Rap RE:volution [Part I]

This is my first time at tryin to rap. Lol. I suck.

I'm gettin' so bored
Just readin' these rhymes
Y'all thinkin you're so fine
Everyone tryin' to diss each other
Tryin' to put some flava in your rappin'
Shape up
Leave the mic to the experienced
Tryin' your best
But you know you just gonna get knocked down again




Oh, god, that was crap. Please ignore it.

 

*cough*StepUp*cough*

 

I'll bust an easy rhyme on all of you emcee's/
I'll take the heat up higher than 98 degrees/
You come back with your no's and disses/
Your gonna be the emcee that no one misses/
And my tongue is like a snake's, it hisses/
Your never gonna be famous, just keep wishin'/
----------------------------------------------------------
ite i'm out i aint got no time to waste

 

*cough*StepUp*cough* [/b][/quote]
Jawknee, you think you could top her?
In this war, it looks like your less of an EMCEE than you are of a talker
Maybe if you spent more time applying the rules of this thread
I wouldn't have to leave all of your ryhmes dead

Honestly Jawknee, could you stop pressing the return key?
The last thing this 10 page max thread is your constant talking
What are you trying to hide? The fact that your ryhmes,
Sound like you wrote them to the beat of me ripping up the L.A. Times.

I could catch all your weak ryhmes in the leather of my glove.
Do you have a hard time grasping that EMCEEing is a thing that you'll never have a part of?
if you like this smilie :wth: here's one more
If you ryhmed against me, you'd have your jaw on the floor

 

Your rhymes get worse as you post Elie. It's almost not worth coming up with a retort.

L.A. Times?
Leather in your glove?

You suck, dude. Come up with better material.

 

damn, all these people are gettin on my nerves
see, i cant tell the difference from anything i've heard
yall are whining like my baby brother,
sh!t, people even stooped so low as to talk 'bout others mothers
but it's all the same, cuz this is just some friendly rap game
i only entered to break up the smack
cuz after a while, readers get sick of the verbal attacks
that they've heard one too many times
on some sh!tty pop station
foget callin a winner, people take a vacation

 

In every post it's like Jawknee's trying to stop me.
It's like a board game and I just screamed "Yahtzee!"
And before you complain that the last ryhme just didn't make sense
Decipher it a little before your unryhming arse gets bent

Are you out of shape? Kid where's your tape?
Put it on your mouth and don't talk again
I'll leave your ryhmes slain
If i'm getting worse in this game, Jawknee must be at the bottom of the chain
If it causes you that much pain,
I'll give you a bandaid and a cane so you can limp away

Could you please post something that pertains to this topic?
Or I could start talking about some of your belongings that are classified as ultra-microscopic
My ryhmes are bad, I say yours are all the same
While i'm hitting up the big leagues, your butt is in an exhibition game.

 

THE HITLIST

Got the hitlist to pick apart everyone's rhyme
Don't even think that I missed, it only takes me one time
So ladies and girls, attention everybody listen please
Cause I'm charging your all asses like a lawyer with high fees

Will - Don't test my skill, cause if you do you'll prolly fail
I'm attacking you like anthrax and guess what?
You got mail!

Bryan - Please stop lying, saying that you got mad props
Your lines are weak and only hurt poodles at dogshops
so stop posting here now and start acting you age
And if I want to know about my mom
Wait for me to come rattle your cage [woof-woof]

Derek - Apologies all around for your insecurities
But apparently your parents didn't mention the birds and the bees
So I guess i might as well just spill the beans now
PLEASE: stop getting off whenever you milk the cow [moo-moo]

Defman - You must be deaf to actually step in here
Or are you really a moron and you just can't hear?
Yes, your out you don't have time for waste
Cause if you ever come back again
I promise you'll get maced

Broken Fist - Your disses are missed
With your failed attempts to leave me pissed
If I'm older than my grandfather
Then wouldn't I be him?
We need to get you some xenon lights
Cause inside that head it's too dim

Jawknee - Where the hell do you get off callin me O'?
That's like me telling you mom ' thanks for last night hoe'
Cause you know that there's no talk between your mom and me
Although, once she said ' Close the door, I think I see Jawknee'

Elie - Last but not least, it's the hairiest woman beast that I know
And who'd have thought, she'd come back to this show?
Since you are the main star of 'Wanna Be Rappers' on MTV
Oh wait? How can it be on LPA too IBDD!
IBD - Insufficient Brian Disorder Dummy is what that stands for
You gonna cut off now, or do you want more?
Cause I'll get the staff to destroy you into pieces
And say no names
With 2 hours of life left
Somebody quick! phone Doctor Gamez!
With a P.H.D. in 2d effects
He might know every game
But he wouldn't know about woman
When it comes to sex
But I'm sure he knows the best deal on an adpater
Too bad nobody ever visits Eefactor

 

Hey Omar, this is the end, my brother, armegeddon is near
Your hit list was the end, it's the worst crap nearing my ear

Jawknee, would break at the seams and fall dead
But if you put water on her head, you'll get a chia pet instead
Uh-oh? Omar's moaning?
Couldn't get a girl in a cell if he bribed Lassie with men's clothing.

