this is one of my very first ever songs i have wrote so its not brilliant, tell me what you think of it. the song is mainly about someone who got picked on all their life, and decides to track down all the people over time that have pissed him off and kill them all. unfinished buisness (intro music) verse 1 ive cried, ive screamed, ive been knocked down hard, ive still got the bruises and still got the scars, i can still remember how i got every single one, words and scenes cant describe my dreams of how i get my revenge on all those mean, and now im gonna make it a reality for every single one chorus 1 ive got unfinished buisness with you, revenge is sweet for all of you, run off and hide round the back, i'll still find where your hiding at, you can run out to the woods, you'll think your safe from all of us, i'll hunt you all down, and line you up and mow you down... mow you down verse 2 after day in day out of pysical mental pain, im still walking around, im still insane, its hard to believe i still keep it bottled up inside, harmfull threats and thrightfull dreams, all of this, my two eyes have seen, its time i let them know what it felt like every single time. chorus 2 ive got unfinished buisness with you, revenge is sweet for all of you, run off and hide round the back, i'll still find where your hiding at, you can run out to the woods, you'll think your safe from all of us, i'll hunt you all down, and line you up and mow you down... mow you down! (guitar solo) breakdown ive cried, ive screamed, ive been knocked down hard, ive still got the bruises and still got the scars, i can still remember how i got every single one, words and scenes cant describe my dreams of how i get my revenge on all those mean, and now im gonna make it a reality for every single chorus 3 (one!) ive got unfinished buisness with you, revenge is sweet for all of you, run off and hide round the back, i'll still find where your hiding at, you can run out to the woods, you'll think your safe from all of us, i'll hunt you all down, and line you up and mow you down... mow you down! outro (ah!) oh im gonna line you up and mow you down! (ah!) oh im gonna line you up and mow you down! mow you down!
OH MY GOD!!!! AWESOME SONG!!!! man, i just can't believe it. this one just become one of my favorites it is really powerful and the topic's just awesome. you did a very good job here. have you recorded this? i imagine it must sound really cool. congrats! it is really fascinating and i hope to read more of your stuff soon. keep it up!
Yeah sounds like a good song; would love to hear how you set it to music. Unfortunately I think A LOT of people can relate to the emotion/pain listed in the lyrics, many people go through it everyday and have fantasies like those about payback.
I really liked the topic you have chosen to write this syuff,its awesome,and the words used are awesome too,in short its an awesome poem,and its really great to see more and new poeple coming in here and posting their work,hope to see more of your work,keep it up.
this is what i can really identify with. very painful with sweet revenge, what many of us have thought about. i could see this becoming a really good and powerful song. i'd love to see more of your stuff!
Great stuff. if you record a demo i want to hear it. THIS IS AMAZING. i can only imagine what it would sound like to music. Keep up the good stuff.