Through corridors of night i creep, in vain i search for peaceful sleep. Tormented dreams of childhood days, then i awake my mind amaze. I reach for drugs to ease the pain, i toss, and turn, and try again. But still the labyrinth of time keeps jumbling up my restless mind. Its 4 o clock, and its already dawn, i rise to see the light Of turquoise sky and morning moon; ive lived another night. And now the morning sun has come, theres coffee on the stove. More cigarettes to black the lung, more torment to impose. Again i will fight another day, though weakling that i am. Because i know that same of you, you really do give a damn. Every day i pray for some inner peace, To ease my burdens, my independence to increase. So when night once again falls, i ll not forget to say, That plz make tomorrow a little better than today.
Pretty good, i think i liked your last poem better. I found the transition from the labyrinth idea, back to the real world a bit to subtle, and then that original idea seemed to be a bit fogotten and i really liked it. So overall it seemed like almost 2 seperate ideas that could of been merged together, but it wasn't done very well.