Will is chill, but when you diss him, he stands as light as a feather.
His fancy comebacks don't work when he has to ryhme them together.
And Derek, you speak of him, he worked you bad!
Beat you like Bush beat Gore, with the hanging chad!

Get off dese nuts, I saw it on a shirt
I told .Broken Fist that his hand wouldn't be the only thing hurt
He tried to blurt, I closed his mouth before his ugly ryhmes pulled up his skirt
His saliva got on my fingers, I just whiped them on his imaginary friend Kurt

As for Omar and the "staff", what are they supposed to do?
Band me from using a forums that's older than you?
Kid, don't be talking, EEFactor is past cool
It left LPA in the dust and sat on it like a stool.

 

I guess I might as well delete the "keep it clean" rule from the forums.

 

OMAR -
You had to rhyme the word here twice/
I wonder why that is, your rappin aint nice/
You probably go to church every Sunday and pray Jesus Christ/
Sh*t you shouldn't be worrying bout that, you should worry
bout goin to the doctor and treatin your lice/
You mess wit me one more time and you'll get whipped witta vice/
For all I know, you rap like your as white as rice

 

OMAR -
You had to rhyme the word here twice/
I wonder why that is, your rappin aint nice/
You probably go to church every Sunday and pray Jesus Christ/
Sh*t you shouldn't be worrying bout that, you should worry
bout goin to the doctor and treatin your lice/
You mess wit me one more time and you'll get whipped witta vice/
For all I know, you rap like your as white as rice [/b][/quote]
Um, was the last line appropriate?

 

OMAR -
You had to rhyme the word here twice/
I wonder why that is, your rappin aint nice/
You probably go to church every Sunday and pray Jesus Christ/
Sh*t you shouldn't be worrying bout that, you should worry
bout goin to the doctor and treatin your lice/
You mess wit me one more time and you'll get whipped witta vice/
For all I know, you rap like your as white as rice [/b][/quote]
Yo DEFDUMMY
I didn't rap 'here' twice
It's 2 different words
Just like 3 little mice

check yourself
But I wreck yourself

I'll come back at you soon
Bustin lyrical shots and make new windows in ur room

 

OMAR -
You had to rhyme the word here twice/
I wonder why that is, your rappin aint nice/
You probably go to church every Sunday and pray Jesus Christ/
Sh*t you shouldn't be worrying bout that, you should worry
bout goin to the doctor and treatin your lice/
You mess wit me one more time and you'll get whipped witta vice/
For all I know, you rap like your as white as rice [/b][/quote]
You racist pig with no sign of a wife
How can you make judgements about Omar and rice?
You need a shower, your ryhming has lice
It's infesting your lines, here's a diss: you're paying the price.

Don't ever ryhme her again unless you're accustomed to blood on your chin
On your skin? There you go again, with unnessecary ryhmes that serve no purpose within
Graphite? Cellulite? To you, there's no difference.
A dictionary of options, but you are Mr. Persistence.

And Jesus Christ? Will you ever shut your hole?
You must be burning inside, for lack of a soul.
I'll slap your momma, leave her begging me.
Elie? What type of beauty tree did the gods of the Emcee's drop of thee?

 

WTF?

 

VICTIM 1 - DEFMAN

I'm DEFinetly gonna trample you here DEF
No questions asked
When your decayed bones are all that's left
And the woman is finally unmasked
With your cheesy words
That float through the air
Like escaping turds
Dropping from your underwear
You know you wanna laugh
Cause personal embarassment is funny
Take a look at any line graph
10 years from now I'm gonna be making mad money
While your still pumping gas at the local sunnoco
In downtown New Mexico, driving you loco
So chill with your uptight sqaure remarks
See all I hear is neutered dog that always barks
Claiming that you really wants to get me tense
But how can we fight when your still chained to the backyard fence?
Keeping laughing cause that's all you'll do
Besides the rolling rock turds of gigantic poo
And let me know if you really wanna start beef
After I leave you falling like a crumpled leaf
I'm ready right here, let's go keep trying
Or just go back to emo songs that keep you crying

