Why isn't life perfect?

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by D_A_V_I_D, Aug 25, 2005.

  1. #1
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Sorry i havn't written anything in so long, no time. But anyway. This poem isn't totally original, a friend came to me with a half started poem that he couldn't finish and i told him to keep working on it, but i would write my own version, so i can't take all the credit (but i'll try to take most :p ). Also much softer than what i usually write.

    Why isn't life perfect?

    Why can’t I say I love you?
    When that is all I feel,
    Why do I call you my friend?
    When you betray me again and again,
    Why do I pray to God?
    When I don’t believe he’s really there,
    Why does my heart keep beating?
    When life is my only despair.

    But what if the world was perfect,
    Would I have the courage to tell you then?
    Would I believe in God without question?
    Would I live with no despair?
    But how could such a world exist,
    When we make war instead of peace,
    Only watch the starving become hungrier,
    And always hurt those we love the most.

    So I’ll keep my love a secret,
    In hope that one day,
    The world will become perfect,
    Though I doubt I’ll see that day,
    So I’ll pray to God that day will come,
    Sometime during my life,
    Until then I’ll keep on living,
    Because I don’t have the courage to die.
     
  2. #2
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    awww, david this was really good!

    great rhythm to it and all those questions....

    loved it but loved these lines the best...

    well done! ;)
     
  3. #3
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    This was great! I love this bit *points to quoted part*
     
  4. #4
    saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    Sorry David,not overly keen on this one.

    I just didn't like the overall feel.

    I'll blame it on the outside influence because i know you are a great writer :p
     
  5. #5
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Thanks all three of you, i don't expect you to like everything i write so i don't really care if you don't like it. I've had so much on my mind to write about and i havn't had time, school holidays are comming up, hopefully i'll be able to write again, Thanks once more. :D
     
  6. #6
    hybrid_fan

    hybrid_fan Ambient

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    great!!!!
     
  7. #7
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    amazing...amazing job, amazing how you can write so well, amazing how your works can be sober and dynamic at the same time, amazing how your works can be intense yet legible at the same time, amazing how your poems trangress from learning to teaching, amazing how i visualize something or another when i read your stuff, amazing how i visualized a thunderstorm in a serene desert, a dry blackout with spears of electrifying bolts when i read this poem....


    :eek:


    just AMAZING!
     
  8. #8
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    wow, i don't think i even visulised half that stuff :chemist: , lol :lol: .

    Thanks freakolp, your pretty good too. ^_^
    I apriciate your feedback so much, your a truley amazing and ispiratioal writer.

    Thanks to every one again
     

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