Joke Of The Day

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by lpfan1924, Jan 28, 2003.

  1. #21
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    How come he didn't get in trouble? ( not throwing you in or anything ) [/b][/quote]
    Because there was nothing offensive in that joke.

    Savor this time to post because you won't be here much longer.

    And for those of you who are "iffy" on the second joke... There are sheep shearers in New Zealand, therefore the horses race so fast so they don't get sheared as well. Get it? Ha. Ha. Ha. It has nothing to do with them performing sexual acts on the animals.
     
  2. #22
    Todd

    Todd FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN LPA Administrator

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    I heard a similar one.


    Little susy and johnny were friends. Well it was 'that time of the month' for susy, her first time. She wasn't sure what all the blood was from, so she asked her friend Johnny. He took her pants off and took a look at it, and said "Well it looks to be like someone ripped your balls off"
     
  3. #23
    Todd

    Todd FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN LPA Administrator

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    another one



    Sex in Florida
    A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

    When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

    Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare
     
  4. #24
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    "What do you call a fly with no wings?"

    "I don't know. What do you call a fly with no wings?"

    "A walk."

    :lol:

    A couple walk into a sex therapists office and asks the doctor for help. "Our love life isn't what you would call 'perfect,'" said the man, "because we can't seem to get stimulated. Can you help us?" The doctor agreed and examined them. "Well, I can tell you this... Go to the grocery store and buy a box of donuts and a bag of cherries. You [the husband] will toss the cherries on your wife's lap and get at them with your mouth and without using your hands wherever they land. You [the wife] will do the same with the donuts. After a few weeks their sex life was great and the wife was telling her friend about it so she went to the same sex therapist with her husband. Here's what the doctor told her and her husband: "Well, you can go to the grocery store and buy a box of Cheerios [to toss on the husband's lap] and a bag of apples [to toss on the wife's lap] and tell me how it goes."

    :lol: That's pretty lame but it's funny. That's not exactly how it goes either but I'm too lazy to find the "real" version, lmao.
     
  5. #25
    CHAPSTICk

    CHAPSTICk Well-Known Member

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    Q: What did the alien say to the cow?



    A: The alien said....paper towl. the joke isnt supposed to make sense. I made that joke up to annoy my family. My mom tried to think of the answer for five days, then when i told her the answer she spent three days trying to make sense out of it :D
     
  6. #26
    Linkin_maddness

    Linkin_maddness Well-Known Member

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    meh i dunno they werent that bad were they oh and by the way im not a he im a she :rolleyes:
     
  7. #27
    PuNk

    PuNk Banned

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    Isn't whoever that XxLPxX is gone? Why is everybody still rolling there eyes n' stuff?? :rolleyes: :p
     
  8. #28
    White Pony(turntables)

    White Pony(turntables) Ambient

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    WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITHOUT LEGS??!












    GROUND BEEF!!1
     
  9. #29
    Omar

    Omar Administrator LPA Super Member

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    [​IMG]funny but mean
     
  10. #30
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    HAHAHA! You found it! I was trying to find that to show Derek and Mark weeks ago, lmfao.
     
  11. #31
    PuNk

    PuNk Banned

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    Tell me if you get it.

    Picture
     
  12. #32
    Nikki

    Nikki I have no idea what is going on LPA Super Member

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    Pictures now...well this is MY speciality:

    CLICK ME


    I might put that as my avatar...but it might offend...so I won't ;)
     
  13. #33
    PuNk

    PuNk Banned

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    I always knew frogs were dirty lil' bastards! :lol:
     
  14. #34
    LinkinJunior

    LinkinJunior LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    Q -- What's the difference between In-Laws and Out Laws?



    Answer:
    Out-laws are wanted!
     

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