VICTIM 2 - DEREK
Ok, check this I ain't after Briana
But since you it started this let's talk a bit about you own momma
Cept I don't need jokes cause you know that I'm the whiz
Especially when I speak the truth that's all that it is
When it comes to sex with dad
Well, mom she just ate it
When D was 3 she said 'Out of 80 million sperm, you had to be the one who made it?'
Feels nice don't it?
When no one cares for little DJ
And do you still do that thing with
'Mommy, I gotta Pee Pay'
And don't ever say that you and I are are ever together
Or I'll beat you with DEF cause i turned him into a crumpled feather
Last I heard you and Elie were a special buddy team
Was that just a nasty rumor?
Or just a nasty dream?
Or both, or maybe you've got a secret forum to talk dirty
Label is as 'Our private little flirty flirty XOXO'
So here it is people
As you see, the competition is getting thinner
So why not waste anymore time
Let's just crown me the winner

 

OMAR -
You had to rhyme the word here twice/
I wonder why that is, your rappin aint nice/
You probably go to church every Sunday and pray Jesus Christ/
Sh*t you shouldn't be worrying bout that, you should worry
bout goin to the doctor and treatin your lice/
You mess wit me one more time and you'll get whipped witta vice/
For all I know, you rap like your as white as rice [/b][/quote]
Watch the racist remarks.

Even if you didn't mean any harm by it, still, try to keep the rhyming racisim-free.

Thanks.

 

This is dedicated to the kid...Elaine aka Elie.

E-lie, you ain't hard little brat, you're more like suttle.
F.ck you and your pathetic rebuttle.
Someone get this mother f.ckin' kid a shuttle,
Take him to emcee camp before he winds up dead in a puddle.

Your style's softer than the toilet paper I use to whipe my ass,
Your verses sound like you been smokin' too much grass.
When're you gonna realize that you're the outcast,
Tryin' to sound phat, but you sound outdated - straight out of the past.

Yo 'lie, you were destined to fail since you were a fetus,
You can't beat us, so don't attempt to cheat us,.
If I ever wanted a chance to just see ya',
I'd just flip the channel to VH1's Divas.

I'm giving you my wrath of pain like I was a God,
Cuz I love catching little fishies at the end of my fishing rod.
Sit down and relax cuz this is just the beginning you little whore,
Cuz you never heard nobody kick it like this before.

People like you and Ja Rule give rap a bad name;
50 Cent, Elie, how much more garbage we gettin' in this game?
How much more crap before we officially call this genre lame?
Girlie, might as well change your name from Elie to Elaine.

Pesky child has too much candy and gets wild,
Won't go to bed when it's her bed time, what a rebel child!
Tells mommy he won't be sucking her nipple tonight,
Cuz he'd rather do his sucking on the mic.
You smell, baby, go change your f.cking diaper,
In fact while your at it, change your style, you're too hyper.
Give me the mic and I'll give you a rattle,
In fact I'll just swipe it from you, just don't go and tattle.

Literally this is like taking candy from a baby,
You sound like you're not trying anymore, getting really lazy.
Must be that pot-belly you call a stomach,
I'll be sure to be there the moment you plumment;
Whoops, I mean as you plumment further down,
I'll wait when you crack and need to be locked up in a compound.

Taking elements of emceeing and using them against you,
You're a chattel, kid, and I'm about to rent you.
Kick you in your tibia and break the rest of your bones,
Except for your funny bone so you can see how hilarious these rhymes are that you wrote.

You're leftovers, son, not even a real challenge for me.
I'm up against a baby who still doesn't have all her teeth.
This is the part of the battle where I take my sword and stab you in the chest,
Kneel down before someone who's capital F-r-e-s-h, so fresh.

Here's some advice: take your raps and burn 'em.
Your rhymes aren't even hot enough to heat up my furnace.
You think you own this battle but you're still at the mere surface.
Stop rhymin' young'em and get that mic away from your epidermis.

You think you're enormous, but you bore us,
Moreover you snore us, and overload us,
With a bunch of sh.t from a horse's...ass,
I'll break you in half,
Split you like a log, break you in pieces like glass,
Making sure I get the last laugh,
Cuz I am the teacher, and you're the dunce in the corner of the class.

Tryin' to be cool to start flows here, you ain't no trendsetter,
The only trend you own is being a bedwetter.
And be sure tonight you'll soak your shorts,
As you lay awake thinking of a worthy retort.