Got Something You Want To Let Out?

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Mechanical Christ, Aug 25, 2004.

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  1. Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Far better than staying at a resort. And plus we can rent it out and make lots of money. ^_^

    Plus we have 2 friends that live on both sides of us, so we're making a big pool or something like that in our backyards. =D
     
  2. The Doctor

    The Doctor I wear a fez now. Fez's are cool. LPA Super Member

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    Damnit. After two years I still miss Steph everytime I see her. She's stuck in my heart forever. I know we're perfect together but it won't happen. Part of me is always going to love her but I can't have her. I'm starting school next year, and she's starting school the same time, the same classes in the same school. She's going to find other guys and I'll still feel like nothing. I know she loved me, I loved her. God why can't I get her out of my mind forever?
     
  3. Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Eh, it happens to the best of us, Nate. Try to not dwell on it so much, although it is hard not to. =]
     
  4. aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Ooh fancy.

    I'd love to go.

    Nate-Tomi's right. If you want to you can tell her how you feel, maybe that will help.
     
  5. Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Oh indeed. I still haven't been there, yet my parents have been there twice now. *mutters* Can't wait till Winter. Possibly on a plane for my birthday. w00t.

    And in re to your comment to Nate, it possibly could help, or it could make matters worse. I'd suggest first observing her reactions to being around you. If she seems to still like you, I'd mention it if you really feel that way. G'luck to you. =]
     
  6. Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Thanks you guys for your positive comments about my being-a-jerk :hug: it really means something to me.
     
  7. aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Hunny what happened? If you don't want to share, that's okay.



    Marj-Eh? What are you talking about?

    OH the failing post?


    My exams are near.
     
  8. Dean

    Dean LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Mali, you aren't an asshole. That's all I have to say.
     
  9. Friskey™

    Friskey™ LPA Super Member LPA Addict

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    I'm basically agreeing with everybody else that you are not an asshole Mali. If it helps, I wish there were more people like you around here that I know.
     
  10. Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Real nice of you to say, loves :hug:

    Nothing really happened, Aisha, just a kind of sort of revelation maybe.
     
  11. Rachel

    Rachel look at my horse. LPA Super Member

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    If you would just talk to me for 5 minutes, maybe I can get my closure after 3 years.

    Just take an IM or a PM from me, man. I need it. For closure.
     
  12. Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    I wish I could understand myself. I wish I had the capability of comprehending my actions and the actions of those around me. I really wish I could. Life would be so much easier if it were so. But whatever I do, or whatever he does or she does, it all seems to come up short and I never end up satisfied. I actually become dissatisfied and I feel distaste and displeasure for him or her and their actions.

    Some people are absolute jerks. We all know this, but I wish some people realized what they were doing. I wished people would actually treat people like they'd want to be treated. I wish people had some maturity and some common sense. Why torture me for something I was incessantly tortured about in Elementary school? This is high school. You're older than I am, and yet, you have no common sense? You have no sympathy? No knowledge? No maturity?

    I don't want jerks in my class embarassing me, and making me feel sorry for myself. I don't want jerks in my class holding me back because they want to throw something around the room for the sole sake of some laughs. Why can't you people get with it and realize this is serious? Weekends are there for a reason. Why spoil it for people who want to get ahead? For people who want to learn? For people who just want to get through their day without watching people look stupid and feeling sorry for them because they don't know better?

    I don't blame people for wanting to have their fun. Even I appreciate a good joke sometimes, and I like to do some silly things sometimes. We all need it. And even for people who say they don't and think it's ridiculous, it's really necessary every now and then. But doing it all the time is what's ridiculous, and how you stage it at a time where it interferes with everyone else's learning and getting through the day is ridiculous.

    I can't understand these people. But above all, I can't understand myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I try my hardest to satisfy everyone. I want everyone to be happy.

    To be honest, I want to save the world. I really do. I want for everyone in this world to be happy. I want world peace. I want the people in Africa not to be living a life of poverty. I hate the fact that every 3 seconds, someone in Africa dies needlessly. I hate the fact that people are being sent to a nation to die everyday. I hate the fact that this world is unfair, and I hate the corruption. I hate it. And I hate how nothing is being done. No, I hate how we say things are getting done but they aren't getting done. I hate how we spend millions over a lost cause. I hate how nothing is getting done. I hate the corruption. I've said it before, and I'll say it once more. I hate the corruption. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

    We're failing ourselves. We're failing our sons, our daughters. And we're failing their sons and their daughters. Civilization is failure. There's nothing civilized about it. It's a mess. It's corrupted. Disturbed and wrecked by greed and hatred.

    This makes me think about myself a lot. In a lot of ways, I've failed myself. I've failed everyone around me. And everyone who thinks they failed me, they haven't. You all surpassed me. I've come up short. We all seem to come up short for certain people every now and then. But I'm the one lacking the requirements. I've lacked them for a long time. I failed and cancelled the shipments.

    There are a lot of things that bother me that shouldn't. I let everything get to me. The smallest things. I'm disturbed by a lot of things and I usually can't let things go. I dwell. You've said it and so have you. He's said it and so has she. I have a habit of dwelling. It's not under my control. It's just how I am. Unfortunate? Of course. But what can I do?
    I'm incapable. Or maybe I don't have the time. Or the patience. Or maybe I don't care. I don't know anymore. There's no solution in the back of the book to this one. We're already burning up the pages.

    I have a bad habit of being honest. Sometimes, it's a good thing. It really is a good thing. But sometimes, it's not. Sometimes it's a bad thing. Along with being good, it really is a bad thing. Sometimes, I benefit from my honesty. Other times, I want to kick myself and punch myself because I said too much. Is that worse than saying too little?

