how is it cheating if your partner agrees and is involved? Oo I just don't get what that has to do with what I wrote.
I don't get it either lol. And threesomes never ever work out. One or both members of the relationship will feel resentment, and if you don't, it's a fucked up relationship that won't last anyways.
I believe that you actually love someone as deep as possible, even if you did cheat. But normally if that ever happens, one usually break up because the person loves the other to much. Confronting the person you love, telling the person you have cheated on her/him is the hardest thing to do. (If you tell it off quite easily, without any regrets... Then there was probably no love there in the start) I have been cheated on, i became mad, but i overreacted, there was a reason behind it all. Not just because she wanted to fuck around.. But a person who had a rough time with his/her ex, and then gets in a relationship with you. It's hard. Feelings usually popps in, even cheating may occure. But you take that risc when you get in the relationship in the first place. . Cheating often occures when one is feeling lonely, in need of contact when the counterpart is away. I know people who has done that, and had the worst possible feelings afterwards. Short: Just don't judge a person JUST by his/her actions. Talk to the person, figure it out. There may be a reason for it. I think it's immature to just give up on the relationship if it happens, it's hurtfull i know. Not everybody deserves a second chance. But someone actually does. You never know, it could end up as the best releationship you've ever been in. Or... it could go straight to hell, and you'll end up feeling like an idiot.
I agree with travz. If my boyfriend would cheat on me, I couldn't care less if he had "good reasons". I don't think it's immature, but someone should deserve to have a faithful partner. There's no "good reasons", and if my partner would tell me he was lonely I would just send him to hell even faster.
I believe that there are times when threesomes work out, same as foursomes and whatever. If you're in a open relationship and all parties are attracted to each other, what would be the problem with that? I'm certainly not the type of person who would seek an open relationship, I've been asked to join one before and I declined, for several reasons. What I'm saying is, I don't find anything wrong with them and I don't think they're good for me but if a chance came up again in the future I won't immediately turn it down. That goes back to the cheating-kissing thing, if you are NOT in an open relationship or you do anything that breaks the agreements that all involved decided on, you are cheating, no matter what. There are boundaries to every relationship and if someone breaks them then break it off with them. Simple as that.
Sorry, but reality isn't all "THIS or THAT", and that is why there is a such thing as psychology in the first place. Funny enough, (and REALLY ODD) I met Eli Roth last night, and we had a conversation about what is "evil" and the Milgram experiment. Put a person in a fucked up situation, and watch the choices people make...they'll do what they feel is important...and sometimes what they is important may seem really horrible, but in their mind, they are doing the best thing. We also talked about how some people think he is a sick fuck for making really violent films even though he isn't a violent guy...kinda like how you might think I'm a sick fuck *shrugs*
When it comes to cheating, there IS only THIS or THAT for me. Oh, and btw, I studied Psychology for quite some time, so don't tell me about it. Maybe just try to accept other opinions and stop telling people "you just don't know what you're talking about", because that's basically what you're doing right now. Thank you.
An open relationship is not a real relationship. It's basically fiction. Somebody always gets jealous. The fact is that people want to be exclusive with each other and feel wanted. Society has made us this way. When you're in an open relationship, no matter how instinctual and polygamous you feel, you'll also feel jealousy when you think of your partner doing the same thing. It's impossible not to or else you wouldn't be together in the first place. This whole open relationship thing is just a myth. It's experimentation that never works.
Nah, it's just a matter of trust, really. Open relationship is the non-marriage version of being a swinger. It can work, but it never lasts. Then again, what does?
Your posts in this thread have pretty much been like "wtf? what are you guys thinking?" to people who do not share your same viewpoint and I quote, "Btw, acting like a douche has nothing to do with psychology. Be in a relationship and be faithful, or break up. It's simple as that." "...and if my partner would tell me he was lonely I would just send him to hell even faster" I really find it hard to believe that you've studied psychology. I'm not here to judge or belittle anybody, just here to give a different viewpoint. I've said the same things that you have said and then years later I've been cheated on, cheated, and have been "the other guy". Nothing was malicious, douchey behavior unless you feel that having a suck-ass self-esteem and fear of being alone makes you a douche. IMO, it makes you a pussy. Purposely hurting someone's feelings because you can't come to grips with the fact that you are a pussy? That, I would call a douche...and the people who get caught on CHEATERS who say "It's your fault I'm doing this!!!!"..they are douches.
