So some time in the next couple of months, most likely in late February or early March, I'm going to be heading up to the Cleveland Clinic, one of the world's most-respected hospitals. The reason this is happening is because I'm going to be having a life-changing surgery. But before you start snickering and asking if you can have my penis in a jar, read ahead. I have a chest deformity known as Pectus excavatum, which is caused by excess cartilage around my sternum, causing the sternum to be turned inward. Because of this, my heart's turned at an awkward angle causing it to beat twice as hard and about a third more than it normally should. Also caused by the deformity is a lung disorder in my upper brachial tracts which causes me to be short of breath all of the time, and my left lung is significantly smaller than it should be. On top of that, it's caused me to develop Scoliosis, which I started to get in about eighth grade when I started to "grow." Because my chest wasn't growing but my shoulders were, I developed Scoliosis on top of my Pectus excavatum. The surgery's going to rectify the problem -- hopefully. I'm not sure which procedure they're going to use as there are several. But they all involve placing a truss rod behind my sternum to straighten it out after they remove the excess cartilage. There's also a good chance that they're going to "place" my heart in its proper position. The rod will be left in my chest for a number of months until the surgeons feel my sternum is well in place and then they'll remove it. Then I'll probably have to go through a month or so of rehabilitation to learn how to breathe properly with my new-found lung capacity. The surgery will leave me in the hospital for about a week and a half and then I'll be "on the sidelines" as my doctor put it for about three months after that. I'll be able to do everything except lift and masturbate (not that I really do that a whole lot anyway but that was one thing he mentioned -- that bastard). I probably won't be able to scream or sing for my band for a couple of months either. But by June or July I should be good to go. The thing about the surgery is that I'm scared to fucking death. This is a huge surgery and I could easily die during it (ironic -- I know). It used to be considered a cosmetic surgery until it was proven that it was a genetic defect (in my case it runs through my mother's side of the family) and that insurance companies are practically required to cover it now -- or at least most of the cost. But the fact remains that I could die during the surgery. They're going to be playing around my chest. Last time I checked that was a pretty important piece of equipment. So when I leave for my surgery and if I don't come back, make sure you all forget about me because I'm not important. Then on top of that I have a Thyroid problem. I'm hypothyroid, which means I should be insanely large. But I'm not. Since my metabolism's so high, I'm not gaining weight like I should be. So I've got to see a doctor about that as well and find out what's wrong with me there. Now focusing on emo-related topics: there's a girl. I'm fairly certain I can win her heart if I try but I need to hang out with her some time. Or at least talk to her on the Internet for a little while first. She's almost never online though to talk so I can't really ask her to hang out. But maybe some time next week when we all go sledding I'll invite her. Which will be really weird since two other girls I like could very well end up being there. And that would be horrible. Since they're both my friends. So I've been beating myself up over this as well. Oh. And my face is cut up from shaving. Dammit.