Sweet Dreams The Sun shinning down on me through the clouds as the breeze passes by me while sitting at the ocean the sound of the ocean and the birds and the smell of ocean water its like a dream so real yet it doesn't seem like it The dream keeping me sane while sitting there under the sun tanning letting it beaming down on me the cold ocean water running over my feet while sitting in the wet sand forgetting about everything for the mean time its only me here with birds and the breeze and its my world my dream that i only control no one but me i can taste strawberrys while in this dream as i am eating them and lemonade and just sitting there taking in the moment while it last i can feel the water going over my feet the seaweed going by me the breeze blowing in my hair and the water hitting the habor i can hear that as the waves crashs against the wood and the birds going around and the sand feeling warm on this summers day soon it will end when i wake, cause this is my sweet dream to escape for the time while i sleep to my soliatude By Sexy Kittie 722 (if i miss spelled something please let me know thnk you)
It had good descripition and the imagery was used well. The flow was quite good aswell. I didn't think this poem was fantastic though as it just happened, and then it was finished. It didn't build up to anything, didn't evoke any emotions, didn't make me think about anything. There was not enough feeling in this poem, it just seemed to superficial for me to enjoy it. Still, very good try. Hope to read more soon.
thank you for the feedback , this poem was mainly random but thanks for the feedback , i will try harder next time to make it all work out