Got Something You Want To Let Out?

I had to fast last night and couldn't eat anything after 12:00pm, because had to get blood drawn for my glucose sugar at the Doctors Office in the morning at 8:00am. I got up this morning and they were taking my glucose sugar, to check for diabetes, and they did other check up tests. The first needle was okay, and the second needle was too. But once he took out the needle I said "I feel dizzy" and then he put smelling salt in front of me to keep me awake, and suddenly I leaned forward slightly and fainted.

My Dad said my eyes rolled in the back of my head and I slumped down in the chair. and he was freaking out. Suddenly I woke up and was like "Did I just... faint?" and the doctor said yeah. I was swaying back and forth for about a half an hour after that and was crying because I wanted to lie down. I was sweaty, shaky, nauseous, my stomach hurt, my body was clammy, and I was dizzy. The doctor said I went through a hypoglucemia (sp?) state, and that my blood sugar got really low. So they kept making me drink orange juice, and soon I became at least 98% better, and they let me go home and I fell right asleep.

I get results I think tomorrow on the test, and after that my dad says he's afraid I may have some type of diabetes because I allways get tired so much throughout the day, and that's what they took a test for to find out why. I allways come home and sleep for hours, and I allways fall asleep through everything in my classes at school, even if I do go to bed at a decent time the night before.

I'm worried. I either have hypoglucemia or diabetes, and diabetes runs through my biological family. Hopefully I'll have neither.

 

Diabetes runs in my family, too... I hope everything turns out okay for you.

 

I need a forsaken job. I need money to buy a car that i want. And I thought i had the money, but with recent events its all going down the drain.

And i just got pulled over a week ago for driving my friends car with its registration up for about 3 months. i didnt give a shit, neither did he. we dont care about that, and we dont care about getting pulled over. but i did get ticketed and fined $137. I have the money, but i told him that he was paying. because i was driving his car because he doesnt have a liscence. so basically it all goes back to him. i did say id pay part but not a whole lot. and he was all yea okay about it. but he just recently bought a bunch of parts for his jeep and i know he doesnt have the money to pay the ticket now. and i can feel it, hes gonna aske me to pay it and he'll pay me back. well he already owes me 70 dollars for about half a year. when i helped pay for him, to get his damn car back! and if i have to pay for it. i'll never get a car.

it's all such bullcrap.

 

Thankss, so do I.

But I think I might actually have hypoglysemia, my dad pointed things out to me and I have some signs of it. I would rather have that than diabetes honestly. ;P but I'll see the results in a few days.

 

oh Anya, I sincierly hope everything turns out ok.

 

man i had the weridest dream about my ex...it was like we were both in the bathroom and she asked me to take her back....how odd...felt so strange...

 

Geez Anya, that's terrible. Hopefully you don't have neither. It'd suck to hear you have diabetes. =/ Good luck. *hugs*

Speaking of which, I have a blood test tomorrow morning, and I can't fucking eat till then. I haven't eaten since ... 6pm? Of course, I was working at the shop from 7pm-12am and my mom was so fucking stupid and locked the door, refusing to unlock it (why? i don't know. but then again, she never makes sense). Once you're working in there for a few hours, and after some cutting of wood, drywall, etc, you seriously do need some fresh air. I need to get myself a key of the shop later. *mutters* So yeah, I'm hungry, but I can't eat.

I'm soo going for a fucking buffet after I do my test (second test within a month's time - wtf). Last one was for check-up purposes, but this one's for the Accutane. And to think I have to have a test every month because of it. Suckage, but at least it gets rid of the acne, which is more than enough pain itself (both physical and mental, might I add..).

Off to bed I go, apparently I'm going in the morning. *grumbles* I want sleep on my long weekend, damnit!

 

I love how my mom constantly tries lying to me and my dad.

Today, when I woke up, she wasn't home, she had taken the van somewhere. Probably off at the mall again, like usual. Luckily for my dad and I, the shop's not that far, so we had to walk to get there. So after some time, my mom finally comes to the shop, and I follow her to the back room. She opens up her purse and takes out some weird statue like thing. I ask her what's that and she tells me she brought it from home. Okay, whatever. I go back and continue working. My dad says he's off to the store to get some primer and whatever, and my mom immediately says she's going with. As I roll my eyes, I watch them leave as I finish off my job. I finished sanding down that drywall stuff (have no clue what it's called), and cleaning up, I go to the back room and sit down in the chair. I notice there's a receipt on the floor. Curiously, I pick it up. It's a receipt for that statue she bought. Today's date, and it's from a few hours ago. I shake my head as I pocket it. Again, she's lied to me.

