Code: CONSTRUCT 2 i can see you hurting yourself see us hurting each other feels like there's less and less to care about tensing our extremities against the biting cold i can see when you smile and nod too readily that this isn't enough and it might never be. you've just got a vague feeling that it's all beginning to unravel and you have to get away before it becomes reality too great to overcome you're always running just to escape whatever's hounding you trying your best to keep pace i drown myself in violence white-hot but immobile until i'm numbed to it all neither of us can deal. we don't have the words and, even if we did, we're such private people, aren't we?
Code: i watched you as you lay there helpless and they roughed you up a little skin turning blue in the cold marks all over your body, allergies acting up things have never been easy, not even when they should've been i saw you struggling to breathe and i still don't know if you actually recovered i guess that everything was wrong from the very beginning maybe you still remember the feeling somewhere deep inside but even understanding it now might not matter i mean, hindsight has never saved us not that ignorance or denial are any better ... wasted energy all around. nostalgia; everyone looked so happy, which makes it all kind of tragic now, really all that celebration and, now, look: nobody cares anymore except the ones who just don't know any better.
Code: ETHICAL DRUGS my habits are different now; now, i'm on the other side of the wall. things have changed so much, so often within such a short time that i guess that my feelings are being dulled last week, i was almost pulled away water flowing in a river looked so peaceful from the bank ... and we looked peaceful too hanging on for dear life everyone wonders if you're okay but no-one wants to disturb you. i don't know how we manage. i'm permanently tired now and sleep just makes it worse keep waking up at the wrong times soon, i'm going to realise that everything is wrong and that i still need to worry, even though i'm not in control at all.
Code: GLIDE [17/10/2016] RDX i can see them down there. to use the cliché, i guess they do look like ants but that doesn't quite capture the distance they don't care, and they shouldn't. the only ones that care about us, they just don't know any better, for better or worse we're dead even to ourselves i can feel the wind ... people tell you it's exhilarating, getting away from it all being close to nature maybe reconnecting with a deeper part of yourself from before all of this stuff happened i know that this isn't what they mean. the air up here isn't calming. instead, it's a constant battle it's hard being so afraid all the time maybe, at some point, your receptors burn out the signals that you need can't reach you anymore