RANDOM THOUGHTS 25

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Joe, Apr 30, 2012.

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  1. Filip

    Filip god break down the door LPA Contributor

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    *picture of RHCP with socks on inappropriate places*

    EDIT: Oh goody! 1,999 posts... Where should I spend my 2,000? :obama:
     
  2. Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    Holy fucknuts I'm gonna hurl.
     
  3. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    I don't know why, but I can't understand people's emotions. I understand my own, and I know how emotions feel. I know people have emotions. But something stops me from thinking about them. I think about what people want, but I don't know how they will feel about it, no matter how much I think about it. Family members die and I feel nothing. I know I am meant to feel something. People tell me about their emotions and how certain events have affected them, but I cannot imagine how they feel. I know I am meant to. I can sometimes guess an emotion they might feel, but I can't feel emotion when I think about other people. I do things, and afterward realize I may have hurt someone, but I never feel guilty. I know I am meant to. I can't feel sorry for people. I can't feel sad when someone I care about gets hurt. I am meant to feel something. I can't. When someone I care about achieves something, I know I am meant to feel proud, but I don't. I understand certain people and objects are important to me, and I would be upset if they were gone. I know I am important to some people, but I don't know how they would feel if I was gone. I feel fear when I could be affected negatively, but I never worry about other people. I know I should. I know it is wrong. I don't know why I don't feel emotions when it involves other people. When I think about death, I just think about endings. I don't fear death. I don't get frightened when people I care about are put at risk. I feel nothing. I get angry or sad when people affect me negatively. I feel nothing when people I care about are affected negatively. This worries me. I am heartless. I know I shouldn't be. I don't know why I am. I can't help it.
    This worries me because I know one day I could get extremely angry and hurt people I feel nothing. No guilt. I could kill someone if I ever felt like it, and I would feel nothing.
    That is terrible. I am terrible.
     
  4. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    Perhaps you should seek psychiatric help. I'm totally being serious.
     
  5. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    I know I should, but I don't know how. My mother used to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They cost money and my family is poor. What if they want to put me on medication? Medication will cost money. I don't want to make my parents pay. They aren't happy with me already.
     
  6. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    As your parents, they should understand if you need medication, especially if your mom went through it. Don't automatically assume that they will not get you the help that you need. How you were talking in your initial post is not a healthy way of thinking. To find help, you can go about it by talking to your regular family doctor. Go to the doctor and tell him how you're feeling mentally unhealthy and explain to him what you said in the post. The doctor should then refer you to a specialist.
     
  7. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    They said my mother was bipolar. They gave her medicine. She told them it wasn't working. They told her to take more of it. She became an emotionless zombie. She asked if she could stop taking the meds. They said no. She stopped anyway. Turned out she was fine. And then they said "Whoops! Turns out you weren't bipolar! Sorry!"
    I do not want that to happen to me.
    And those thoughts I posted were some of my mild ones.
    My thoughts are sometimes terrible and I could never post them here.
     
  8. Esummai

    Esummai Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry for you! Wish you well!
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2013
  9. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    I can't think about this right now.
    I need a distraction.
    Now.
    I can't think about this right now.
    EDIT: Everything is okay now.
    Everything is okay now.
    Don't worry, Lee.
    You will be fine.

    I don't know why I'm posting this stuff. Just ignore me.

    EDIT 2: Sorry about that.
    Man, I'm messed up.
    Just ignore my freaky posts.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2013
  10. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    Even if you go to a psychologist just to talk about your feelings or lack there of. I think you need help.

    Before you hurt yourself or others, you should consider talking with someone...
     
  11. Melis

    Melis when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory LPA Super Member

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    I am not sure where but I once met a person like you. She was around 17 and her family was also poor. She went to her doctor and he refered her to a specialist. And she das to pay nothing. She got it free because she was mentally disturbed... I am not sure if it's everywhere though. May I ask how old you are?
     
  12. Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    My coming out went amazing. My team leader told me the sweetest thing I've ever had someone say to me after coming out. He told me: "When you get hot I'm gonna fuck you." :cry: so touching.
     
  13. Andreina

    Andreina Proud Venezuelan LP fan. LPA Contributor

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    I told you you were going to be fine! :D I'm so happy for you, you must feel as light as a feather, congratulations! :)
     
  14. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    14. Turning 15 in March.
    Yay! *hugs*
     
  15. ernieball003

    ernieball003 Well-Known Member

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    Literally!
     
  16. Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    :rofl:
     
  17. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    You have shown signs of sociopathic, psychopatic and antisocial personality disorder. That really doesn't go away by its self. It's going to actually get worse with puberty. You need to see someone before anyone, including you, gets hurt.
     
  18. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    Okay...
    I remember in a conversation a while ago, my mother just said casually "Oh, when you were little your teachers thought you had Asperger's. We never got you tested 'cause we don't like labels."
    I decided to google Asperger's today.
    I HAVE EVERY FUCKING SYMPTOM.
    Stuff like limited empathy and social awkwardness...
    I'll try and talk to a psychiatrist/psychologist as soon as I can.
     
  19. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    Good. The only person that can help you right now is you by taking that first step.
     
  20. Lee

    Lee Well-Known Member

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    I used to see a psychologist when I was 7. I only stopped seeing her because she began working at a different school.
    EDIT:
    www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
    "Children with AS are more likely to have sleep problems, including difficulty in falling asleep, frequent
    nocturnal awakenings , and early morning awakenings. AS is also associated with high levels of
    alexithymia , which is difficulty in identifying and
    describing one's emotions. Although AS, lower
    sleep quality, and alexithymia are associated, their
    causal relationship is unclear."
    www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia
    "The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked
    dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment,
    and interpersonal relating. Furthermore, individuals
    suffering from alexithymia also have difficulty in
    distinguishing and appreciating the emotions of others,
    which is thought to lead to unempathic and ineffective
    emotional responding."
    "Some alexithymic individuals may appear to contradict
    the above mentioned characteristics because they can
    experience chronic dysphoria or manifest outbursts of
    crying or rage."
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2013
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