Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I'm sorry that things happened that way, Will, but, maybe it was for the best. You want her, but it was causing you stress and headaches, and causing her and her boyfriend stress and headaches. But at least things are resolved, for now. Maybe sometime in the future, things could work out. Good luck, dear. <3

 

Rest In Peace Toshi...why'd he have to go like that..

 

God dammit.

 

No, no. The friendship I'm saving is the friendship I've got with the girl. The relationship I'm saving is the one between the girl and her boyfriend. There isn't anyone else involved, aside from her sister and her brother-in-law, who both think I'm trying to move in on her.

I mean, I was, but I wasn't being a vulture about it. I was letting things happen as they had to happen. But her boyfriend was constantly giving her problems regarding me, so I decided it wasn't worth her and her boyfriend fighting anymore, even though that's what I wanted to happen. But there's no telling whether she'd have still been my friend after they'd broken up, because she could've blamed the whole thing on me and stopped talking to me.

But I'm sure I'll find someone else, too. I was just head-over-heels for this girl.

 

So she's been depressed lately 'cause she's in love with me, and knows that we can't be more than best friends. Fuck, I thought she got over me...it's been 1½ months since she first told me...and she's got a boyfriend now, for fucks sake!

I don't like her like that...goddamnit.

 

For the first time in my life I can say I accomplished the feat of improving my health (losing weight) and it has certainly done wonders for my self-esteem.
As shy and unassuming as I've been my whole life, it feels nice to boast some confidence within myself. I've always been one for self-hate, but I finally
realized that a bullshit defeatist attitude like that would get me nowhere in
life. I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm proud of what I've accomplished.

Depression fucking sucks, but I can rest easy knowing my poor self-esteem
won't be the cause of it. I will no longer be the one bringing myself down. Having respect for yourself is key to a better piece of mind. Fuck pessimism... here's to entering 2008 with unbridled optimism, and a new lease on life.

 

Thank you, thank you for saying this. This can go for SO many of my close friends (several of them being from the LPA community) and I just wish that people can realize this, like you have. I really really admire you for being able to come across all these things in your life, and I think it's amazing that you've accomplished it. You rock, man. XD <3

 

I've failed two of my classes, one of them by a handful of points. This means I'm going to be expelled from Kent State (again), which means I'm going to have to start paying back all my student loans right away.

I guess this means I've got to grow up now, no more being an immature kid. I've got to get myself straightened out. And there's no way I'm going to let my parents pay my loans off based on MY mistake. I'm going to do it.

 

Go for it!

 

Is it incredibly pathetic that it worries me that I don't even make her 'top friends'?

 

Especially when you have her as one of your "top friends"? Yeah, I know that feeling. Drop her ass then...she doesn't think of you as that important, you do the same....internet or RL.

 

I need to stop being so out-spoken at work. It can lead to trouble. Problem is it's how I am though, heh.

 

Thank you for the kind words Arlene... it really means a lot.

 

My dad died yesteday. Smoking for 30 years finally got to him.

 

Wow...Paul, I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

Paul, my thoughts are with you and your family. Sorry to hear this, you don't deserve any of the things that have happened to you.

 

Sorry to hear that. Thoughts are with you.

 

I'm sorry that this had to happen to your dad. My thoughts are also with you.

 

Sorry to hear it man.