<div align=center>Pendulum</div> Time takes its toll of soul and lives Claiming reality as it goes along Wrecking everything on its path Leaving memories of an happier past Looking at the rubble of this broken dream A glass sphere shattered in miniature pieces I wonder if this collapse was bound to happen Consequence of avoidable mistakes? Light fades, yielding to dawn Dawn has come to take away time Time that left with countless memories Memories of everyone’s stories Stories we’d rather remember Remember them instead of what remains Remains negativity and hopelessness Hopelessness we might not overcome Can we fight back the odds? In our constant search for something better A quest with a goal we can’t reach Because we always aim further Never satisfied of what we’ve got Just needing more to be happy Constantly making the past dimmer A vicious cycle with a doubtful outcome Light fades, yielding to dawn Dawn has come to take away time Time that left with countless memories Memories of everyone’s stories Stories we’d rather remember Remember them instead of what remains Remains negativity and hopelessness Hopelessness we might not overcome Negativity and hopelessness Hopelessness we might not overcome Do you know what you are doing? Leaving yourself being brought down By this unjustified pessimistic attitude And your constant lack of satisfaction You’re heading into depression If you don’t break away It's a wake up call! Wake up! Still needs some work, but overall I'm somewhat satisfied.
:whistle: Sweet stuff, your writing has great expression and flow. I especially like your use of repetition when you use the last word of the line to start the next, it turned out to be a great way to connect your ideas. Just the last stanza, I don't know what you meant by that, is he waking out of a dream or something? The tone changed from poetic and philosphical to harsh and grating! Maybe if you knew what you intended I could understand it. Otherwise, great job! B)
Yeah, well, I didn't know how to finish it. I mean, all along, we're talking about a pessimistic and depressing attitude with no possible positive outcome, and I wanted the end to be like a wake up call; sending the person back to earth. In a way, the pendulum swings from past to future all the way, but I wanted it to stop at the present in the end. Edit : I modified the end a bit.
I haven't read much of your stuff, atleast that I can think of...but I like this one a lot. I think about 'time' quite a bit, and since this relates to time, it interested me. It's written very well, your a talented writer.
Great work, i havn't read much, like arT saveS but i also agree that this is really interesting and that you are a talented writer. Hope ot see some more soon.