pieces

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by fallenangel, Sep 14, 2005.

  1. #1
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    ok, so i haven't had that much time to write or not that much to write about. i gotta do it when it feels natural, not forced but i found this one i must have writen a few months ago and thought 'what the hell' i'll post it!

    i may have to warn you though, it's not that good...

    Pieces

    Looking into the reflection
    Standing at the mirror
    The shards of glass are breaking
    Into all those tiny pieces

    Those pieces are sharp
    Pointing at my organs
    The heart ready to be plunged
    Sticks in like a knife

    The shards go everywhere
    Heart, brain and eyes
    My vision is somewhat blurred
    My chest can no longer expand

    Standing at the mirror
    Looking at the reflection
    Of someone I used to be
    Pieces lying on the ground

    My pain has been let loose
    My sorrow has oozed out
    What is left of me is now
    Is a shallow and dull shell
     
  2. #2
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    I don't know, i have to agree with you that it isn't great. It just seems a bit crude and in some bits beautiful, i think it could be good if it was polished off, but in this form it is pretty average i'm sorry to say.
     
  3. #3
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    thanks for reading it david. i guess my heart isn't into writing at the moment, not for pleasure anyway!

    thanks for the honest responce. ;)
     
  4. #4
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Cruel. I like it
     
  5. #5
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    I agree. I do like this, but I'd think it would be better polished off.

    Edit: It had better not be my sig. I just changed it to a smaller size because my last one was stretching.
     
  6. #6
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    Alright, one of your guy's sigs is stretching the forums, and it's getting annoying.

    And the song is awesome. Keep it up.
     
  7. #7
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Keep it up.
     
  8. #8
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    thanks for replies guys!

    mixed reviews, but what the hell! ;)
     
  9. #9
    Stick N move

    Stick N move Well-Known Member

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    it's not that good.. but it has a great line.. just like other say.. it has to be polished a bit.. it'll be great then! ;)
     
  10. #10
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    sorry,but i don't like it :mellow:

    not my kind of thing sorry
     

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