You can always create, what you can't control

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Seinfeld, May 30, 2007.

  1. #1
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    Please leave a comment:

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    You can always create, what you can't control:

    Sleep now child, don't make a sound, lay your head to rest
    Even with your aching heart, bleeding in your chest
    Try to look on past your wounds, up into the sky
    Wipe away the tears you've cried and look into her eyes

    Show her you are not afraid of what is sure to come
    You've cast aside the angst from which you've been trying to run
    No more hiding under the covers of your bed
    You're done keeping all this pain locked inside your head

    You have turned your back on me
    Forced me to my knees!
    You have turned your back on me
    You're just a fading effigy!
    You have turned your back on me
    Forced me to my knees!
    You have turned your back on me
    But I'm back up on my feet!

    Standing your ground, you swallow the lump, clogging your throat
    Taking deep breaths and speaking last words, before you let go
    All the pain and suffering, you've left with your past
    Creator and creation finally split paths

    You have turned your back on me
    Forced me to my knees!
    You have turned your back on me
    You're just a fading effigy!
    You have turned your back on me
    Forced me to my knees!
    You have turned your back on me
    But I'm back up on my feet!​
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2007
  2. #2
    Fox

    Fox Love & Trolls LPA Super Member

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    I can easily picture LP singing it

    Good work! ^_^
     
  3. #3
    Rahat

    Rahat Nyeh LPA VIP

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    nice i like it
     
  4. #4
    Zakrisk

    Zakrisk Smoke weed.

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    I think it looks good.

    However, the 'your' that is supposed to be 'you're' in the chorus kind of bothers me. I'm not sure why, but whenever I see something like that it really annoys me. :lol:

    And, for me, the fact that I can picture LP singing it takes away from it's originality. I really liked that other piece I commented on because it was different and unexpected from you.
     
  5. #5
    Daniel

    Daniel Run for your life. LPA Super Member

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    :lol: that "your" thing is one of my pet hates.

    But otherwise, good job Nobody :thumbsup:
     
  6. #6
    Roubin

    Roubin Well-Known Member

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    Perfect lyrics! I like that, it reminds me of my ex girlfriend.
     
  7. #7
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    Ooookay...so like...WTF!?

    This is what happens when you proofread lyrics ONCE at about 3 am and don't bother reading them afterwards:

    You're >>> your

    It's edited now...thank you for comments...and one question...how is this like anything LP has ever written?...just out of curiosity...
     
  8. #8
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Wow, nice poem! I think this is likely the best piece you've written, it stands head and shoulders above the rest in my eyes. It sounds more poetic, less like a Nu Metal song or something.

    Now, if I am interpreting it right, I like what it is about too. A person who lives their life devoted to their God but upon dying realizes He isn't there, and there is no heaven for them to ascend to.

    Tell me if I got the right meaning lol. Great piece :)

    EDIT: And you put me in your signature! lol. Awesome.

    EDIT 2: I personally see this as far different from any of LPs material, and definitely completely different from anything pre-Minutes to Midnight. I was even thinking when reading it "This is good, he isn't writing something like he wants to follow in LPs footsteps this time". I don't know what these other people are talking about :p.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2007
  9. #9
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    You nailed the meaning...I had someone read this, and they said they could see it being about a mother and her child.

    It's basically the same but I was still aiming for what you said.^_^

    And yah...I put you in my sig :lol:
     
  10. #10
    The_Catalyst

    The_Catalyst Active Member

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    Great piece. Honestly, this is better than anything I've ever written. I wanna hear it in music now.
     

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