How come he didn't get in trouble? ( not throwing you in or anything ) [/b][/quote] Because there was nothing offensive in that joke. Savor this time to post because you won't be here much longer. And for those of you who are "iffy" on the second joke... There are sheep shearers in New Zealand, therefore the horses race so fast so they don't get sheared as well. Get it? Ha. Ha. Ha. It has nothing to do with them performing sexual acts on the animals.
I heard a similar one. Little susy and johnny were friends. Well it was 'that time of the month' for susy, her first time. She wasn't sure what all the blood was from, so she asked her friend Johnny. He took her pants off and took a look at it, and said "Well it looks to be like someone ripped your balls off"
another one Sex in Florida A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare
"What do you call a fly with no wings?" "I don't know. What do you call a fly with no wings?" "A walk." A couple walk into a sex therapists office and asks the doctor for help. "Our love life isn't what you would call 'perfect,'" said the man, "because we can't seem to get stimulated. Can you help us?" The doctor agreed and examined them. "Well, I can tell you this... Go to the grocery store and buy a box of donuts and a bag of cherries. You [the husband] will toss the cherries on your wife's lap and get at them with your mouth and without using your hands wherever they land. You [the wife] will do the same with the donuts. After a few weeks their sex life was great and the wife was telling her friend about it so she went to the same sex therapist with her husband. Here's what the doctor told her and her husband: "Well, you can go to the grocery store and buy a box of Cheerios [to toss on the husband's lap] and a bag of apples [to toss on the wife's lap] and tell me how it goes." That's pretty lame but it's funny. That's not exactly how it goes either but I'm too lazy to find the "real" version, lmao.
Q: What did the alien say to the cow? A: The alien said....paper towl. the joke isnt supposed to make sense. I made that joke up to annoy my family. My mom tried to think of the answer for five days, then when i told her the answer she spent three days trying to make sense out of it
Pictures now...well this is MY speciality: CLICK ME I might put that as my avatar...but it might offend...so I won't