Hi everyone. I haven't been on here in a while, since long before Chester passed. Although I was fairly new here anyway and I wouldn't think anyone noticed the absence, I still want to say sorry, as I know for many it helped them to be around other fans in attempting to deal with this tragedy. So I'm sorry I wasn't helping to enforce that effort. I hope people are beginning to feel 'better' for lack of a better term. If you took it even half as hard as I've been taking it, then I know you've had a rough time with it. This band for me, and my intake and enjoyment of them, has been experienced mostly personally and privately throughout the 17 years they've been here. It's kind of crazy that despite how over 2 months have gone by, even typing this right now is a little emotional, even though I haven't really said very much yet, just because it hits me as to what I'm writing, why I'm writing it, things like that. I've been a little bit selfish by going back to dealing with this mostly privately. As much as I feel like other LP fans would/should understand, part of me still feels like they wouldn't understand what it meant on my personal level. (Which, you know, that's fair. Nobody can read minds). Another reason I didn't do a lot of being around or discussing with other fans, is that I actually for once thought maybe I should try it, by attending a local memorial. Let's just say that didn't go very well. I ended up being on edge and getting upset at certain things that happened there that would probably normally roll off my back. Though one thing that came from that memorial, something unexpected, I ended up being the holder, or the person in charge or in care of the most important items from it -- the three poster-boards that fans signed around a centralized picture of Chester. I stayed back that night, alone when everyone had left, and finally had my own time to just do what I had in mind. The people at the memorial wanted these poster-boards to get to the band, or at the least, to Warner Bros. I know that a while ago, Warner Bros had taken down their memorial items from outside of the studio in (I believe) Burbank, and I for one don't want to inundate them with more, if they're trying to move past it. At the same time, I want to try to honour the request of the Toronto fans from the memorial, and I also don't feel right keeping things like this forever. I also don't know if it's healthy for me to do that. Do you guys think it would be alright if I tried to directly contact Adam Ruehmer? I know he works at WB, and that he has an account on this site as well and checks in here and there. I've even talked to him a bit on here. I don't want to bother him if he's also trying to have his own space, and as well I'm sure he's already been dealing with similar things. I'll be heading to the LA area later in October, and I would bring these with me on the flight, and I bought a portfolio case to house them in, but they're not the easiest things to travel by plane with, and I wouldn't want to go through that only to be told "Thanks, but no thanks" by Warner, by Adam, by the band, etc (not that I would ever be able to get in contact with the band directly). I would certainly understand if nobody is looking to take in more of these memorial items. Any advice anybody might have would be appreciated. I feel a little strange that I started this post by apologizing and I'm ending it by asking for something. I'm sorry for that, and I hope nobody takes it badly. Thank you, and everyone please take care. If anybody feels the need to talk about anything, I feel it's finally time to offer that, though it may be too late. You can DM me anytime.