days. Ben and I have been arguing with our housemate just to know that it was a complete misunderstanding and lack of communication. Doctor's appointment today. Then we had a lack of communication in Sydney between us two which led to a lot of anger and annoyance on both sides but we quickly resolved it. My mum likes Ben a lot and says he's got his head screwed on and that I've done the right thing about making long and short term goals. It's going to take some time getting used to I'm not used to having a partner who works a 10+ hour shift a day.

 

's to everyone. D:

Anyways:
"What am I to you, really? You're so damn confusing, you know.
Quite honestly, I'm still jealous whenever you talk about other girls or give them attention. But at least I'm not clingy like you and don't actually question your relationship with them personally. Don't start with the same shit with this one that you did with me, because you'll end up hurting her in the end too. Then you'll come to me crying over the fact you made another boo boo or are heartbroken. Um, hello? How do you think I felt back then and even now still?"

Yes, the same guy. Seriously, no matter how many times I tell him as a friend...he just doesn't listen. He actually always asks me before our phone conversations end out of true uneasiness, "Is something wrong?" However, I've always kept it in and said I'm either tired or fine. He doesn't deserve my tears. But it sucks because I really can't bring myself to hate or forget him. Not with the many times he talks with me every day. It really does.

 

Despite what she thinks, I will put him as the father on her birth certificate. I don't want to lie and I certainly don't want to put Ben as the father. I was brought up not to lie and if I do lie, as much as my mother would be happy to see a blank next to Mia's father's name, it's not going to happen. I don't give a hoot if he doesn't want to be in her life, it's his decision and not mine.

 

What the fuck was I doing then that I'm not doing now? What was it that kept me from being so bored and so depressed? I'm starting to stagnate again. Maybe next Monday will change that, I dunno.

 

I've never experienced this before... I love every second I'm with her, and I think she enjoys being around me too. Well I know she does, I just don't think her feelings are as strong as how I feel.

Ahhhh damn the HSC and the fact that I have to at least pretend to study, and I have to leave her alone so she can study... lol

 

I hate it when people who don't know crap about playing guitar try to tab songs and post them on public tab sites. It really makes me feel like I'm just wasting my time by putting days, sometimes WEEKS worth of work into transcribing a song.

 

Louis: Please feel free to send me a PM anytime! If you want I can give you my cell number to text or whatever.

--
So, I feel better. Much better. Better than I did before breaking up with him. I feel less stressed out, I'm not worrying about things like where he is, why he didn't call me, who he's with, when I'm going to see him next...I just feel so much lighter.

And Steve is great. On Tuesday I texted him saying "hey we should do something this week" and he said "Sounds great, how's Thursday?" What a concept! Being able to accept that easily and for that soon. He makes me feel important. I was never a priority with Josh. Ever. And Steve can so easily make time for me, he enjoys my company and texts or calls me all the time. It's so nice.
Plus he's just so damn cute. Last night we were out shopping for clothes and stuff, and he had turned all red in his neck and stuff and I asked if he was nervous or something and at first he said no, but then a little while later he was like "Okay, yeah, I'm really nervous around you," with a shy smile and everything. I feel so happy to have someone there for me who seems to really care about me more, and appreciate me tons more than Josh did.
I feel good.

 

This.

 

God Fucking Dammit.

I'm single.

She said she was still having dreams of her ex (the guy who used her and was her biggest love in her life) and couldn't give me what i deserved and needed, how she had to do it alone. I told her I would be there for her and running wasnt going to help but.. Nothing I could say would change her mind.

Fuck this fucking shit. I love her but that isn't good enough, it never has been. I guess we're done. I still love her but I need to move on. **Slaps myself in face.**

 

Nick: Ouch, I'm so sorry to hear that. I realized this past week that love ISN'T enough. It's getting you on the right path for a relationship, but it takes so much more than that. And if you're missing something in the relationship, like trust in my example, it just...doesn't work on love alone.
Although I do feel that she needs to get over it. Is that other guy still into her?

 

No, he lives hours away and has been dating a girl for a while now, TOLD her he could care less about her, and almost had a kid but it was a miscarriage.

So yeah, she just has problems moving on, letting people in. and says "What's the point if i'm going to leave in 2 years anyway? Why make ties and then cut them later?"

well that is life, dont just say whats the point.. Actually LIVE and accept change but experience more and more.

 

I used to be so happy. Like, bursting with joy type happy. Sure, I was sad/frustrated from time to time, but more often than not, I always had this kind of warm, happy feeling about myself.

Then, I turned 17, and everything went to hell. I've been depressed off and on since January, and I don't even know why. Maybe it's the realization that I'm actually almost an adult, with real responsibilities.

Today, I feel completely and totally empty, again. I've got a job interview on Monday, and I'm actually being productive. I should be happy right now, and I'm not. I can't explain it, and I don't want to. I just want to be happy.

 

So. Sore.

 

You'll get over it

 

I feel fat and bloated. Six months now. Three more months to go.

 

I'll see where it goes but all in all I'm pretty sure that love is a canibal.