    I'll be honest without being honest, if you can even understand that. I'm pushing you away from me. My honesty has pushed you away from me and it continues to do so. And now it's pushing everyone else away. And I can't reach. I can't get a grip.

    But especially you, I pushed too far. I don't even know if I can take it. Maybe I don't deserve what I'm longing for. I don't even know if I'm ready for what seems so far out of reach. Maybe I'm not over it. But I want it. I want the happiness. I want the security. But I can't have it. And at this rate, I won't for a long time.

    I can sigh all I want. I can put my head down. I can cry. Nothing will happen. You're too far away from me. Even if you were in reach, I don't think anything would happen. Because I wouldn't be able to get anything right. Never have, never will.

    I simply can't get it right.

    *sigh*

    I wish...
     
  13. Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Ah, so the wake up slap to my face has finally come. I've always been used to my parents being able to give me money whenever I needed it, etc. Now that we've moved to Kelowna, and my parents just opened their business, the money's starting to run low.

    I have a ~$900 band trip in spring that needs to be paid for, and it's kinda hard to pay for it at this point in time. And I really want to go on this trip for a few reasons. Firstly, would be because I've never been to Disneyland, and I've always wanted to go. And secondly, and more importantly to me, is because it gives me a chance to become better friends with the people in my band.

    Ahh, I need a fucking job. But I really can't see myself...working. Oo It's just one of those things that are foreign to me because I've been so used to leeching off my parents. But now I can't do that anymore.

    Eh, I've managed to go into a completely new city, new school, new environment, and make friends. Perhaps I can do this too. ...Right? =/


    ---
    Louis - And to think you're younger than me. Holy crap, kid. You just can't please everyone. Nor can you let them take advantage of you. It's a tough world out there, but hey, it's only high school. Just keep your head up and out of the toilet. You're a good kid, and don't let anyone fuck that up. You know who you are, and don't let anyone change that.
     
  14. Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    So...I wake up this morning...I'm sick and coughing and shit...turns out...my gf (well not anymore) is too...she claims she saw me kissing someone at a party yesterday...I mean...I wasn't even at a party...and my last kiss was like a year ago...now we're broke up...and I've fallen madly in love with this girl that lives next to one of my best friends (like...a few days ago)...I mean...I'm a jerk...I'm the smallest person in the world...seriously...haven'T even been out of the last relationship for 24 hours and I'm already going for someone else...
     
  15. Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    So my roommate threw a party on Friday and he got busted and had to move out.

    I came on saturday not knowing any of this and called my roommates telling them that Cale (the roommate who threw the party) and his stuff were gone.

    I got called the next day (while I was at a friend's house) and was told the PS2 was missing.

    I told my roommates that I was bringing mine anyways (they KNOW I have a PS2, I brought it for a few weeks) so I'd bring it.

    When I get there my roommates accuse me of stealing the PS2 because my PS2 ALSO has an expansion pack and the wires to connect it to the TV are split the exact same way.

    Big argument occurs.

    I'd just lock myself in my room, but a week ago my roommates thought it'd be a good idea to rip down all the doors.

    So I have no door and no privacy in an apartment where my roommates are out to get me.

    I have no gas in my car and nowhere to go, so I'm living and sleeping in my car right now. I have no money and I have no idea what to do. All my stuff minus my bed and chair are in my car and I have FINALS THIS WEEK.
     
  16. Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    That's all kinds of effed up...seriously...hope it gets better soon :sad:
     
  17. Tomi

    Tomi   LPA Addict

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    Kori just tried asking me out again today as we were talking home. Holy fuck, is she ever persistent. She just won't take no for an answer, ahh. What the hell, she's like walking me into a corner where I almost have to say yes. Almost like a guilt-trip but not. Yeah, so I may seem perfect to her, always being myself and never caring about what everyone thinks. Yeah, it's true, but we all have our flaws. I'm just really good at not showing mine.

    I never though I'd ever be in this position where I want to turn down a girl for once. >_>

    ---
    Kayce - That's fucked up, man. Isn't there anywhere else you can stay? I mean, isn't it starting to get cold out, you can't sleep in your car. =/
     
  18. Holiday

    Holiday Married and on a life-long adventure! LPA Super VIP

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    So yeah, I can't believe he has that he's a fucking swinger on his page instead of saying that he's in a relationship.

    He used to have stuff about me all over his page. and now he doesn't even have that he's in a freaking relationship?!

    I think it's going wonderfully (the relationship that is), but god damnit! I deserve to have a mention!

    I mean, should it really bother me this much?

    I just want to kill him sometimes. -_-;
     
  19. Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    :hug: You tell him that!

    Kayce :hug: good lord, that fucking sucks. I really hope it all turns out great, real soon.
     
  20. Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    I don't have the gas to get to any of my friend's houses, not to mention if I did, I would still have to drive back to UTD for finals. Which by the way is hard to study when all your shit is somewhere in your backseat (if you must know, I'm at the UTD library right now, which is how I'm on the interweb).

    I have no money and nowhere to go. I applied for emergency housing with UTD, got denied because there's nowhere to put me. I posted my 2-month move-out notice but I still have to pay rent until then AND they decided to keep my PS2, which my sister wants really bad, so I have to find a PS2 by the end of the week.

    And I need a place to stash all my stuff, since it'd look a little weird pulling into my 'rent's house (hell, I don't even have enough gas to get THERE) with all my crap in my car.

    Usually when bad shit happens to me, I can figure out like, a course of action. Things I can do to slowly get myself out of this situation.

    I can think of nothing. Thanks for your support guys, I think it's going to be a long few months.
     
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