After an hour or so, they finally come back, and I ask her about the receipt, she falls back to plan b: "ohh, i exchanged it from something I bought in Winnipeg.", and she tries to take the receipt from me. Yeeahummno. Firstly, there's no way in hell you could have exchanged it from Winnipeg, just because the fact it's from a different store, and b, the fact that there's a 30-day exchange limit -- you came from Winnipeg over 30 days ago. Nice try, but you fail. Plan c kicks in: cry and run out of the store in a tantrum because she's failed to successfully lie to me.

This kind of bullshit is coming from the woman says she has no money at all. Obviously she has money if she can go and buy some 10 dollar piece of shit. She thinks she's above us. She thinks that bitching and crying will get her out of working (I mean helping us), and anything else. She thinks she's the queen, perhaps. Sorry, last time I checked, our queen was Queen Elizabeth II, not my mom.

During the month of June, my mom was still in Winnipeg, because she had to sell her business and whatever. My grandpa, dad and I drove here and unpacked everything (minus my grandpa; he's blind, so he can't really help us). This house was soo calm, you'd probably still think this house was still empty if it wasn't for the van and various stuff outside. My mom flew in, and after she moved in, this house was a motherfucking hell hole. I can easily walk outside and stand in the middle of the court/bay and clearly understand what they're yelling about. Good thing they yell in Serbian, not English.

She's a freeloader. My dad works hard and pays for just about everything, while she goes around, her activities unknown while she's out of the house, and yells at us. What's worse is, she won't even help out my grandpa at all - HER OWN DAD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. If he ever needs anything, like milk, or some food, etc., he calls for me. My mom may be sitting in the living room, but will she help him? Fuck no. If I ask her to get him some milk if she's in the kitchen, she's plain out refuse to do it. I don't understand her one bit. She'll cook the food and put it on the table, and that's just about all she'll do. If we're sitting at the table, and grandpa wants a drink, and she's in the kitchen, SHE WON'T FUCKING DO IT. I have to fucking get up myself and get it, even if she's right beside the goddamn motherfucking fridge. LAZY INCONSIDERATE FUCK. She pisses me, and the rest of us off so much, it's unbelievable. When she's old like him, or maybe even blind like him, I'm really tempted to give her back her own medicine, and treat her like she treated her own father.

And she still has the nerve to yell and lie to us.

I don't know what I can do about her. She's completely uncooperative most of the time. Oh, and another thing. She has no manners at all (towards us, anyways). Like for example, maybe she wants a fork or something from the kitchen. "Go get me a fork". Not even a fucking thank you when I give it to her. My dad on the other hand, if he wants a fork, "Tomi, can you get me a fork please?" and he'll say thanks also. Now, if my mom's talking to someone else, like a friend of hers or whatever, she'll say please and thank you to them. I DON'T GET IT. I even say please and thanks to her, BUT SHE STILL REFUSES TO LISTEN TO ME. I try hard to respect her, but it's just impossible because of how she acts towards me. How can I respect such a person? Really, how? She puts on such a great act towards everyone else, and makes them believe that she's such a good person, but as soon as they leave, she's back to being her bitchy usual self.

Sometimes my dad thinks I'm depressed. I wouldn't say so, but I'm pretty sure my mom is the root of my depression, if not what I said in one of my previous posts. I mean, how can I live with all of this negativity that she creates? I can't wait until I'm off to university or whatever the hell I'm going after I finish grade 12. Oh, why can't you come sooner, 2008?

And my parents are yelling again. *sigh* ... oh, another thing, I love how she tries to bring her own dead mother in arguments as a scapegoat. Somewhere in the yelling between us, she'll sudden yell something about her mother, or maybe even blame us for her death (whatever), and start crying and run off to her room. I mean, if all else fails, dead mothers are a fail proof scapegoat, right? I loved my grandmother, and it's unbelievable that she'll go that far and bring her mother into our fights, how disrespectful. [and yes, in case you're wondering, she just did it again, as her and my dad were yelling upstairs].

Her slogan (most likely): offense is the best defense.

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Sorry for the double post and long post. I just had to say that somewhere. I'm growing sick and tired of her, I really don't know what to do. I can continue on like I am, and let her continue yelling, but my dad's actually apparently at a high risk of having a heart attack, or something like that, and he really can't take this, never mind myself. I'm worried the only thing left to do is a divorce, but really, how's she going to survive on her own? As a freeloader, there isn't a chance that she'll last a week on her own. And who's going to take care of grandpa? Like hell she will. My dad and I can easily survive, after all, he does all the work. My mom just freeloads and wastes her money on stupid things while trying to cover it up by lying to us.

