The Gray

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Louis, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. #1
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Messages:
    8,769
    Likes Received:
    333



    This is a song I wrote which was initially a possible entry for the lyrics competition. Because of my fear for its success, I decided not to enter it and post it after the end of the competition. Well, here it is. Without a doubt, this has to be the best thing I have ever written.

    - - -

    This is a story told from the view of a man
    who watched as his sons slipped right out of his hands
    1 week before his before this birthday, what could he wish for then?
    So sit down, and let me begin.

    It was 3 years ago today when his first son was beat to death
    He crossed the line, he got what he had to expect
    The south side kids punished those who crossed the blood red line
    They watched day and night, if someone would cross in due time
    This line is not an image of the mind
    It's an actual line, crossing a city, stained with blood and grime
    This between-street divide was given its name
    When was blood was spilled upon it 6 years ago yesterday
    For 3 years, this city has been split into two
    A North and South side, and what's unbelievably true
    Is that these people aren't so different at all

    They just have a hard time accepting that things are their fault
    When this one man's son was killed by a south side gang
    His little brother got pissed and decided to make a change
    HIs only real want was to unite this place
    That was divided becase people think everyone else is to blame
    He had wanted this for the past 3 years
    He was sick and tired of having to live in fear
    Watch his parents in tears as they sat at home
    Alone, unaware their son was planning to go
    He left his house at midnight
    Took what he needed, locked his room tight
    He walked out the door and zipped up his coat
    As he gripped a spray can, a knife, and his notes
    He crossed the grime, opened the can, started at a wall of gray
    He started to pain, and when he'd be done, the wall would say:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, this city will fall
    If we don't unite at all, this is a call
    To all of you from the north and south sides
    For those who feel scared each and every night
    To those spending time guarding one stupid line

    To define that anybody who crosses should die
    What difference do we have from rags to riches?
    We are no different, just in different positions
    One person umemployed, another has a great job
    You're going to spill blood for this? Define your stupid law.
    This is a time for all of you to realize
    That inside, your hearts are all really the same size
    It's time to end the conflict, and stop the kills
    You killed my own brother for crossing to get milk
    I'm a young boy who lost his big brother today
    And I've come to write a message and say
    that today, we can change this place, and make it safe
    Please look inside yourselves before it's too late.."


    As he capped his can, six south side kids approached
    He pointed to the wall, took his knife and slit his own throat
    The kids stood in awe as they stared at the wall
    Couldn't believe what it said, as they started at it 'till dawn
    Hours passed and people gathered to see
    The body of a young boy dead in the street
    They read the letters sprayed on a wall of gray
    Taking in what this north side kid had to say
    The word spread, and eventually it reached the boy's dad
    Who lost in one week nearly everything he had
    He lost his sons to spite, and his wife to suicide
    One week before his birthday, didn't deserve this lfie
    Days passed in the town, and things appeared to have gotten better
    Everyone finally felt a little closer together
    How strange how people can change in a second
    All because a single boy made one powerful message
    As the city united, the red line was covered with a newly paved street
    Finally after years, the people made ends meet
    Although this one man lost his whole life in days
    He's proud of his son for what he had to say

    Now the deaths long gone, but the letters stay
    On the Gray that stays in the city today
    A wall that shows all the pain the strife
    From the hell that they used to call a life
    But because one boy and his strive to change things for the better
    Now everybody is a bit more closer together
     
  2. #2
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2003
    Messages:
    15,038
    Likes Received:
    86



    As I said when you first sent me it; It's amazing.

    Still think you should have entered it into the comp though :p
     
  3. #3
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    12,551
    Likes Received:
    166



    You have an ability to write poems with stories at the core, good job ^_^
     
  4. #4
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2004
    Messages:
    2,604
    Likes Received:
    1



    Great storying telling, and a pretty nice poem. Good job.
     
  5. #5
    Christopher

    Christopher Über Member Über Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2005
    Messages:
    12,081
    Likes Received:
    28



    I think it's brilliant
    not great no good job it's an excellent job
    could've won the comp with this ...
     
  6. #6
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Messages:
    8,769
    Likes Received:
    333



    Thanks for the comments.
     
  7. #7
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    0



    Man, you should have entered, would have been great to see how it did, because it’s very original. By the way, is there any truth, or if not, what was your inspiration?
     
  8. #8
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2004
    Messages:
    15,206
    Likes Received:
    236



    Awesome Louis, just awesome :)
     
  9. #9
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Messages:
    8,769
    Likes Received:
    333



    To be honest with you, there was no direct inspiration for the song. I just thought in my head that I wanted to write something really, really good. It had to be powerful and express a point. So I thought of difference, and it made me think about a situation where a city is just divided because of differences people just won't accept. So the story sprung out of that.
     
  10. #10
    The_Cool_Cow

    The_Cool_Cow Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2005
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0



    That was really amazing. You could've one the contest with that one!

    Also, for some reason it reminded me of Kenji. I think it looks like something that Mike would write! :)

    Anyway, good job!
     
  11. #11
    natalie_16_2k5

    natalie_16_2k5 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0



    I know i say about all the poems I read they are good, but truly this is the best poem/song so far. I really cant believe how good it is. Im in awe. I bow down to you!
     
  12. #12
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Messages:
    8,769
    Likes Received:
    333



    Ha ha, thank you.
     

Share This Page