I know people who have pretty casual relationships, and they aren't exclusive and they've been like that for a few years. Cheating is not okay, I agree but there could be circumstances that would be very hard to handle. 1 scenario, if you have a family (not bro-sis wise but wife-kids-husband wise) and are in a job and other jobs are scarce and your boss is trying to power grip you and threaten to fire you if you do not have a fling, you might have a very specific talent or jobs can be extremely scarce and let's face it right now, they are. What can you do about this if it were to happen? You can say fuck off and lose you job, putting your family in financial struggle You can try to press charges but you have to have evidence and that can be hard to come by *especially where I live where you have to have a persons consent to record them and tell them for what purpose you are doing so what person is going to agree to that when they are doing something wrong? You could record them anyway but it wouldn't be able to be used in a court of law and you may even get fined for it. Which would also put you in financial struggle. You can resort to physical violence but everyone involved may end up in jail and temporarily or permanently loses their child (in some cases) Not saying it's the right thing to do but in those circumstances I would find it difficult to blame a person, especially when it seems they're backed against four walls and no door with a 50" ceiling. Seems there's no way out sometimes. Everything in life is not always black and white, ask yourself this "Would I ever kill anyone?" "If it's self-defense?" Okay you end up killing someone to keep yourself alive, does it make anyone less dead? It makes you less dead, but a life is still lost in the end. If you say you would not purposely do it, even in self-defense do you value everyone elses life more so than your own? You value a proven murderer more than you do your own life? I only have one life, I'm going to keep it as long as possible. (btw, I 100% disagree with the death penalty, only when you are in immediate danger should you take such an action) personally don't agree with Rocky, I think if it's a 97% relationship and that's not good enough for you to find someone else without cheating. Be friends first, get to know a person and let it be known at the start of a relationship what you expect from your partner and if they do not provide what you need then find someone else who does not have a problem with them. It's not good to take a chance and hurt people you're suppose to care about. That's not to say I don't see where he's coming from, it's just not something I agree with.
Believe what you want. For me, it has nothing to do with psychology, call me a liar or whatever. I can't imagine a single situation that would make cheating understandable or even acceptable. "Oh, I've been lonely, sorry honey"? I don't see how a relationship has a future, if one partner feels THAT lonely that he goes to someone else. There's something like conversation - just talk to your partner. If you are in a hard situation - okay, sucks, but just TALK with the one you're with. There's no reason just to go and cheat. For me, it is simple as being faithful. I don't know why anyone would be in a relationship, if you can't be faithful to your partner. I don't get what it has to do with psychology, if I say "I wouldn't stay with someone who cheat's on me just because he claims to be lonely". If you're lonely, let your partner help you. And if you don't trust him enough to do so, maybe he's not the one. It's okay, if you have a different point of view - but maybe try to accept, that other people won't agree with you. No reason to call them a liar, this is kind of really rude actually. However - I don't think it makes cheating acceptable just because someone is a "pussy", as you call it. Again - just try to talk. I know it might be hard to talk about stuff like that, believe me I do. But I'm just tired of people claiming "Sorry, I just have a horrible self-esteem, I didn't know what to do other than cheating" and then thinking this would be an apology. You can't blame people to be too hurt and proud to accept such explanations.
The way I'm reading your posts here is like "it's okay to do it... but it's not okay... but it is okay". I don't see what point you're trying to make. And about being a pussy or being a douche, I don't know what the distinction is for. It's still a flaw either way.
"Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes." I don't know where douches fit into the equation.
Simply put, you cheat when you're unhappy. It doesnt have to be an aspect relating to the relationship you're in. It could be any small factor in your life. I could go on forever with a web where it could of derived and where it can just be the route of several factors. Thats usually what causes peeps to cheat. Ive been on both sides. I know it sucks. But I have learned that if they cheat, they cheat. Suck it up and move on.