I did this in a couple of minutes...So it aint one of my best but please reply Why you looking at me like that? Is it my face you’re staring at? My eyes are puffy, My nose is red, I think you can see, The sadness in me, Why did you let me go? Didn't you love me so? Was it all a lie? I can't remember, Clear my memory, So that I can see clearly, I miss you, I love you, Forgive my mistakes, I needed a break, I want you back, So do come back, I promise to be the perfect one, Accept me, Or reject me, But I will never, Be able to live without you, So let not death spare me. R&R please
It lacks imagery, a certain punch that poems need to keep people interested in them. More descriptive words would help, plus you don’t have to, but I always found talking in metaphors, however obvious, is more poem-like then just coming out and saying, "I love you, but you hate me, why did you lie?" Not to be to harsh, for constructing the poem in just a few minutes it's pretty good, the lines I promise to be the perfect one, Accept me, Or reject me, But I will never, Be able to live without you, So let not death spare me. Rock, so keep wirting man
wow nice 1 rose , good poem needs more descripitive words , hope you keep writeing , keep ur the gd work.
Pretty good poem but i agree it is not one of your best since you just wipped it up in a few minutes. More descripiton is needed. Also sorry to say it but i don't really like the first verse at all. Something about it. The way it was written doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. A revised resion of this could be great. Keep writting.
i have to agree with this but use this emotion that you are feeling to reconstruct this poem and i think it will be really powerful. anyways, not bad for doing it in only a few mins! keep it up! i would love to see the new version of it, if you plan to do one.