 

Hey Tomi...
I really feel bad for you, can kinda relate to what your saying

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Sometimes it feels like no matter how many times and how much I try to please my parents it just doesn't work out and I end up getting crap for everything I do. I've tried being the son that I should be, but it seems like to them I can't do anything right. For example I don't do drugs, I don't drink, none of that but they still find things that are wrong with me and try to change them. Things like the way I dress, the friends I have, and the music I listen to. I just get frustated.....

 

So if a guy is talking about *ahem* stuff that him and his girlfriend did behind said girlfriend's back, and someone who hears him talking about it tells the girl, in private, what her boyfriend is saying behind her back, is that wrong?

 

man this sucks....i cant understand her at all...at fuckign all....i wonder why she talks so much bull doenst even make an effort....

 

Taken from 'Do you miss someone?' thread, because it got too much of a rant.

I just realised someone else i miss lately, but it's more of an annoyance since it's their fault. When my dad left, his brother (my uncle) came to help him move out. I was really REALLY close to that uncle, and we always went on holiday with him. and his kids are a LOT like me and my brother so we get on amazingly and can just sit and talk for hours. Anyway, point is, i remember the last words he said to me exactly. After my mum turned to him and said 'Look.. the boys are worried they'll lose touch with you and the kids..' and he turned round and said 'Not an issue. Not an issue at all. If you ever want to visit, just call.' Well. We've called. and called. and called. nothing. they're always 'Too busy'. Yet he's always saying 'Oooh.. i'm sorry.. we REALLY need to get together! i'll call!' and he doesn't. The kids really miss us, and the last time isaw them was christmas. Considering how often we saw them it's REALLY bad.. and all the oppertunities they've had to come here or get togetehr that they've passed up for stupid reasons that are easily avoidable if they made a little effort, they just don't bother. and it's pissing me off to no end.

 

Sorry honey..

 

No.. just.. thankyou sweetheart..

 

Tomi- thats ... bad, man. I dont get it at all. I mean...why? What? How? Its so fucked up. Have you ever tried talking to her? (I think I know what the answer will be anyway).
YOu know, this is wierd, but maybe you should try the Gandhian method. No, dont stare at me like I'm crazy, I was just thinking...its worth a shot anyway. Basically how much ever she's rude to you, be nice to her, and love her. If she shouts, dont go all meak, but dont get angry either. Keep smiling at her, you know, maybe hug her, or something, just love her as much as possible. I realise this may be a dumb suggestion, but you have absolutely nothing to lose trying this, you know. Who knows?
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EDIT: Dave, I have a cousin with whom my relationship is just the same, and we used to be best friends. It pisses me off.

 

Half happy, half sad.

When my grandpa died last week, I was devastated. We'd known it was coming, but the doctors had assured us we'd have until February. So I had a ticket out to see him in December. Well, I changed it so I could go out for his funeral this weekend, and on the way out had a four hour layover in Milwaukee. Now, I don't like airports as is. But I was sad anyway, and so I called a good buddy of mine who I happen to explore with during the summers. He picked up and listened to me for a little while, then announced that he was skipping his next class so he could talk to me.

So we spent the next half hour talking about various things, and after a while he paused, stuttered slightly, and told me that he'd been thinking about me every day since we left for our respective schools, and that he wanted a shot at a relationship with me.

I said yes. I'm going to visit him a week from Friday.

 

I tried weed for the first time on Monday. My frame of reference and time got totally fucked. Next thing I remember I'm in my room getting a blanket and pillows and I don't remember why I was getting them or even walking to my room to get them. For the next 2 hours it felt like 6.

The girl I really really REALLY like had feelings for me for some time, but she never knew if it was just as friends or as anything more. She decided it was friends.

It gives me hope, but it hurts at the same time. She's going out with a guy she's known for like 3 weeks and I feel totally dejected. We agreed to be good friends and we talk about a lot of stuff but it hurts because I had really FALLEN for her.

I'm still trying to get over her, but I don't know if I want to.

 

I've been clean for 3 weeks. Except for cigarettes. But I haven't touched a drink, a joint, a pill or powder in 3 weeks.

And I'm liking it. Oh god, what's happening to me?

 

Kayce tries the drugs, and Casey is clean of the drugs.

Conspiracy.

 

I'm telling you, God hates me. I get popped by my parents for dealing, and I therefore quit everything, and the other Kayce smokes his first joint.

What the fuck, man.