We had another thread like this but of course it's long dead, so here's the new and improved one. I've got a few light bulb jokes to start off with... How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb? 12001. 1 to actually change it, 2000 more to record the event and take pictures, and 10000 more to follow it around until it burns out. How many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just cry in the dark. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A fish. Okay, so mine aren't that good. That's why YOU should post better ones!
- good idea for a topic errrm let me see..... why didnt the skeleton go to the party? because it had nobody to go with sorry that was bad
i remember the last time we had a joke thread, i believe several of us were warned (including myself) and the thread was closed due to racists jokes. maybe i'm just old though... What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? I lost my truck. What did the tree say to the squirrel? Stop picking at my nuts! Shoot me, mature jokes suck ass.
How do you know if a blonde is sexually satisifed? Who cares What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back! What is 10 feet long and stinks of piss? Old people doing the Conga! BA-DUM-DUM-PISH
i was just writeing that one and everytime i see it it makes me laugh. what is the meaning of the word unfair putting a blind man in a circle room and say your food is in the corner
got this one from a friend.. <ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good. Alright, so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died." <ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." <ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question. So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly." <Piro-nuts> rofl... <ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in... the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died. So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."
who do the Marines send in when all the Marines are gone? ....the Submarines...HA! i crack myself up!
<insert pointless argument that you proved them wrong, then ask this.> Why is the sun red? < there answer> Because it burns Bitch
I love lightbulb jokes... I think there's another emo one along the lines of: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 4...One to drop it, two to cry, and one to write poetry about it. And this one only makes sense if you're into ska... How many ska kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3...One to drop it, and two to say "Pick it up, pick it up!" One more thing... A dyslexic man walks into a bra...