Wow, thank you so much. I honestly didn't think anyone would have even read that at all. Yes, that all really did happen, it wasn't a story. Scary enough to say I actually saw that guy again today while eatting lunch with my friend Brian. I was in the middle of saying something, saw the door open and bam! He comes walking in and waves to me, I wave back and looked right at Brian. My whole body went into shock. Brian said, "Whoa, break." I hadn't a clue what he meant but I got up and went in the bath were I nearly fainted. I started hyper ventilating like crazy about ready to just fall over crying but I keep standing and my face dry because I didn't want Brian nor anyone else to see me in such a state. I came back out after waiting a few minutes to make sure he might have left. I looked around quickly then came back to Brian asking him he he'd left. He said yes. I sat down breathing in and out making sure not to cry. All I did was look up at Brian and say, "That was him." Small pools of water began to grow within my eyes but I faught with my stomach to keep them all in even though I was shaking real bad and ready to throw up. The pit grew and Brian saw this, taking the tip my hang into his rubbing the backside of it with his thumb. "I know, I can tell these things." Still the tears kept pushing to unearth themselves but I eventually won the war with only some small dampness in my lashes. I couldn't believe, but then again I thought I'd see him today... I knew I shouldn't have gone to that pizza place.....
Not Too Bothered. Sticking to myself control, Waiting for my expiration to take it's toll. I'm not always here to protect myself, Not too bothered by lieing to me Myself repeatedly to date. I am not, I am nothing at all. I am not, Not here to take the fall. I am not, Going to stand here alone. I am walking away from this fight. My hands tied back, chewing on my hair, I'm not wanting to be anywhere Much less with myself. They say I'm an instant self gradifying person. Knowing how wrong they are to even think it, I'm not here to proclaim my greatness. But instead I see all my fakeness by a photograph. My face a blurb in a portrate hang on a wall. I am not, I am nothing at all. I am not, Not here to take the fall. I am not, Going to stand here alone. I am walking away from this fight. My hands tied back, chewing on my hair, I'm not wanting to be anywhere Much less with myself. Myself, myself, I am sick of being stranded with my nails digging into my scalp. Rendering my body unfit for eyes to see. Not letting myself be me. Not taking a small step further in a safe direction, I keep coming back to no explanations. My actions or their implications. I'm standing alone, I'm standing alone, I'm standing alone, No We's expect for this mouse in my pocket. I named her Rotten Me, because Rotten is all it'll ever be... But then again, I'm not too bothered, right?
Not Too Bothered. Sticking to myself control, Waiting for my expiration to take it's toll. I'm not always here to protect myself, Not too bothered by lieing to me Myself repeatedly to date. I am not, I am nothing at all. I am not, Not here to take the fall. I am not, Going to stand here alone. I am walking away from this fight. My hands tied back, chewing on my hair, I'm not wanting to be anywhere Much less with myself. They say I'm an instant self gradifying person. Knowing how wrong they are to even think it, I'm not here to proclaim my greatness. But instead I see all my fakeness by a photograph. My face a blurb in a portrate hang on a wall. I am not, I am nothing at all. I am not, Not here to take the fall. I am not, Going to stand here alone. I am walking away from this fight. My hands tied back, chewing on my hair, I'm not wanting to be anywhere Much less with myself. Myself, myself, I am sick of being stranded with my nails digging into my scalp. Rendering my body unfit for eyes to see. Not letting myself be me. Not taking a small step further in a safe direction, I keep coming back to no explanations. My actions or their implications. I'm standing alone, I'm standing alone, I'm standing alone, No We's expect for this mouse in my pocket. I named her Rotten Me, because Rotten is all it'll ever be... But then again, I'm not too bothered, right? Guess again... guess again. The wire, the air is getting thin. Is there any mercy left out there for me. Unwrap the gift of innocence, Put it on, see that it's my size. Cover it up around my arms, down my legs, Can't touch me now, Can't touch me now. Myself, myself, I am sick of being stranded with my nails digging into my scalp. Rendering my body unfit for eyes to see. Not letting myself be me. Not taking a small step further in a safe direction, I keep coming back to no explanations. My actions or their implications. But then again I'm just a strong hold, My walls built a mile deep, The Nile long. Just don't question my integerty, Because this time I'm gonna actually stand up for me. Gratify, live up to the name. I am not, I am nothing at all. I am not, Not here to take the fall. I am not, Going to stand here alone. I am walking away from this fight. My hands tied back, chewing on my hair, I'm not wanting to be anywhere Much less with myself. But it's changed, Rotten Me isn't bothered too much anymore. **** The bold was just added, comment on it if you would please. Not sure if it all fits as well as I thought it would.****
You may think I'm falling way over on this one but really Dips..you're more strong than I could ever imagine I'd be. I really wish for all the hapiness in the world for you,you deserve it,you're the most amazing person I 've seen or heard about,and your poetry is the most beautiful I'v ever read(I'm not kidding) :hugz: You're just too wonderful
Awwwww, you're makin' me blush.... (see smilie) I'll try to keep writing. I've seen throughout my growing up and things that my writing is getting a little more detailed and less.... "high school" depressed queen thingy like. In other words, it has a bigger vocab then it use to. *hugs you all* :hugz: '
Awake to the new morning, Still thinking about last nights swore warning. Lept from one new step to the other, Just trying to ignore what I saw. After the night became a new morning, I called up my old friend, my old dear. Shocked, awed, greatly of what I hear. Both just dumbfounded, Missing, Distance from eachother. ____________________________ Add onto it more later.