What do you call a snowman in the desert? A Puddle What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-Eye-Deer What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still No-Eye-Deer How do you know if a blonde has been on the computer? There is white-out on the screen and a piece of cheese next to the mouse. For all those who know about Shane Warne: When Shane Warne and Simone first got married Shane said, "I am Putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 10 years of marriage, Simone had never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 10th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Simone could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?" Shane thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." Simone was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened by your behaviour. However, since you are addicted to sex, I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem." Shane thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Simone asked Shane, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Shane answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre and redeemed them for cash."
Girl: Forgive me father for i have sinned! Priest: What have you done my child? Girl: I called i man son of a bitch Priest: Why did you call him a son of a bitch? Girl: Because he touched my hand! Priest: Like this? (as he touches her hand) Girl: Yes father Priest: That's no reason to call a man son of a bitch! Girl: Then he touched my breast! Priest: Like this? (as he touched her breast) Girl: Yes father. Priest: That's no reason to call a man son of a bitch. Girl: Then he took off my clothes. Priest: Like this? (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: Yes father. Priest: That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch. Girl: Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where! Priest Like this? (as he stucks his you know what into her you know where) Girl: YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER! Priest: (after a few minutes) That's no reason to call a man son of a bitch! Girl: But father he had AIDS! Priest: THAT SON OF A BITCH! A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach.Luckily the babies are ok.The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years and then one daughter walks into yhe room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was having a pee and this bullet came out"replies the daughter.The mother tells her it's ok and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was having a pee when this bullet came out" replies the daughter.The mother explains her what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's ok" says the mom "I know what happened you where having a pee and a bullet came out" ''No" says the boy. " I was jerking off and I shot the dog"
my michael jackson jokes.. how are michael jackson and mcdonald's alike? they both stuff old meat into seven-year-old buns. i got a new car radio the other day. when you say 'rock' it plays rock, when you say 'jazz' it plays jazz, and so on. so i was driving down the road when a couple of third graders ran out in front of my car. "fucking kids!" i yelled. suddently, my radio started to play michael jackson.. why did the chicken cross the road? (this is the best answer) michael jackson. naw, you know a blonde's been using the computer when the joystick is wet. a blonde, a burnette, and a redhead were all pregnant at a doctor's office. the doctor walks in and asks the burnette, "how was the baby concieved?" she answered, "i was on top." the doctor replied, "then you're going to have a boy." next, he asked the redhead the same thing, and she answered, "i was on the bottom." the doctor replied, "then you're going to have a girl." suddently, the blonde burst into tears and said, "am i going to have puppies?" one more..how are a blonde and a hardware store alike? they're both ten cents a screw. eh, blonde jokes are fun..even though i am blonde..
lol michael jackson jokes eh.... What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them
michael jacksons house got searched by the police... ... they found class C drugs in the garden ... class B drugs in the living room ... and the whole of class A in his bedroom
As long as we're doing Michael Jackson jokes... Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? He heard that boys' pants were half off. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and is dangerous to children, the other holds groceries.
my other blonde joke: a blonde came walked out of a bus with one of her breasts exposed. a nearby police man came up to her and asked her why she was so indecently exposed. she thought about it a minute and said, "oh! i left my baby on the bus!" tee hee. me hearts michael jackson jokes. how does michael jackson pick his nose? in a catalouge.
How do you confuse a Newfie? Stick him in a circular room and tell him to hide in a corner. Going on a limb here, some NEwfoundlanders find it to be racist amongst us, but seeing there are only two of us and I doubt Mark cares, who cares?
I told this one on the last joke thread....but who cares Why did the blonde have a bruise on her bellybutton? Becuase her boyfreind was blonde too. i love this joke......i'm blonde, but thats ok.